When Heroes Fall
by invalid-reality
Summary: With magic destroyed, it should not exist, right? Wrong. Faith finds herself on a journey following a tragic experience. Some heroes that fall, they stay down, but Faith is determined to rise back up again no matter what it takes along the way
1. Chapter 1

******Author's Notes:** This is mostly a Faith-centric story, but will eventually be Fuffy. The timeline is set a few years post-chosen, certain events afterwards from the comics are referenced to, but not entirely based off of what had happened in season 8 and the beginning of season 9/Angel & Faith. I've put my own spin on things, only borrowing a few little events/situations from the comics and twisting it to my own liking. I've been wanting to write a story like this for a while, the idea always in the back of my mind, but the inspiration never there until after I had (finally) finished Whatever Doesn't Kill Us. I hope you guys enjoy the story, the chapters will be long and I'm not sure about the rate of updates since I am writing this as I go along. Let me know what you think and constructive criticism is always welcome :)

* * *

**_Chapter One_**

Being alone was something she'd gotten used to, something she learned over the years to appreciate when she had the chance just to escape for a couple of hours. It gave her time to think, but unlike how it was for her in prison, she didn't feel like the walls were always closing in around her. Everything that happened in life, whether it went wrong or right, was always a lesson to be learned in the end. Every choice, every mistake, it gave her things to think about and a reason to make things right-or at least as right as she could make them.

The world had changed and so had she. Gone were the days where she was reckless and out of control. Gone were the days where she just didn't care if she lived through the night. And gone were the thoughts that she was worthless, that she didn't deserve to be free.

"You ready for another?"

Faith lifted her head at the sound of the bartender's voice. She glanced at the beer in front of her and nodded her head yes. Lifting the glass, she finished what was left and spun around on her stool to take a look around the bar. She was a regular here, but it's not like she came here to get drunk. On a normal night, she'd always find one or two vampires trying to blend in and she'd bait them, lead them out of the bar and she'd dust them with practiced ease. It was the only way to find them now. They'd all been running scared since word got out that there were more than two dozen slayers in town.

After Sunnydale, everyone did their own thing for a couple of months. Faith stayed in LA and helped Angel and his crew out for a while, but she felt right from the start that she needed to be somewhere else. When Giles called late that August night, she was on the plane the next day to Cleveland to help him, Wood, and a few of the slayers take out a huge nest of vampires. There had been almost a hundred of them and it was a long, nasty fight, but in the end they won and she knew then that that is where she needed to be. On a Hellmouth, fighting the good fight.

Then came Scotland. It was definitely a giant mess and yet, when Buffy had called for help in retrieving the scythe, Faith was there and she was there for far longer than she originally planned to stick around. And then she was tangled in the mess with Twilight, just like Buffy and her troops in Scotland were. Faith couldn't leave her to fight alone and she stood there like the good slayer she was, fighting it all to the end until she had nothing left in her to give.

She still couldn't think about how it ended, with Angel killing Giles and Buffy destroying the Seed. That night played over and over in her nightmares and it was just something she couldn't let go of. Despite what Angel had done, she knew she couldn't let him drown in the guilt he had over killing Giles. Angel had been there for her before and she felt it was only right that she needed to be there for him since nobody else was. Not even Buffy.

Faith stayed in London for almost a year with Angel. They had a good thing going for them for a while, but she grew bored of London, bored of her life there. Angel left it up to her whether she stayed or left. She packed up her things and left in the middle of the day without saying goodbye to Angel. She hopped on the first flight back to the US and landed in Cleveland in the middle of a wild thunderstorm. All it took was one phone call and Wood came to the airport and picked her up, no questions, no nothing other than an awkward hug to welcome her home.

She'd been there ever since, going on a year and a month, give or take. Wood still ran the slayer unit there and she was fine with letting him stay in charge. She knew that Cleveland was the only unit of slayers who had stuck together instead of disbanding like hundreds of others all over the world had. She knew how those young slayers felt. They thought that Buffy had betrayed them and in some twisted way, Faith knew they were right.

It's all in the past now and the last she heard about Buffy, she was living her own life down in San Francisco. Dawn and Xander were down there with her too from what she'd heard from Wood. Willow had been there for a while too, but she had come to London after things with her and Kennedy fell apart. After a failed attempt to restore magic and bring back Giles from the dead, she disappeared. Nobody knew where she was for the longest time and when she showed up at Faith's apartment six months ago, Faith wasn't surprised to see her at all.

Willow had been there ever since, first crashing on Faith's couch for a few weeks until Faith cleaned out the spare room for her. It wasn't something she wanted, a roommate, but it was nice not to go home to nothing and nobody sometimes. She and Willow formed this bond, one stronger than Faith ever thought she'd have with anyone. Willow proved to her that everyone can have a second chance, but she'd done that years ago when she'd brought Faith from LA to help Buffy and the others fight the First Evil.

Pulling out her wallet, she placed a twenty on the counter before finishing off her beer quickly. It was getting late and she was tired, beyond tired. She hadn't been sleeping well lately and a part of it had to do with the nightmares she'd been having of that night the whole world changed. Waving goodnight to the bartender, she pulled her jacket tight and stepped out into the cool November night.

Faith dug out the keys to her truck as she walked down the street to where she'd parked it. She hit the button on the remote to disengage the alarm and stopped when she heard slow hollow footsteps approaching her from behind. Spinning around to face whatever was stalking her, she found there was nothing there. With a heavy sigh, she climbed in her truck and headed home.

"Yo, Wil, I'm back," Faith called out as she walked through the door.

"Any luck tonight?" Willow asked from where she sat at the desk, her laptop open in front of her. Faith shook her head no, heading straight for the fridge in the small kitchen. "I was doing a little bit of research tonight. I think I know why there's a complete lack of vampires around here lately."

"Why's that?" Faith asked, joining her in the living room and sipping from a cold bottle of water. "They're still running scared? That's what it is, right?"

"Uh, no," Willow replied with a soft laugh. "Their numbers are down, so far down that they're nearly extinct and it's not just here, Faith, it's _everywhere_."

"Are we finally winning the good fight?"

"I think so, yeah."

"Wicked."

Willow smiled and closed the lid to her laptop. "Whatever we've been doing, we're doing it right. If we can find the ones that are left before they have the chance to turn any innocent civilians, we can wipe them from this world completely."

"And we'll be living it up, vamp and demon free?"

"Yep."

"So, how we gonna find the ones that are left, Wil? Cos what was working before, it ain't anymore. I haven't had a vamp in over a week," Faith replied and she stopped Willow before she can speak. "Look, it's late and I don't know about you, but I'm beat. How about we figure out all this in the morning, yeah?"

"Night, Faith."

Faith smiled and headed for her room, shutting the door behind her. Hitting the light switch, she put the bottle of water down on her dresser and easily stripped out of her clothes. Her room was modest and clean, but not as spartan as she used to live. She had belongings, more than just clothes, she had little trinkets and books, jewelry and her own personal weapons chest. The walls were mostly bare aside from the cork board hanging over the dresser that was filled with pictures and postcards.

Her life had definitely changed. She had friends who were like family to her, people who wanted to be around her and she had slayers who had left Cleveland to travel the world and cared enough to send her letters and postcards, telling her all about the things they discovered abroad. Sometimes it felt surreal having the kind of life she had now. But like everything else, she had learned to appreciate it and everyone that was in it.

Pulling on an old t-shirt three sizes too big, Faith hit the light and crawled into bed. Sleep wouldn't be coming easy and she knew that before her head even hit the pillow. She listened to the sounds of Willow moving around in the living room, shutting off the lights before making her way to her own bedroom. Sometimes she missed living alone and the quiet that came with it. But with the quiet came the loneliness and the feeling of it just being her against the world.

* * *

By morning, Faith had barely gotten a few hours of sleep and she pulled on a pair of sweat pants before walking out of her bedroom. Willow was already up and sipping a cup of herbal tea at the kitchen table, the morning paper open in front of her.

"You look like crap," Willow remarked as Faith grabbed a mug out of the cupboard and poured herself a cup of tea. "Are you still having trouble sleeping, Faith?"

"I'll live," she shrugged it off. "Anything interesting in the paper?"

"Nope," Willow replied and she flipped a few pages. "Nothing. No reports of any robberies, kidnappings or murders. Same as it's been for months."

Faith nodded and poured some milk into her mug. She kicked the fridge door shut and picked up her mug, sipping the warm tea. She leaned up against the counter and flipped on the small TV to the local news station.

"...another beautiful day in Cleveland with a slight chance of rain this afternoon. The weekend is looking like a beaut-"

"Is it just me or is the weather girl a little more perky than usual?" Willow chuckled as Faith turned the TV back off. "You sure you're feeling okay, Faith?"

"Just tired, Wil. I'm sure it'll pass and then I'll end up sleeping for like a week straight."

"How long has this been going on for?" Willow asked, sounding concerned as she stared at Faith, waiting for her to answer.

"Couple days," Faith replied. "It's no big."

"Maybe you should see a doctor?"

Faith slammed her mug down on the counter and sighed heavily. "I don't need to see a doctor. I'm _fine_."

Willow wasn't convinced and the look on her face said it all. Faith was at least grateful that Willow didn't keep pressing the issue either. Faith hated doctors and she hadn't been to one in longer than she could remember. She hated doctors and the clinic and the hospital. All of it. Besides, she didn't need a doctor just because she hadn't been sleeping well for more than just a few days. If she told Willow the truth, that it'd been happening for weeks, she'd never hear the end of it from her. She couldn't have her worrying like that.

Faith headed to her room and changed into her work-out clothes. She pulled on her running shoes and headed to the door, ready to head out on her regular morning run. Grabbing her keys, she headed out and jogged down the ten flights of stairs and took the back exit that lead to the parking lot. She stretched out, feeling a little more sore than what was normal for her. It wasn't just the lack of sleep that'd been bothering her lately, it was the aches that came out of nowhere.

Shrugging it off, she started off on her run, heading for the park a few blocks away. The morning sun was already high in the sky and it was feeling warmer than it should for November. Jogging past some of the regulars, Faith took her usual path that winded around the park and through the trees instead of out in the open. The trees provided a bit of relief from the warm morning sun and she picked up the pace, dodging the other people on the path with ease.

"Faith?" Jamie, one of the slayer's that stayed with Wood called out from behind her and she slowed down, but didn't stop. "Hey, Faith?"

"What's up, kid?"

"Can I join you?"

"If you can keep up," Faith chuckled and she picked up her pace again, leaving the young slayer behind. It didn't take her long to catch up and she ran beside Faith, keeping up with her, stride for stride.

Faith normally didn't associate with the young slayers unless she had to. That was usually during their monthly meeting's at the house and before things had slowed down, it was rare that she ran into them while out on patrol. But she knew Jamie, she'd been one of the girls she'd been sent to retrieve a few years ago. Jamie had been out of control, reckless and abusing her power to the full extent. When Faith had found her, she had just been arrested for nearly killing a college boy at a club outside of Miami. Jamie had been so much like Faith was when she was younger and she was almost proud to see how far the kid had come in a few short years. Like her, Jamie had turned her life around, but she had it easier than Faith ever did.

They jogged around the park a few times before Faith came to a stop, panting hard and trying to catch her breath. She barely managed to make it over to the nearest bench and sat down heavily. Jamie was still bustling with energy and Faith figured she was only worn out because she hadn't been sleeping much.

"Good run," Faith said roughly. "I'm done, kid."

"Old age catching up to you?" Jamie teased and Faith rolled her eyes. "Are you coming to the meeting tonight?"

"There's a meeting tonight?"

"Uh yeah," Jamie replied pointedly. "Monthly meeting you never miss, always the first Thursday of the month, remember?"

"Right. I'll be there."

"See you later, Faith."

Faith waved goodbye and took a few deep breaths before forcing herself to her feet. She felt a little unsteady, her head was spinning and she felt sick. Shaking it off, she started the walk back home, taking her time and trying to stay steady on her feet. It took her longer than it usually does to get back to her apartment and she was grateful that Willow wasn't home. She barely made it to her bed before she collapsed.

She knew something wasn't right with her, but there was no way in hell she was going to see a doctor. She was just exhausted and had pushed herself a little too much over the past couple of weeks, especially during her run with Jamie. Kicking off her shoes, she welcomed the pull of sleep. That's all she knew she needed was to get some solid sleep, without any of her nightmares haunting her and she'd be five by five in no time.

* * *

By four in the afternoon, Faith woke up feeling much more like her usual self. Although still tired, she didn't feel like she was teetering on the edge of complete and total exhaustion. The aches were mostly gone and if she didn't focus on it, she didn't feel it. After a long, hot shower, she got dressed and found Willow waiting for her in the living room.

"Are you ready to go?"

"To the meeting, right?" Faith asked and Willow nodded her head slowly. "Let's go. Are we taking your wheels or mine?"

"It's not that far," Willow replied. "And it's nice out tonight. I thought we'd walk, stop and grab a couple of pizza's to bring to the house for the girls."

"I bought 'em the last time."

Willow smiled and they headed out the door. Faith headed down to the elevator and pressed the button while Willow locked up behind her. They didn't talk much at all as they walked down to the pizza place on the corner. Faith put in the usual order and joined Willow, sitting beside her on the hard orange chairs lined up by the small window.

Faith sighed heavily, slouching in her chair as a nagging headache hit her out of nowhere. She hadn't had one in a couple of weeks and this one was no different than the last one that had blindsided her for a couple of days.

"Are you okay, Faith?"

"Five by five, Wil. Just a bitch of headache."

Willow paid for the three large pizza's once they were ready and they headed for the house a few blocks away. Faith tried to keep up with Willow even though she wasn't walking too fast. She tried to make it seem like she was fine. She'd felt fine before they left the apartment.

The house Wood lived in with a few of the younger slayers was a fairly modest brownstone, nestled in a quiet little neighborhood. Faith led the way up the front steps and walked right in. The girls were already sitting around in the living room and she placed the pizza's down on the coffee table, smiling as they dug right in. Faith headed back to the kitchen and found Willow in there talking to Wood.

"Hello, Faith," he smiled at her as she helped herself to a cold beer from the fridge. "How have you been? Willow says you haven't been feeling like yourself lately."

"I'm feeling fine, Wood," Faith replied, forcing down the urge to glare angrily at Willow for telling him that. "Hadn't been sleeping good for a few days, but after my run this morning I slept like a rock all day. I'm five by five."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, man. I'm sure."

"If there's something going on with you, something wrong-"

"Lay off me, both of you!" Faith said angrily. "There is nothing wrong with me! Fuck," she groaned and placed her untouched beer on the counter. "I'm going to duck out for a smoke. Don't wait for me to start the meeting."

"Faith-"

"What, Wil?"

"I'm just worried about you," she said softly, frowning when Faith shrugged her off. "I'm sorry, Faith. It's just that I see you every day and I know you've been lying to me. It's been going on for a lot longer than a couple of days, hasn't it?"

"Just drop it. I'm _fine_."

Faith stepped out on to the back porch and pulled out a well-worn pack of cigarettes. She hadn't smoked in a while, a few weeks at least and before that it had been months. It was a nasty habit she'd picked up in prison and during her time with Giles, she managed to quit. But every once in a while she picked it back up again, usually when she was stressed out and feeling on edge. Like tonight.

Sitting down on the back steps, she lit her cigarette with a shaky hand. The smoke burned her lungs and the nicotine coursed through her veins, making her whole body buzz in a way she hadn't felt in a long time. She welcomed that feeling and it wasn't as if she missed it, it just calmed her in ways she couldn't even describe.

Faith looked over at the bushes when she heard something moving behind them. She'd been a slayer long enough to know that it's not always a wild animal or a stray cat lurking behind bushes. Flicking her cigarette to the ground, she slowly moved towards the row of bushes that separated the small back yard from the one next door. She heard it again and she knew that there was definitely something back there.

She felt that buzz, the one she hadn't felt in weeks, not since the last vampire she lured out of that bar and dusted with ease beside the dumpster. Smiling to herself, she looked for an opening in the bushes, but there wasn't one. Using her senses, she felt the vampire out and grabbed him, yanking him through the thick bushes and threw him to the ground.

"Look what we got here," Faith chuckled as she looked down at the vampire. "Just when I thought it was going to be just another boring, uneventful night."

Faith took a step back, watching the vampire as it got to his feet. She'd stunned him pulling him out of the bushes the way she had, but he was angry and it showed all over his ugly face. Faith, full of her usual cocky demeanor when it came to slaying, licked over her lips and took the first shot, a fast and hard uppercut that clipped the vampire in the jaw and send him sprawling backwards a couple of feet.

Storming over towards the vampire, she grabbed him by the collar of his worn trench coat and pulled him to his feet. Holding him at arms length, she threw another punch, a hard right hook and let him go. All that exhaustion, the ache she'd been feeling for weeks just seemed to disappear. Maybe all she needed was a good slay. She ducked out of the way of a fury of sloppy punches the vampire threw at her and she narrowly missed the last one. Circling the vampire, she looked for an opening, for his weak spot.

Eyes wide, she watched as the vampire pulled out a short sword from the inside of his jacket and pointed it at her. To her, it didn't look like he knew how to use it, probably carried it around for show, maybe even a bit of protection from the other nasties that went bump in the night.

"Well damn, you're the type that just don't play fair, aren't ya?" Faith asked, smirking as she raised a fist, ready to strike. The vampire took a swing at her, the tip of the sword just grazing her jean jacket right by her left shoulder. "Come on, fight fair, would ya?"

"Fair?" The vampire growled, taking another swing at her, a sly smirk curling over his lips as she stood her ground.

"Yeah," She smirked. "Fair, you know? Put down the weapons, fight like a man-or rather the man you _used_ to be."

The vampire attacked her in a blinding rage and she rolled with every punch, ducked and blocked them with practiced ease. Every move the vampire threw her way she could predict it coming a mile away. Letting out a frustrated growl, the vampire threw his sword down and charged at her. Faith jumped out of the way half a second before the vampire reached her and she rolled across the ground, grabbing the sword before she leapt to her feet.

"Come on, man, give me something new, yeah? You're all the same. Same old moves, same old predictable shit. I could fight ya blinded and dust ya in a second."

"Then why don't you?"

A challenge. Faith never backed down from a challenge. Besides, it'd been weeks since she had her last slay and she wasn't about to have it end too quickly. She was being a little bit too careless, a little bit too reckless, but she _needed_ this, especially after the day she'd been having.

Using his own sword against him, she struck at him, purposely missing his throat by a hair. The anger was still there, but she could swear that in that second she almost struck him in the neck, she could see the fear flash in his eyes. Laughing, Faith twirled the sword in her hand, loving the feel of it, loving how light it felt in her hands and how it cut through the air. She'd definitely be keeping this one for her own personal collection.

Taking another swing at the vampire, she was startled when he knocked the sword clean out of her hand with just one blow. Shaking it off, she pulled out her stake from inside her jacket and charged toward him, determined now to finish this before the vampire got in another lucky blow. No vampire, especially not this one, got to best her at any given time or place.

Just as she was about to go for the kill, white hot searing pain flooded through her entire body. It was hard and fast and completely out of nowhere.

"What the fu-"

The vampire grabbed her as she let out a howling scream and threw her across the yard like she was nothing more than a rag-doll. Her body slammed hard against the shed at the far end of the yard and she groaned painfully as she tried to get to her feet. Every inch of her body felt like it was on fire, the pain completely unbearable and unlike anything she had ever felt before. She takes a swing at the vampire as he moved in to grab her and she missed, losing herself in the momentum of her swing.

Faith cried out in pain, tears streaking down her face as the vampire grabbed her clenched fist and twisted her arm around. Staggering back once the vampire let her go, she tried to take another swing at him and this time her fist collided with his face. She howled in pain, holding her swollen hand against her chest. Hitting him had felt like she'd punched a block of granite.

He's right behind her and he grabbed her before she could take more than a few steps. She can feel his razor sharp fangs and the coldness of his breath on her exposed neck as he goes in for the kill.

Gathering what strength she could, she elbowed the vampire in the face and broke free of the hold he had on her. Another flash of that searing white hot pain ripped through her and she collapsed to the ground, writhing and gasping, screaming out as she lost complete control of her own body. Her tears stain her cheeks and she reached for her stake that's laying on the ground near her, just out of her reach.

She yelled out, this time not just in pain, but in sheer determination to stake that undead asshole before he can make her his dinner. Grabbing her stake, she rolled onto her back as the vampire reached down for her. She sucked in a sharp, painful breath and thrust the stake up and into his heart, using all that she had left in her to make sure she plunged it in nice and deep.

Coughing as the vampire dust rained down on her, she curled up on the ground, shivering as the skies opened up and the rain began to fall. Faintly she could hear Willow calling her name and she and the others ran out of the house. She was fading, the pain completely unbearable.

Faith had never experienced so much pain before. It was worse than the time that Buffy had used her own knife and stuck in in her gut right before she threw herself off the roof. It was worse than the time she faced the Beast in LA and even worse than the fight she had against Angelus with a deadly amount of orpheus coursing through her veins.

The thunderous roar of the rain and the sound of Willow's voice kept her tethered to reality, kept her conscious but just barely. She could feel herself being picked up and carried inside and she wasn't sure when she had closed her eyes, but found it impossible when she had tried again and again to open them.

* * *

"Something happened to her," Willow said as she and Wood stood in the doorway of the bedroom. Faith was laid out on the bed, barely conscious. "What do you think happened to her, Robin?"

"It could've been anything. Maybe she was attacked? We all heard her scream, but it all happened so fast. By the time we got out there-"

"Attacked by what?" Willow interrupted him. "A vampire? Some kind of a demon? You know as well as I do that the activity around here has slowed right down. Why now, why tonight?"

"It's possible she was targeted, maybe caught off guard. You said earlier she hadn't been herself lately. It could have something to do with this."

"We don't even know what _this_ is!"

Robin sighed and stepped back out into the hallway, closing the bedroom door behind him. They both knew that something had happened to Faith, something big and something bad. The amount of pain she'd been in when they'd found her out in the back yard, neither of them had ever seen her like that before.

"I'm calling the doctor," Robin said quietly.

"She hates doctors."

"Dr. Jameson isn't just a normal doctor, Willow. He once worked with the coven and he might be able to tell us what happened to her tonight."

"But-"

"You know as well as I do that we need to call him. If this is something as bad as we both fear, he might be the only one who can give us some kind of an answer as to what is happening to her."

Willow frowned and looked back at the closed bedroom door. Robin was right. Faith did need a doctor and whatever had happened to her, it'd been gradually happening over the past couple of weeks right under their very noses. She knew that she should've pushed Faith a little bit harder about going to the doctor. She knew she should've convinced her that something wasn't right. It was more than just not sleeping well. So much more.

"I'm going to-I need to stay here with her, in case she comes to," Willow said quietly as Robin started to walk towards the stairs. "Uh, after you call the doctor, I think you should try to get in touch with Angel. He'll want to know that there is something happening to Faith."

"And Buffy?"

"No," Willow shook her head no. "Don't call her. Not until we know what happened to Faith tonight."

"Right, okay. Let me know when she wakes up."

Willow nodded and quietly let herself into the bedroom, Robin's bedroom, where Faith was still sleeping soundly. She pulled up the chair from the desk beside the bed, shut off all the lights but the one on the bedside table and sat down.

Even asleep-passed out and unconscious, whatever it was-Willow could see the pain and anguish written all over Faith's face. And it hurt her to see her in that state. Faith had become one of her best friends and like any of those that were close to her, she couldn't stand seeing her in so much pain and not being able to help. If there was one thing she wanted most of all was to be able to use magic again and without it, she felt helpless.

* * *

Faith groaned as she opened her eyes. The pain had subsided, but it still lingered there, rolling over her in waves. She stretched out slowly, carefully, feeling the pull in every muscle. It hurt, but definitely not near as much as it had before and she could feel just how weak her body was. It wasn't just her body, it was everything right down to her very soul.

Blinking, she looked around the room, knowing right away she wasn't in her own bed and that everything she'd gone through had been very real and not just another nightmare that she thought-hoped-it had been.

_Nothing more than wishful thinking, huh?_ Faith thought to herself and she winced as she tried to sit up in the bed. "Damn."

"Faith?" Willow said sleepily as she opened her eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," she replied honestly.

"What happened to you tonight?"

"Beats me," Faith replied with a shrug. "God damn, it hurts."

"Where does it hurt?"

"It-fuck, Wil, it hurts _everywhere_," she sighed and she laid back down, closing her eyes as she forced back the tears that threatened to fall.

Now that her head felt a little more clear, she thought back to that moment when that pain had hit her. It wasn't just pain like she'd been hit by a truck or a freight train, repeatedly. It ran deeper than that. Much deeper. It had felt like a part of her had been ripped right out from inside of her. Something from her very soul. She could feel that weakness and it overpowered her, it sucked her right in, made her feel, well nothing more than _human_.

And she knew in that moment what had happened to her. She had no idea how or why, but what happened to her tonight while she fought that nobody of a vampire, and it was bigger than just another run of the mill slay gone wrong. Something had taken her power from her, tore that slayer essence right out of her. She could feel it, or rather the absence of it now more than ever.

But how? Faith couldn't understand how something like that could've happened. The world had changed, in more ways than one. She knew about the cruciamentum, about the injections that stripped a slayer of her powers temporarily, but it wasn't that. She would've known if someone or something had been injecting her with that drug, wouldn't she? Magic was ruled out too, it just didn't _exist_ anymore. Still, it was there, that void she could feel the more the pain began to subside. That feeling of weakness, it filled her and it hurt more than everything she had just felt that night.

"I know what happened to me, Wil."

"What is it, Faith?"

Taking a deep breath, she sat up slowly, wincing as she felt every muscle, every joint in her body protest any kind of moment she made. Tears brimming in her eyes, she couldn't even look at Willow as she struggled to force the words to come out.

"Whatever happened to me tonight, Wil, I'm not a slayer. Not anymore."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes: I'll admit, I never thought some people might not be too enthusiastic about a story with a plot like this, Faith not being a slayer anymore, etc. But knowing that won't stop me! Please review and let me know what your thoughts are so far :)**

* * *

**_Chapter Two_**

Faith sat on the back steps of Wood's house, ignoring the chattering going on inside. It was almost dawn, she could still feel those first rays of sunlight tickling her skin before they even reached across the sky. For the longest time she'd thought that was a part of being a slayer, but then she remembered she could always feel it, just before dawn, just as she could when dusk was near. It wasn't just a slayer thing, it was a part of her. A part of her that could never be touched and it could never be taken from her.

She tensed when she heard the back door open and click shut a second later. She barely looked over at Jamie as she sat down on the step next to her. Jamie handed her a hot cup of coffee and let out a soft sigh.

"Hey," Jamie said quietly. "I'd ask how you're feeling, but-"

"That obvious, huh?"

"Does it hurt?"

"Less."

Faith looked over at her and just stared at her for a moment. Jamie looked much younger than eighteen with her long brown hair pulled back. She had that baby-face, one that made her look years younger, but there was a hardness in her brown eyes, the kind of hardness that only a slayer had after years of fighting the things that lurked beyond the shadows and haunted them in their dreams.

"They call in the Doc yet?" Faith asked her, taking a sip of her hot coffee and she raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Snuck a shot of whiskey in there, did ya?"

"Figured you would need it."

"And the Doc?"

"He'll be here soon," Jamie replied, lowering her eyes from Faith's pointed glare. "I hate them too. Doctors, you know? They think they know everything, but they don't know shit."

Faith nodded her head in agreement and took another sip of her coffee. She felt numb, numb in a way she had never felt before. The way she felt now, the things she was thinking, it scared her and she was trying not to let it show. She'd always been good at hiding the things she felt, masking it behind those walls she built up. It had always been easy just to shut everyone else out, make them see a side of her that really wasn't her. But Jamie was different. Faith knew that from that moment she found her in Miami, locked up in that cell, scared and alone. They were cut from the same cloth, hid behind similar walls and she couldn't hide from her no matter how hard she tried.

Jamie wasn't the only girl she'd found and brought back, either to Cleveland or elsewhere, but Jamie was the only one who was still very much in her life and understood her in ways not even Willow could. And there weren't a whole lot of people that came in and out of Faith's life that just got her, truly understood her.

"Looks like the Doc is here," Faith grumbled when she heard the doorbell ring.

"You want me to come with and hold your hand?" Jamie asked, all sass and attitude, but said with a friendly smile dancing over her lips. "It'll be fine, Faith. Heard the other's talking. He is just going to check you over, make sure it's nothing serious."

"Yeah, yeah."

Faith rose to her feet and headed back inside, sipping her coffee as she walked into the kitchen. Dr. Jameson had been a part of the Cleveland crew since they had got there. All Faith knew about him was that he had very close ties to the coven in England, or he did before the whole world changed. She'd seen him around plenty of times. He was their go to doctor when one of the girls seriously got hurt out on patrol and refused to go to a hospital to get stitched up.

"Alright, Doc, let's find out what's wrong with me and fix it."

* * *

Faith sat on the rooftop of the apartment building, watching the sun as it set. It'd been a long day and it had felt even longer than it'd been. She's exhausted and knows she needs to get some sleep, but she has got far too much on her mind to even think of sleeping yet.

The doctor had spent five grueling hours with her, putting her through a series of tests both traditional and non-traditional. She was poked and probed and given a complete physical in Wood's kitchen while Willow looked on. The doctor put her through a bunch of strength tests, all of which she had failed and she knew she had before he even told her. The questions he continuously asked her, she could've done without and she nearly walked out of there a few times, staying only because Willow practically pleaded with her to.

In the end, the doctor told her what she had already feared. Her slayer essence, the thing inside of her that made her a slayer, the part of her soul that she never thought would be so easily stripped from her, was gone. The only thing the doctor couldn't tell her was how or why it happened or how she could get it back. And that was the part the bugged her the most, knowing what happened to her, but not why or how it had happened. And why did it just happen to her when there were all these other slayers all over the world? What made her so damn special?

In a world without magic, something like this should've been impossible. Should've been, but it happened to her and it wasn't just another nightmare that kept her up at night. And what was killing her was thinking that if she wasn't a slayer, who was she really?

Giving up on being alone with her thoughts, she headed back inside. She found Willow sitting at the desk with her laptop open and sipping a cup of her herbal tea. Faith headed straight for the bedroom and opened up her weapon's chest. She grabbed a few stakes, sheathed one of her favorite daggers inside her left boot and placed another in the back of her belt, concealed by her jacket. She marched out of the bedroom, fully prepared and determined to go out there tonight and hunt down and kill whatever or whoever had done this to her.

"I don't think it'll be a good idea for you to go out on patrol tonight," Willow said quietly, moving to stand between Faith and the door.

"Why, cos I'm all weak and helpless now?"

"Yes."

Faith growled and stood down. A part of her knew that Willow was right, that it wasn't a good idea to go out on patrol, but it was something she had always done, day in and day out. Yet another part of her still craved the hunt, the slay. Facing that vampire had stirred something up inside of her, something that just didn't go away, slayer or not. It was who she _was_ and nothing was going to change that fact.

"Whatever," She scoffed. "I might be weak, but I still have moves and I can use a weapon with or without slayer powers. Weaker than I used to be, that I'll admit, but I'm anything_ but_ helpless, Wil."

"Just do me one favor, Faith?. Keep a low profile, just for tonight."

"Sure, I'll just head down to the bar-"

"Faith-"

"Have a few drinks. Shoot shit with the regulars and have a few laughs-"

"Faith."

"What?"

"Just promise me you'll stay in tonight? One night in isn't going to kill you."

"Yeah, whatever, Wil."

* * *

Faith strolled through the doors of the small bar-a different bar than the night before-and walked across the floor like she owned the place. A few of the regulars greet her by name and she sat down on a stool at the far end of the bar, the one spot that gave her the best vantage point of the entire place. She tapped on the counter to get the owner's attention and he looked over at her, smiling as he wiped his hands with a rag.

"Faith, how have you been?" Felix asked her, immediately grabbing a bottle of Budweiser for her out of the fridge behind him. "Been a while since you've come around."

"Like to change the scenery once in awhile," she chuckled, taking the offered beer from him and took a swig. "Things been quiet here?"

"Very quiet. No problems."

Faith nodded and Felix walked over to another customer that sat down a few stools away from her. At the beginning of summer, Faith had cleaned Felix's bar out. It had been crawling with vampires and had been that way almost every night for a month. After she and the younger slayers raided the place that night, she'd come and check in on Felix every couple of weeks, make sure no other nasties were coming around. It wasn't just Felix's place she'd done that favor for, there were others.

Sighing, she turned her attention to the door, watching as an old man with a cane hobbled in. She'd seen him there before, always alone and he always ordered whatever finest, oldest Scotch that Felix had on hand and he'd always left once he'd finished, paying Felix twice what the drink was worth.

There wasn't anyone out of place or out of the ordinary, but she knew as well as anyone that vampires could blend in easily with the rest of the human population if they tried and we're dumb as rocks. She hated not being able to sense them before she spotted them and that new feeling reminded her-for the millionth time that day-that she was nothing more than a human. No super strength, speed and skill, absolutely no slayer healing. None of it.

Willow had gone to Wood's place to research what could have done this to Faith, what could've taken her slayer essence from her. If she hadn't left, Faith wouldn't have been able to duck out to the bar for a few cold beers. She had to get out of there. The walls were starting to feel like they were closing in on her. Besides, it wasn't like she was out there patrolling or looking for trouble. All she wanted was a few cold beers. Maybe a shot of whiskey or two.

Motioning over to Felix, she sipped her beer and looked over at the old man again. He was staring at her and for that brief second their eyes met before she looked away, he smiled at her in a way that creeped her right out. How, she just couldn't put her finger on it, but it just didn't make her feel right at all. Sure, plenty of men of all ages hit on her randomly, especially in bars like Felix's, but none of them had ever made her feel creeped out like that.

"Who is that man?" Faith asked Felix quietly. "Do you know who he is?"

"Not sure," he replied with a shrug, keeping his voice low. "Comes in every so often. In fact, I haven't seen him since the last time you were in here."

"Oh."

"Something I should be worried about?"

"No, no, I was just curious, you know me."

It hit her once Felix had walked away, what he had said about the old man having not came in there since the last time she'd been there. That was odd. Was she being stalked by a creepy old man with a cane who had a taste for strong, old Scotch and paid twice the price for one drink?

Laughing it off, she finished up her beer and Felix brought her another before she could place her bottle down. Thanking him, she turned her attention back to the other patrons in the bar, watching each of them closely and looking for signs-even just one-of something that was out of the ordinary and not quite right. Even if she did find a vampire, there was nothing she could do about it. She could try to fight it, but it was a risk, a high risk and she didn't have a death wish.

By the end of her second beer, she was already feeling the slight buzz that it used to take more than a handful of beers to feel before. Slipping out a twenty, she left it on the bar and headed for the door. The night air was brisk and cool as she stepped out into the street and she zipped up her jacket, sighing heavily as she started the walk home and silently wished she'd driven instead of walked there earlier.

Faith headed in the direction of her apartment, avoiding walking through the crowd of teenagers and college students lined up in front of a trendy dance club. She walked past every alleyway entrance quickly too, hoping that if there was anything out there that went bump in the night, she'd be able to avoid it completely that way.

"Faith?" A tiny whimper came from behind a dumpster in the alleyway she passed. She stopped and looked back. "Faith, is that you?"

Faith recognized her voice. It was Carla, one of the girls who normally patrolled with Jamie and the others at Wood's place. She walked into the alleyway and found her curled up on the ground beside the dumpster and leaning against the wall. She was covered in dirt, her clothing torn up and Faith could see the scratches on her exposed skin and the blood that slowly trickled out from each of them.

"Jesus, C, what the hell happened to you?" Faith asked softly, noticing her face was dirty and streaked with tears.

"Something happened. I was out with the girls tonight and something attacked us."

"What attacked you? A demon?"

Carla shrugged and she tried to stand up. Faith moved to help her and she could barely stand on her own two feet. Faith looked around the dark alley to make sure they were the only ones there. Aside from a stray cat that stared at them from the far end, there was nothing else there.

"I just came back tonight," Carla said and Faith nodded, remembering that she hadn't seen her at Wood's place earlier. "I-I don't understand. It came out of nowhere, Faith. I was out here with Jamie and she was telling me what had happened to you and then it-it-I don't know how it happened, but two vamps came out of nowhere and started attacking us before it hit us out of nowhere."

"What hit you?"

"It's gone," Carla murmured under her breath, shakily leaning against the wall. "You're not the only one it's happened to."

"Who else was with you other than Jamie?"

"Amelia, but she's-she collapsed when it hit us and the vamps they-they took her."

"And Jamie?" Faith asked, growing more and more worried by the second that this was a lot bigger of a situation than any of them had thought. "Where is she?"

"I-I don't know!"

"Find her and go home where it's safe-"

"But Faith-"

"Go home _now_, Carla."

Carla barely managed to push herself off the wall, the pain she was experiencing evident in every step that she took. Before she exited the alleyway, she turned to look back at Faith, new tears rolling down her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around herself.

Faith could see everything she was feeling in her eyes alone. Fear, emptiness, helplessness, anger, pain. Every emotion that Faith had felt while it happened to her and after was exactly what Carla was feeling. Carla looked younger than her sixteen years and Faith could feel her heart breaking over the sight of her. And she could feel the anger, the determination to find out what the hell was going on and fix it.

After she searched the alley where she found Carla, she found Amelia's body. Careful not to disturb the scene, she checked for her vitals, but with the multiple sets of deep puncture wounds all over her neck and the lack of blood pooled around her, she knew that she was long gone, the vampires that drained her drained her dry and left her there to rot. They normally took care of their own, even had a whole policy and set of rules when it came to a fallen fellow slayer, but the rules have changed since the game did a long time ago.

Faith cursed under her breath when she realized she'd left her cell at home. She quickly retreated out of the alley and spotted a lone pay phone just up the street. She dug through her pockets as she jogged towards it and pulled out a quarter. She knew she should be calling the cops, submitting and anonymous tip, but she couldn't do that yet. She had to call Wood and tell him what had happened to Carla, Jamie and Amelia tonight and then she'd do whatever she had to do after she had talked to him.

The phone call was brief, very little words said between the two of them. Wood ended the call, telling her to get home and stay there for the rest of the night, that it wasn't safe out there for her if three of his best slayers had been attacked so easily. Faith hung up the phone and stared at it for what felt like hours, but really was only a minute or two. She took a deep breath and continued on home, hands in her pockets and her head hung low.

A block away from her apartment, she had that feeling that she was being followed. She turned subtly to look behind her and there were just a few people walking down the street, some in the same direction, some going the other way. Then she saw him, the old man from the bar and he was headed straight for her, walking a little faster than a man with a cane should be able to. She turned and kept walking, cutting through a dark, nearly empty parking lot and headed through the construction site that was next to her building.

Faith came to a stop when she reached a chain-link fence that hadn't been there that morning. She was trapped and the old man was quickly catching up to her, the cane gone. She backed up against the fence and took a few deep breaths. Was she seriously scared of this guy? This old man who seemed to be frail and harmless?

"Hello, Faith."

"Do I know you?" Faith asked him and he chuckled, shaking his head no. "Look man, whatever it is you want-"

"Oh, I already have what I want from you," he drawled, the tone of his voice changing and sending chills down her spine. "I find it a pity that you're, how did you put it," he smirked at her as he took a step closer to her. "Weak and helpless now."

Faith gulped. The words that came out of his mouth were not in his voice, but in hers. He moved in quickly, his bony hands wrapping around her neck and he pinned her against the fence with strength that seemed to be impossible for a man his age and size.

"Whatever game you're playing at, I'm really not in the mood to be molested by an old man tonight."

"Watch yourself, Faith," he said calmly. "You don't know who I am, do you?"

"A lunatic?"

Faith sized him up and she felt the grip he had on her loosening. She thought for a moment how she could probably take him, kick his ass for getting in her personal space like that. Slayer or not, she knew she still had moves and she was still strong enough to defend herself. It could be the wrong thing to do too and she wasn't about to make a mistake that could cost her her life.

"Appearances are deceiving, aren't they, Faith?"

"How do you even know my name? I don't recall telling you it."

He laughed and took a step back and before she could make a move, he shook a finger at her and clicked his tongue. "I wouldn't if I were you," he said lowly and she tilted her head to the side, watching as he transformed from an old man into a demon right before her very eyes.

_Well, things just got a helluva lot more interesting._

Faith swallowed her fear as she stared at the large demon in front of her. He pulled what was left of the shredded pieces of clothing from his body with his long, claw-like hands. The demon is nearly eight feet tall with black, scaly skin that's covered by some kind of shell armor. She can feel herself shaking as she looked up into the demon's eyes. They glowed a soft red, like the flame of a candle, and when he smiled at her-if you could call it that-he revealed a set of razor-sharp fangs, top and bottom.

"Damn, you're an ugly son of a bitch," Faith chuckled and she leaned more up against the fence as he took a step towards her. "Anyone ever tell you that?"

"No," he growled and he leaned down until they're face to face. "You truly have no idea who I am, do you, Faith?"

"I'm gonna go with ugly ass demon."

"You truly have a death wish, don't you?"

"Not anymore."

The way he laughed makes her feel sick. The sound of the demon's voice chilled her to the very core. Every inch of her body was begging her to run, but she isn't stupid enough to pull a move like that. She knew that if she tried, she wouldn't get very far, not with a demon this size this close to her. Running isn't an option and neither is staying, but she knew she didn't have much of a choice.

"I've been waiting a long time to face you and all the other slayers in this world," he drawled and he reached out with his right hand, his fingers long with sharp looking nails she didn't want get too friendly with. "Perhaps I should show you instead of telling you. Your language has been a hard one to master."

Faith closed her eyes as he pressed his palm to her forehead. In an instant she felt blinding hot pain searing through her head. She tried to push the demon away, but he was far too strong for her. Struggling, the pain started to subside and then she saw it, faint images flashing through her mind like memories that weren't hers.

She saw girls, young slayers, being attacked. Some by a group of vampires if there were more than three of them, some just by one lonely vampire. And then it happened, the same thing that had happened to her while she'd been fighting that vampire in Wood's backyard. The images flashed quickly, parts fading in and out like there were pieces missing. The more girls she saw, the angrier she was that this demon had done this to them.

She saw a lot of young slayers that she had known personally over the years, including the ones there in Cleveland. She even saw Kennedy, who was alone and in what looked like New York City and the end result had her lying face down in a ditch, dirty and writhing in pain. And then she saw herself, fighting that vampire and she could feel the pain all over again as she watched it happen. More flashes flickered by showing more girls, some of which she'd never seen before.

Everything faded to black and she could just faintly hear the sounds of the city around her. She couldn't open her eyes and the demon still had his hand pressed hard to her forehead. She felt sick as a faint blue light appeared in the blackness, wispy white smoke circling around and around a tiny orb where the light was coming from. She can hear the screams, faintly as the smoke disappeared inside the orb. She doesn't know how she knows it, but she knew that whatever that thing was, it was trapping the slayer essence of every slayer that it had been taken from.

Tears stung her eyes as she forced them open and the demon stepped back, chuckling sinisterly. She blinked and gasped for air and as her eyes became clear, what she saw in front of her was no longer the demon and it wasn't the old man who he had appeared to her at first either. Instead stood in front of her was a different man, the eyes still the same, dark with the faintest of red in their depths.

"Who are you?" Faith asked quietly. "What are you?"

"I am Azri'el, Lord Commander of the First Evil."

She laughed. "Buddy, we killed the First years ago."

"The First has lain dormant since that unfortunate incident in Sunnydale. As His Lord Commander, I've found a way to come here. It proved to be with much difficulty since your world has had the Seed destroyed."

Faith sucked in a deep breath as he stepped toward her. She stared at him, memorizing every detail of his face. He appeared to be a man, early thirties with jet black hair and striking features and perfect white teeth when he smiled. If she didn't know who and what he was, she would've thought of him as a sexy, handsome man with the perfect body and charm to go along with it. The kind of man she would've hooked up with-that was if she still did things like that.

"I am, what you may say, picking up where everything left off," he said with a grin. "My Master was not pleased to be forced back into the deepest depths of Hell after He had spent many centuries trying to escape. His wishes for the slayer line to be destroyed will very much become a reality."

"Why not just kill us all?"

"That would be entirely too easy," Azri'el chuckled and he reached out for her. He chuckled again when she flinched at the soft touch of his hand to her cheek. "This way is much more fun if I say so myself and believe me when I say this, Faith, it's been a very, very long time since I've had some fun. I'll be seeing you, Faith. You can surely run, but you will never be able to hide."

Faith watched as he disappeared into thin air right in front of her. She closed her eyes, not moving from where she stood against the chain-link fence. She had a lot of questions, ones that she knew she wasn't going to find the answers to if she stayed there. What bothered her the most was _how_ something like that was even possible in a world without magic.

Her head was pounding, the things she'd been shown still fresh in her mind and every time she closed her eyes, she saw it all over again. The one thing she realized this time around was the fact that she had not seen Buffy at all. Had Azri'el not gone to her to strip her of her slayer essence or was Faith just mistaken and had missed seeing Buffy in the flurry of images that she'd been shown.

Faith shook her head and headed to the street where the fence ended. She headed to her apartment quickly and found the apartment empty and quiet. She walked into the bathroom and flipped on the light, her reflection in the mirror showing how distraught she looked and felt. Turning on the tap, she splashed a handful of cold water over her face and blindly reached for the towel beside her.

Now she knew she was never the brains when it came to figuring a lot of stuff out. She was a slayer and that's what she did, slayed things. Research and knowing the how's and the what's were left in Willow's hands, Wood's as well. But even she knew that was she saw tonight, the demon she met and the things she'd seen happen inside her head and out, those things just weren't possible in a world without magic.

"Faith? Are you home?" Willow called out and Faith shut the tap off, shaking her head.

"Yeah," she replied and she walked out of the bathroom, hitting the light off as she walked out. "Hey."

Willow placed her jacket down over the back of the chair in the kitchen and stared at her long and hard. Faith headed for the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water.

"You were out tonight," Willow said softly and Faith nodded her head. "After you promised me you'd stay in."

"What can I say? I'm a shitty liar."

"Faith-"

"I had to get outta here for a bit. The walls felt like they were closing in on me, you know?" Faith sighed and twisted the cap off the bottle and took a sip. "I'm fine, if you're worried if I'm hurt or something."

"But Amelia isn't fine, is she?"

"Nothing I could've done about that. Look, Wil, something happened to me tonight. Before you get all pissed at me for lying to you earlier, just hear me out, okay? We're in a mess, a huge fucking mess and we've got to figure out what to do to stop this."

Willow didn't say a word, just nodded her head and sat down at the kitchen table. Faith told her what had happened to her, from the old man in the bar, to finding Carla in the alleyway and to what happened when the old man came to her and changed into a demon. It all seemed to come out in one breath, like it took only seconds to tell her what had happened instead of minutes. When she stopped talking, Willow was only staring at her, her mouth open and her mind racing, no doubt.

"He told me I could run, but I couldn't hide. What the hell did he mean by that, Wil?" Faith asked her and she started pacing the kitchen floor. "Did he threaten me?"

"I think he challenged you to run from this, from him. But, I'm not so sure that's a good idea right now. It could be a test, a part of a sick game this demon is playing, not just with you but all the other slayers out there."

"The thing is," Faith sighed and she leaned up against the counter. "This demon, he was powerful. Not just strength wise, but he used _magic_. You and I both know that it doesn't exist in this world anymore."

"Just a sliver," Willow replied quietly. "There's just a sliver of it left, not enough to grasp, unfortunately. I've tried. Countless of times and nothing. Faith, this demon, this is a real threat to all of us. If this demon is who he claims to be, we could be in real big trouble. Bigger than big."

Faith knew they were already deep into this situation and the only thing that was left to do was figure out how to make this problem go away. It wouldn't be easy. She didn't have her strength, her power and there was no way she could fight Azri'el alone.

"I don't know where to start," Willow said after a few minutes of heavy silence. "If he is connected to the First Evil-we're in the dark. We barely even knew anything about the First when we were up against it in Sunnydale."

"Great."

"Look, I'll call the coven in England, let them know what's happening and see if they can help in some way. You get some sleep, okay? You look like-"

"Complete shit? Yeah, I know."

"Get some sleep, okay? I'll-we'll figure this out. Oh, and that orb thingy he showed you?"

"Blue, about this big," Faith replied, demonstrating with an apple she picked up out of the fruit bowl. "Smoke flowing in and becoming trapped, complete with screaming voices, mine included."

"But what did it-"

"You want me to draw it for you, cos I can try, but my drawing skills are pretty limited to stick figures and doodles."

"As I remember from the time you completely destroyed the-"

"Whatever, Wil. My mistake. Didn't realize that book was what, a thousand years old?"

"Twelve hundred years old. If Giles was-"

"But he's not."

Giles was still a sore subject between them. Rarely was he ever brought up and when one of them slipped and mentioned him, things got a little more than tense. Faith headed for her room, not even saying goodnight to Willow as she stormed out of the kitchen. Slamming her door shut behind her, she took a few deep breaths before walking over to her window and opening it wide.

She stared out the window and down at the street below, watching those few people walking down the sidewalk without a care in the world, unaware of the things that very possibly could lurk behind any corner, waiting for that right moment to strike, to grab them and kill them. Although vampires and demons hadn't been entirely active as of late, she knew they were still out there, hiding from her and the other slayers. But she knew that as soon as the word got out that the slayers were now stripped of their powers, they would be coming out in droves, causing chaos and panic all of the city in no time. It killed her just thinking about it, just knowing that if-when that happened, there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

Faith groaned loudly as she slammed her hands down on the windowsill. She was frustrated, angry, and the feeling of being helpless, worthless was hanging heavy over her head. Though similar feelings were familiar to her, feeling helpless wasn't one of them. Even in the worst of times in the darkest moments of her life, she had felt everything but helpless.

"Fuck," Faith muttered under her breath. "Can't just catch a break, can I?"

"Not always, but the chance is there to take."

"Angel?" Faith said as she turned around and smiled when she saw Angel standing by the doorway of her bedroom. "What are you doing here?"

"Got a call yesterday. Thought I better come by, check in."

"Wood called you?" Faith asked and Angel nodded. "Figured. Bet he called Buffy too."

"Called me first actually. He mentioned calling Buffy, but I told him to hold off on that until we figured out what is going on here first."

Faith laughed and shook her head. "You're really here, aren't you?"

"What, no hug?" Angel asked, a smirk curling over his lips as Faith moved in to give him a hug. "How are you feeling?"

"Not enough words-or the right ones at least-that can sum that one up."

"I know the feeling. So to speak."

Faith hadn't seen Angel since she left London, but as always he hadn't changed. He was still the same old Angel and if there was one constant in her life that she could depend on, it was him. With him being there, a surprise in itself, she had felt a sense of comfort as soon as she had heard his voice.

Faith settled on her bed while Angel leaned against her dresser. They talked, not about what had happened to her, but about what they had been doing since the last time they had seen each other. They talked as if there was nothing bad happening, that they weren't in the middle of a situation that they had no idea how to stop or fix. And just for those moments they talked, like old friends catching up, Faith forgot the pain she had felt and the emptiness that filled her inside.

But it wasn't long before the tables turned and the conversation became heavier, more serious and Angel began asking her questions about what had happened to her, the things she had felt, seen, even heard. She told him about Azri'el and he focused on that, asking her for every detail of her encounter with the shapeshifting demon. He was looking for a connection between the demon and the vampire that had been stalking her in Wood's backyard.

Everything was connected, Faith knew that much. The more she thought about the connection between the vampire she had found in Wood's backyard and the sudden loss of her slayer essence, the more she realized that this vampire had been a distraction, just as the other ones had when they hunted down and fought the other slayers during that moment that changed everything.

They had a lot of work to do and Faith was more than determined to fix this, to become what she was before, because if she wasn't a slayer, then who was she, really?


	3. Chapter 3

******Author's Notes:** I just want to say right now I'm really excited in where this fic is going...my muse continues to surprise me and I promise you guys, that through all the drama, the angst and everything in between, it'll be worth it in the end *fingers crossed*

* * *

**_Chapter Three_**

The roof had always been her escape, another world when all she needed was to be alone to clear her head of the hundreds of thoughts that plagued her. Consumed her. The voices faded when she was up there, faded just to a faint whisper, but it was better than hearing them screaming at her every single second.

The sun had yet to rise, but she could almost feel it like she used to be able to. It was coming, the start of a new day, but already the days were blurred together for her and it didn't matter if she slept or not. Everything felt heavier than normal and the burden she'd always had lying on her shoulders was still very much there. It didn't matter if she was a slayer or not, whether she had that power cursing through her veins, she still thought like a slayer and she still wanted to go out there and fight, like a slayer.

Faith knew that she had to stay calm, keep her inner cool and not lose herself completely to the weak and helplessness that filled her. She couldn't lose herself, she had done that once before and even now she didn't want to think of the consequences that had followed. That was in the past, a part of her life she kept away, but had learned from and grown into a better person because she had accepted her mistakes and moved on.

_"You can surely run, but you will never be able to hide."_

She heard his voice over the others in her head over and over again, that line specifically. He had threatened her. Challenged her. He wanted her to run, but why? Just so he could hunt her down and kill her? It was all just a sick game to him, but Faith knew that whether she went on the run or stayed, he would find her and put an end to her life, snuffing her out like she was nothing more than just flame on the wick of a candle.

It had only been an entire day since she'd been stripped of her slayer essence, but to her it felt like it had been longer. In the days leading up to that moment, she hadn't been feeling like herself. Headaches came and went, the body aches and pains that were always there, getting worse as the days had progressed. Faith hadn't thought much about any of it while it had been happening, she just blamed it on lack of sleep and the entire lack of activity when she was out on patrol. But now that she looked back on it, it all just lead up to the other night and the unfortunate incident between her and that vampire she should've been able to fight with ease.

"Hey," Angel said from where he lingered in the doorway. "Thought I'd find you up here."

"Sun is about to come up and-"

"I know," he cut her off. "I was just worried about you."

"I needed to be alone for a little while."

Angel nodded, understanding more than what she had just said. They were a lot alike, they'd both found that out in those weeks after Giles' death, those weeks where he had been on the brink of losing his sanity, those weeks that she was there for him when nobody else was. The time they'd spent together in London, fighting the good fight there, it had given them time to bond and that bond ran deep and it hadn't been severed in the year that had passed between them.

Faith loved Angel like a brother, a father, a friend. That was what he was to her and she knew that he loved her too. And now she was questioning whether she had made the right choice in leaving London to come to Cleveland. Would any of this had happened if she had stayed in London with Angel? She knew she couldn't think that. This would've happened to her no matter where she had chosen to call home. Nothing would've stopped Azri'el from finding her, from stripping her of her slayer essence just as he had been doing to all the others all around the world.

"Did you talk to her yet?" Faith asked him, knowing that he had been trying to get in touch with Buffy earlier. Angel nodded his head slowly. "What'd she say?"

"Not too much. She listened mostly."

"And she's okay?"

"For now."

Faith nodded and followed Angel inside. They walked the flight down to the top floor and headed for the elevator. She hadn't thought too much about Buffy, about whether she'd been stripped of her slayer essence as well. She knew she hadn't been though, from the visions that Azri'el had shown her. She had been the one who told Angel that calling her was a bad idea, but Willow had stepped in, telling her that despite that Buffy was off doing her own thing, living her own life in San Francisco, she still needed to know what was happening to the slayers around the world.

It was then that Faith had escaped to the roof and she had tried hard not to let those thoughts invade her mind along with all the rest of them. The last time she had seen Buffy was at the reading of Giles' will and then afterwards when they were in Giles' apartment and she had given the book to her that he had left her-the only thing that he had left her. They exchanged a few words and the bitterness that Buffy felt was clear as day to Faith. And she was pissed, she didn't even have to say it, but she was pissed that Faith got everything and all she got was a stupid book.

Shaking those unwelcome memories from her mind, Faith led the way back into the apartment and found Willow sitting on the couch, a dozen books open on the coffee table in front of her, her laptop sitting on the couch beside her and a cup of her herbal tea in her hands. She hadn't slept all night, none of them had and she looked every bit as exhausted as she probably felt.

It took some convincing from Angel to get Faith to give up on staying awake and head to bed. She trudged to her bedroom and peeled off her clothes. She was still sore from that fight with that vampire and her neck had bruises where Azri'el had grabbed her. She barely managed to make it to her bed before she collapsed, succumbing to the pull of sleep before her head even hit the pillow.

* * *

Faith slept most of the day and by now her entire sleeping pattern had been completely thrown off. For two days she's slept throughout the day and was awake all night-like she was some kind of a vampire. She grabbed her robe off the back of her door, slipping it on before she walked out and headed straight for the bathroom to shower. She ignored Angel and Willow's greetings, not in any mood just yet to deal with them, or anyone for that matter.

The water was hot which meant it was perfect for her. She let the bathroom steam up before she stepped under the hot spray of water. It made her skin red almost instantly, but it relaxed her. After standing under the hot water for a minute or two, she turned the tap on the cold water and made the temperature milder. It was the same ritual she'd been doing since after she escaped from prison to help Angel. She never thought about it, thought about why she put herself through the torture of such hot water, even if just for a minute.

After a long shower, she headed back to her room and got dressed, taking her time and drowning out the sound of Willow and Angel's voice in the living room by cranking the radio right up. It didn't take Willow very long to come into her room and shut the radio off abruptly, her resolve face firmly in place when Faith spun around to face her.

"What?" Faith muttered and she pulled on her favorite pair of boots.

"Is that really necessary?"

"What?"

"Your attitude, Faith."

Faith rolled her eyes and walked past Willow out of her bedroom. Angel was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping his dinner from an old mug. He nodded at her as she went straight for the fridge and pulled out the jug of orange juice. Skipping the glass, she drank straight from the jug and stopped when Willow walked in, her resolve face still firmly in place. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she put the jug back in the fridge and crossed her arms over her chest.

"What's the what? You guys find anything out while I was sawing logs or are we still where we were before Angel made me go to bed like I'm five fucking years old?"

"Cranky this evening, Faith?" Angel asked, his voice dripping with mild amusement.

"I don't think cranky begins to describe it," Willow said softly. "Faith, are you okay?"

"Jesus, all anyone has been doing for the last couple of days is asking me if I'm okay? Are you okay, Faith? Are you fine, Faith? How are you feeling, Faith?" Faith yelled, her frustration already having been tipped over the boiling point. "I'm god damn pissed off is what I'm feeling, if it ain't fucking obvious!"

"Faith-"

"Leave me alone, Wil!" She snapped, pushing Willow away from her when she tried to reach out for her.

She took a few deep breaths, trying to shake the anger bubbling inside of her. Willow and Angel didn't deserve having her go off on them like that. Didn't matter what she was feeling or the fact that all the frustration and anger was beginning to surface. They didn't deserve that.

Without saying a word, Faith grabbed her keys and stormed out of the apartment. The building had a work-out room in the basement and she spent a lot of time down there since she had moved in. It was one of the reasons she had chosen the building, the convenience of having a space to work out, train without having to find a gym and pay membership fees.

As usual, the room was empty and she grabbed the tape and gloves out of her locker. She meticulously wrapped her hands with the tape and slipped the gloves on before moving to the heavy bag-the only one in the small room. She tapped the bag a few times, lightly. It barely budged. She threw a few hits at it, feeling the impact in her hands and arms. She found a rhythm after a couple of minutes and released her anger and frustration out on the bag, quickly working up a sweat as she focused her energy on the timing of her hits.

In the six months since Willow had moved in with her, Willow had become one of those people who knew her probably better than she knew herself, just like Angel did. At the end of the day, Willow had become more than just her roommate, she'd become one of her best friends and for her to have blown up at her like that, at both of them, it was uncalled for and she felt guilty. She'd have to apologize once she cooled down, got her anger in check, and she'd have to make it up to Willow somehow, maybe go with her to that club she had been begging Faith to go with her to for the last couple of months.

"Hey," Angel said as he walked into the room. Faith cast a quick glance over at him before turning back to the bag. "I can see why you picked this place."

"Works for me. Might not be much, but the place is usually empty."

"How's it feel?" Angel asked and she stopped throwing punches at the bag. "Hitting it without-"

"I feel it more," she replied, knowing what he was asking her. "First couple of hits were kind of painful, jarring. Used to it now."

Faith pulled off the gloves but kept the tape on and she sat down on the wooden bench by the row of lockers. Angel walked around the room, checking out some of the equipment before he sat down next to Faith.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled under her breath.

"For what?"

"Blowing up like that."

"Faith, neither of us can understand what you're feeling right now. It's only natural that your frustration would reach the tipping point eventually."

"How long you sticking around for?"

"For however long I need to be."

Faith sighed heavily. She knew that Angel hadn't just come there to check in on her, he was there to protect her, fight for her because she couldn't protect herself. She could feel that anger bubbling up again, but she didn't let it throttle her the way it normally did. This was Angel and she knew if he was planning to stay there to protect her, that it meant she had a better chance at surviving if anything attacked her.

"You know I'm only here because I'm worried about you."

"Why, cos I'm all weak and helpless now?" Faith replied with a roll of her eyes. "I know you are, Angel. Appreciate you flying over here to protect my fine, sexy ass."

"I told you before you left that I'll always be there for you when you need me, even if it's not you calling for help," he smiled at her and she bumped her shoulder into his. "Are you going to stay down here for a while?"

"Yeah, still got some frustration to work out."

Angel nodded and left her down there alone. She pulled the gloves back on and headed back to the bag, quickly picking up the rhythm she had down before Angel had came in. But she felt different, better, the anger gone almost completely and the frustration flowing out of her easily now that she had that little talk with Angel. He was always good at that, bringing her back down the way he did. It made her remember those times he came to visit her in prison, especially in those first few months and the talks that they had that helped her get her shit together, so to speak. Sometimes he didn't even need to say anything, just being there was enough.

Faith was glad he was back, indefinitely at that. At least she could feel a little safer with him there in case things got worse. Angel was the only one any of them had that would give them a chance to survive any kind of an attack, that is if he didn't get himself dusted in the process, but Faith couldn't think of things like that.

Finishing up her work-out, she headed back up to the apartment and went straight for the fridge to grab a cold bottle of water. Willow wasn't there, but Angel was and he was going through some old texts at the desk. Faith picked up a few pieces of paper with Willow's handwriting on them, but she could barely read the rushed scrawl Willow wrote in when she was in a hurry to get things written down.

"Hey, where'd Wil go?" Faith asked Angel as she leaned against the edge of the desk.

"To pick up a few things from Wood's place. She should be back soon."

"You let her go alone?"

"I insisted to let her escort me, but she told me she was a big girl and that she could handle herself," Angel replied and he peered up at her over the rim of his unnecessary reading glasses. "I have to say, your influence has really rubbed off on her."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"She was always strong, always fearless in a way, but her confidence has risen. I didn't think I'd see her get that back after she lost her own power."

"Right," Faith nodded and then it hit her. She was being such an ass to Willow for absolutely no reason. If anyone other than a slayer would understand what it was like to suddenly feel powerless, it was Willow. "Man, I'm such an asshole."

"Just figured it out?"

"Shut up, Angel," Faith replied, chuckling softly. "A lot has happened in the past couple of days and I-I didn't even think about that."

Angel reached out and patted her on the arm. "She'll forgive you, you know that. She's been working tirelessly trying to find some answers, trying to find solutions."

"Still coming up with nada?"

"Unfortunately. Like the First, it wasn't easy to come by any kind of information and it's proving to be the same when it comes to Azri'el."

"You know," Faith sighed and she took a healthy sip of her water. "He told me I can run, but that I could never hide. What's your take on that, Angel?"

Angel scratched his head and removed his reading glasses slowly. "I think you should stay put for the time being, Faith. We don't know what it is we're up against and if you go on the run, things could get very bad very quickly."

"The funny thing?"

"There's a funny thing?"

"Before any of this happened, we thought we were finally winning the good fight," Faith laughed bitterly. "Guess we started counting our chickens before they hatched."

"You're wrong," Angel said as he rose to his feet. "You _were_ winning, you still are. The numbers are low, lower than it's ever been in almost three thousand years, Faith. In the last year alone-"

"But it doesn't matter now, does it? Slayers are being ripped of their essence everywhere and that gives _them_ the advantage, the freedom to recreate their kind again. With no slayers to fight them, to kill them, who is going to keep things under control? Huh? You?"

Angel stayed silent and it enraged Faith. She'd just gotten her anger under control and now it was back with a vengeance. Faith shook her head and laughed bitterly as she headed out to the small balcony just off the kitchen. She gripped the railing hard until her knuckles went white and she stared out at the city around her.

The main thought on her mind was wondering just _who_ was going to slay the vampires if they started showing up in the dozens and more. She knew she could still fight, but she'd be putting her life at risk if she happened upon more than one vampire, especially one that is much stronger and quicker than her. She knew a lot of the girls out there could still fight, slayer or not. She'd seen it before in the potentials back in Sunnydale, and although they lacked the strength and agility a slayer naturally had, they were good fighters.

Faith knew she had to figure out a game plan for the time being. None of them were safe, sitting around the way they were. It wasn't even safe for her or any of them to be out there walking in the streets at all hours of the day. Azri'el was a demon, not a vampire, and it meant he could walk through the day and the night without a damn care in the world. And as was proven to her, he could change his appearance and for all she knew, this demon could look like anyone it wanted to and it could've already changed into looking like someone else.

Faith looked back inside the apartment and watched as Angel paced around in the kitchen while he warmed up a mug of pigs blood. The thought that Azri'el could've changed into someone she trusted and knew and loved was a possibility, but had he taken on Angel's appearance, passing himself off as him just to get in her home and get under her skin?

"That's ridiculous," she laughed to herself. She would've known long before now if it really wasn't Angel inside her apartment. Slayer or not, there was just a way to Angel, a way to him that she could sense deep down. The way he spoke to her, even the subtle little ways he'd just stare at her that were unique to him and no demon, not even Azri'el could ever be able to pull off such a flawless performance like that.

Faith stayed out there for close to an hour until Willow returned home. Faith and Angel made several trips with her down to her car to bring up boxes full of books that she had retrieved from the library in Wood's house. For Faith, it seemed like she had brought every last book he owned, most of which had once belonged to Giles. By the third trip, Faith was completely exhausted and she collapsed on the couch while Angel went down for the last box.

"Wouldn't it have been easier if you just borrowed a few at a time, Wil?" Faith asked, panting a little as she tried to catch her breath.

"Uh that's the thing," Willow replied and she moved a box off the couch beside Faith and sat down. "Robin thought the girls needed to go somewhere safe for a little while. They packed up most of the house earlier today and left the books for me out in the garage. He's selling the house, convinced that staying in Cleveland even after this is over isn't safe for any of them."

"Where's he taking them? To the lake house?" Faith asked, too tired to argue that she should've known this was happening long before now.

"Yeah, to the lake house."

"You think that's wise?"

"Azri'el didn't threaten them, Faith, he threatened _you_. Robin is just taking an extra step to protect these girls."

"What's going on?" Angel asked as he kicked the door shut and placed the last box of books on the floor.

"Wood packed up the girls and took off," Faith replied tightly. Upon the unfazed look on Angel's face, she scoffed. "You already knew, didn't you? Is this the way it's gonna be now? I'm gonna be the last one to know anything around here?"

"I was going to tell you, but you woke up on the cranky side of the bed earlier," Willow replied calmly and offered a small little smile as she mouthed 'sorry'. "Faith, I know we said that it wasn't a good idea to run, but Robin is just taking precaution right now in doing all he can to protect the girls. They're distraught after Amelia's death and of course what had happened to them last night. They think that any one of them is going to be the next. It's the only thing that is going to protect them, even to give them a sense of security."

Faith knew that Wood was only looking out for the girls and this was the only way he could make sure they were safe. It wasn't like he could fight Azri'el or vampires-well, vampires and maybe one demon he could handle, but he had always had the slayers there to back him up whenever he found himself in a situation. Faith remembered how good of a fighter he had been back in Sunnydale, but after being stabbed with multiple of other injuries, he could just barely hold his own in a fight anymore.

She couldn't help but wonder how Giles would be dealing with this situation, probably a hell of a lot better than they were, that's for sure. He'd want the girls to be safe and would take certain measures to ensure that they are safe and not to be too easily found. But what about when it came to her? Faith wasn't sure what Giles would do, but she had a feeling he'd want her to get to Buffy before Azri'el did.

Faith knew that Buffy was already aware of the situation and she had been left untouched by it so far. There was no telling if Azri'el was still in Cleveland or if he was making his way across the country to hunt her down in San Francisco right at that very moment. And Faith knew they couldn't sit there all night researching, Willow could handle that job while she and Angel headed out to the streets to find out whatever they could about Azri'el from some of their otherworldly contacts that had all but disappeared in the last handful of months.

"Here's the thing, guys," Faith said as she rose to her feet. "We need some answers and we all know we're not going to find them just in those books," she said, waving to the dozens of boxes all around the living room. "Angel, you and I are going to hit the streets and Wil, you're going to hit the books, see if you can find even a mention of Azri'el in any of them."

"Faith-"

"No, Wil, we can't just sit here all night going through books with our thumbs stuck up our asses. Angel and I will go out tonight and believe me when I say you do not have to worry about me. You got my back, don't ya, big guy?"

"I do," he nodded his head a little. "And you're right."

"Come again?"

"I said you're right," Angel replied with a slight smirk. "Have you spoken to any of your underground contacts recently?"

"Not for a while. When things started dying down around here, they pretty much disappeared."

"We'll find them, or at least one of them," Angel replied and he turned to Willow who sat on the couch with her mouth slightly open. "Willow, you have my number. Call if you find anything you think is even remotely important and linked to Azri'el or what kind of magic he could've used that could've stripped the slayers of their essence. We'll check in every couple of hours as well."

Faith finally felt like the day was turning around for her. Slayer or not, she was still in charge there. She was just tired of sitting around doing nothing but let her anger and a multitude of other emotions and thoughts consume her like a trail of gasoline lit on fire.

"Should I, uh, get in touch with Buffy, check in on her?" Willow asked while Faith and Angel gathered a few weapons they could easily conceal under their jackets.

"If you feel that's something you need to do, then do it," Faith replied briskly. "You ready, Angel?"

"Lead the way."

* * *

Faith led the way into the fifth dive bar they'd gone into in the last hour, one that used to be owned by a half-breed demon named Kraal. Faith hadn't seen him since May, but she knew he still owned the joint and she knew the guy running it for him had to know where he'd been hiding for the last six months. Faith walked right up to the small wood bar and sat down on one of the five stools along the counter.

"What can I get you?" The old man behind the counter asked her tiredly. "All we have on tap is a local brew, one I'm sure won't appeal to the likes of you."

"Oh yeah, why's that?"

"You a vamp?"

"He is," Faith motioned to Angel. "But we ain't here for a drink, man. We're here cos we're looking for Kraal. You seen him?"

"No, I-"

Faith grabbed his faded black t-shirt that was two sizes too small and pulled him towards her. He reeked of whiskey and gin and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Don't fucking _test_ me, man."

"No-nobody has seen Kraal since before the summer," he stammered and she let go of his t-shirt and wiped her hands on her jeans. "He asked me to watch the place. Said he had places to go, other business to deal with. What you looking for him for anyway?"

"That's not any of your business," Faith scowled and she turned to Angel. "Come on, this place is a bust. Let's hit the next one, it ain't too far from here."

"He's lying," Angel whispered just loud enough for her to hear him as they headed for the door.

"I know. Luckily for me," she chuckled as they stepped out on to the street and she pulled out an old cell phone. "Swiped his phone when I grabbed him."

"Fast hands."

"Didn't always need to be a slayer to have fast hands," Faith replied and they headed down the street a little ways before she flipped the phone open and scrolled through the contacts list. She saw a list of names, mostly half-breed demons like Kraal listed and a few names she didn't recognize. "You think this dude was smart enough not to list him in his contacts as the obvious? Wonder who we'll get if we give 'Karl' a call?"

"And if it's just a guy named Karl?"

"Let the master work," Faith chuckled and she hit dial and sat down on the bench at the bus stop. The line rang twice before it was picked up. "Hello?"

"Who is this?"

"Kraal, long time no see, technically speaking," Faith replied, recognizing the half-breed's voice on the other end of the line. "Is it Kraal or Karl now?"

"Faith?"

"The one and only."

"How did you get this number?"

"Swiped your go to boy's phone when he wouldn't give you up. So, what's up old buddy? Let's skip the small talk, yeah? You in town?"

"Might be."

"Good. Meet me at the pier-"

"Which one."

"Fuck, Kraal, you know which one I'm talking about," Faith snapped. "One hour."

She turned off the phone and ditched it in the trash can beside the bench. They were too far to walk to the pier she told Kraal to meet them at and after telling Angel the plan quickly, they headed back to the apartment to get her truck. After grabbing a few more weapons, heavier artillery like a few axe's and swords, she put them in the box in the bed of the truck and climbed in. They had less than half an hour to get to the pier and she had to hope to hell Kraal showed up.

There wasn't much of a story behind Kraal. He was just another half-breed demon who owned a bar and he had knowledge of the comings and goings of many of the vampires and demons who came through the city. He had proven to be a reliable informant for a while before he up and disappeared. Faith was gonna get some answers from him tonight whether he liked it or not. She had to find out why he had disappeared first before anything. Was he hiding from someone or something?

Faith pulled the truck to a stop by an old pier just outside the city. It was quiet and deserted, as it usually was no matter the time of day. It was in the part of the outskirts that was once littered with hundreds of vampires and demons who used the caves nearby to hide out during the day. She hadn't been there in a few months, Wood's girls usually made it their stop a few times a week during patrol and it had been in the all clear since the end of summer.

"What changed?" Angel asked as they sat in the truck together, waiting for any sign that Kraal had shown up.

"Huh?"

"What changed, Faith? One minute you're angry, scared, the next you're back to being, well, you and taking control, coming up with a plan to get out here and find some answers. What changed?"

"I got thinking," Faith replied. "After Willow told me that Wood had taken the girls out of the city, I started thinking about a lot of things. About Giles, what he would've done if he was still here, about Buffy and whether or not Azri'el was making his way across the country to her or not. Realized we can't just sit around for another day. We gotta get on top of this situation."

"Even without being the slayer, you're still thinking like one," Angel smiled at her. "I'm kind of proud, actually."

"Getting all sappy on me?" Faith chuckled and she playfully slugged him in the shoulder, groaning as her hand throbbed painfully. "Man, I think I'll leave hitting vamps to you, Angel. Can't even just punch you in the shoulder without it hurting."

Angel chuckled and he turned his attention to the man walking towards the pier from the other end of the small parking lot. "Is that our guy?"

"Looks like. Let me do the talking," Faith said and she opened the door slowly. "Kraal doesn't do well with strangers."

Angel nodded and followed her lead. Kraal stood at the end of the pier, his back to them as they approached him slowly. Faith took a deep breath before moving to stand beside him and she leaned on the railing, looking out over the water. Kraal was nervous, she could just hear it in the way he was breathing heavily and shakily.

"Long time no see," Faith said and he turned to look at her. "Where you been?"

"Around."

"Be more specific."

"Look, Slayer, I got a couple of death threats hanging over my head already. Best that nobody knows where I've been staying."

"Pretty much fell off the radar, Kraal."

"Had no choice. Death threats, hello, did you lose your hearing, Slayer?" Kraal asked and he turned to look back at Angel. "Who is the vamp? Friend of yours?" He sneered and Faith nodded.

"Who threatened to kill you, Kraal?"

"Couple of nasty Kungai demons, summoned to kill us half-breeds. Before you ask, no I don't know who summoned those guys, but I've had some luck in avoiding being found by them," Kraal replied. "Look, Slayer, there's rumblings there's something big happening, not just around these parts, but everywhere."

"Definitely right about that one, Kraal. What do you know about Azri'el?"

Kraal backed away from her, terrified and he tried to run, but Angel grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to stay. "No, let me go," he yelled at Angel, trying to writhe out of his strong, tight grip. "Let me go, you nasty vampire!"

"Kraal," Faith drawled out as she stood face to face with him. "I'm thinking you know something about this demon if just hearing his name has you scared out of your mind. We're kind of in the dark here, so why don't you tell us what you know about Azri'el and we'll let you go."

"Evil. Nasty evil," Kraal said under his breath. "Broke past the walls that separate the other dimension from this one. Been here since the early spring. Had myself a little encounter, didn't end well."

"You know more, don't you?"

"He uses magic, the trace of what was left behind. He's after the slayers. Doesn't take a genius to figure out why. No slayers means the demon race can overcome the human race, making way for a world that the First Evil had envisioned when It had tried to emerge in Sunnydale, California. Hey, you were there, weren't you?"

"Yeah," Faith snapped. "Get on with it, Kraal. What else do you know?"

"Azri'el has hundreds of vamps working for him, couple hundred demons too. Did you think the sudden drop was because you were finally wining?" Kraal asked, a sadistic smile curling over his thin lips. "No, it was because of _him_. They all work for him, obey his orders, attack only when he allows them to. The only other thing I know, he moves from place to place, but he has been here the longest as the Hellmouth here is the only one left in the world with a little bit of power rumbling beneath it."

"How much power does he have?" Angel asked and Kraal squirmed, trying once again to get out of his hold. "How much power does Azri'el have?"

"Some, not a lot. Takes days to recharge after he does the extraction spell. Now let me go."

"No," Faith said with a shake of her head and she grabbed the front of his jacket, forcing him to look right at her. "What do you know about this spell and don't spew me your same old bullshit that you don't know. You know too much about everything, Kraal. You admitted that before. You hear and see everything and like to lie and weasel you way out of any situation that makes you spill what you know. You ain't gonna do it this time. What spell is he using?"

"An extraction spell, I don't know exactly. Strips the slayers of what makes them a slayer," Kraal replied and he groaned as Faith raised a fist, ready to strike. "The-there's a book, an old one," he said and Faith swung at him, punching him several times in the face. "Wait, wait, please, I know where the book is. I can get it for you. One more punch and I'll change and you know I hate looking like my other self, Faith."

"It's no uglier than the face ya got now."

"When can you get us this book?" Angel asked and he turned Kraal to face him. "Can you get it to us tonight?"

"Well..." Kraal trailed off and flinched when Angel raised his fist, ready to strike. "Yes, yes! I can get it for you tonight. I have it hidden, somewhere safe, somewhere-hey, hey, what do you think you're doing? Stop manhandling me!"

Faith started checking the pockets of his jacket and pulled out a small, well-worn leather book that had half the cover missing. "Somewhere safe?" Faith chuckled and Angel let go of the half-breed demon roughly. "You're really stupid sometimes, you know that, Kraal?"

"Don't remind me. In fact, now that you got what you wanted out of me, appreciate it if you don't find me again. Already in more trouble than I can stand."

"Call Willow," Faith said as she started to walk back to the truck with Angel. "Tell her what we have and that we'll be back soon."

"Soon?"

"There's just one more stop we have to make."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Notes: I know there isn't really a lot of interest in this story, but I promise you guys that it will be worth it once Buffy shows up. It's a slow-paced story and the Fuffy isn't gonna just magically happen (but it will, this is me we're talking about here lol) So I'm hoping you guys stick with me on this one and don't be afraid to let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is good too :)**

* * *

**_Chapter Four_**

Faith paced the living room floor, watching as Willow went through the book she'd taken from Kraal. Willow was having some difficulty translating the language it was written in, five to be exact, and three of them all demon languages that she barely had the materials and knowledge to properly transcribe it.

The last stop of the night was to the corner store. Faith grabbed a couple six packs of beer while Angel headed to the butcher shop that was conveniently still open so late at night. They met on the street, both with their drinks of choice and headed back to the apartment. And as soon as she put her beer in the fridge and cleared out a shelf just for Angel to store his pigs blood, she started pacing around the living room floor and she hadn't stopped for over an hour.

Angel had taken the chair in the corner and had dozed off as soon as he had sat down. Soft snores filled the room, but the sound of Faith's feet pacing along the hardwood floor sounded much louder than it really was. Willow sighed and it made Faith stop and look over at her.

"What's up, Wil?"

"I'm just tired. All the words, the letters, the little squiggly lines and pictures are all blurring into one."

"Go get some sleep."

"What about you, Faith?"

"Right behind you," she replied with a smile that was forced.

Willow didn't say anything, not like she normally would. She closed her books and headed for her room, saying goodnight to Angel that didn't even make him budge out of his dead sleep. Faith grabbed Willow's laptop off the couch and put it down on the desk once she'd cleared away a few piles of books. She plugged it in and started straightening the place up, which was hard to do with hundreds of books taking up every table surface they had and parts of the floor.

Faith picked up the notepad that Willow was using to translate the book they'd gotten from Kraal. There were only a few lines and none of what she wrote made any sense. Faith tossed the notepad back down on the couch and rubbed her throbbing temples. They needed help if they wanted to have any luck finding out what this book said. They needed it translated and fast, because if it turned out to be a fluke-no, she didn't want to think about the worst, but she really couldn't help it after everything that had happened over the last couple of days.

That feeling deep in her gut was nagging at her and she began pacing the floor again. They did need help translating and the only one qualified for that job was Andrew. But Andrew was busy in San Francisco being Buffy's loyal little lap-dog. Faith doubted that he'd come running to help _them_, even if his precious Buffy could be the next one to lose her slayer essence. Andrew was truly loyal to Buffy, she knew that much from what Willow had told her before in their brief and fleeting conversations of Buffy and company in San Francisco.

Faith looked down at the old book and picked it up. She tried to read and make sense of what was written on the first page, but it was all just gibberish to her, much like it was to Willow, even with her translator books and computer at hand. Shaking her head, she tossed the book back down and headed for the fridge to grab herself a cold beer.

She felt like she'd been lied to, just thinking about what Kraal had said about the vampires and demons that were working for Azri'el, attacking only under his orders. She had thought they were finally winning the good fight a few days ago.

How had she shaken off that anger, that frustration and came up with a plan that got them what, a tiny step closer to more answers? It was instinct, she realized and she laughed to herself for not picking up on that earlier. As a slayer, certain instincts came natural to her, good and bad, and she had never thought twice about most of them, certainly never questioned it like she was doing now. Where had it come from? What pushed her all of a sudden to slip back into her previous role as the one in charge, coming up with a plan that could've gotten her killed if she didn't have Angel watching her back.

The wheels in her head were spinning fast now, one thought blurring into another, one theory becoming something else, and so on. They kind of knew Azri'el's end game; wipe out all the slayers and pave the way for the First to return to a world that could feed all those that fed off of evil and darkness. It made Faith wonder why she wasn't the last, she carried the slayer line-the true slayer line-after all. Or had that all changed back in Sunnydale when Willow used the power of the scythe to activate slayers all over the world in an instant?

Groaning in frustration, she chugged almost half her beer back and stormed to Willow's bedroom door. She walked in without knocking and kicked the edge of the mattress, jolting Willow awake.

"Huh? What? Is there a fire?"

"Wil, get up."

"You-you told me to go to bed, get some sleep," Willow replied sleepily. She turned on the lamp beside her bed and rubbed her eyes. "Lucky for you I wasn't exactly off in dream land just yet. If I was, you'd be in big trouble."

Faith sat down on the edge of her bed and sighed heavily. "Why wasn't I the last one?"

"The last one what?"

"The last slayer to be stripped of my, you know, essence?"

"I-"

"I carried the line, didn't I? I was the last slayer called. I never died to the best of my knowledge, unless when Buffy stuck that knife into my gut and I went into a coma I flatlined for a minute or two-"

"You do carry the line," Willow interrupted, her voice quiet. "Or you did. But, something happened when I cast that spell on the scythe. And then in Scotland, when the younger slayers were being killed, Buffy received that extra doze of super slayer strength and everything."

"So I don't carry the line?"

"Faith," Willow sighed and she kicked off her covers and moved to sit beside her. "There was a reason for what happened to Buffy in Scotland with the sudden major case of the slayer strength. There was magic behind that and after the Seed was destroyed, that was gone."

"Doesn't make any sense."

"What doesn't make any sense?"

"I've been thinking about Azri'el and this plan of his. If he's going after all the slayers, wouldn't he have gotten to Buffy before me? I should've been the last one, right?"

"I don't know. Maybe. You know as well as I do that we have never fully understood what the scythe really did that day we activated all the potential slayers. Maybe the line was eradicated? Maybe it doesn't end with you. Maybe it doesn't end with anyone anymore? There's no way we'll ever know, Faith."

Maybe. There were too many maybe's for Faith and she could feel her anger starting to bubble up inside. She took a few deep breaths, closing her eyes as she tried to remain calm. Willow reached out for her and instead of moving away, Faith let her wrap her arms tightly around her. She let Willow hold her instead of pushing her away for a few minutes and it was Willow who let go first, a shaky smile curling over her lips as she brushed a few strands of hair away from Faith's face.

"I promise you, we'll figure this all out, okay?" Willow said softly, her words sincere and clutching to Faith's hope like a moth to a flame. "I know it's hard, but try not to think too much about why, or how right now. I know you well enough to know that when you let your thoughts consume you like this, it's never good for you or anyone else within striking distance."

"Never had a friend quite like you, Wil."

"Ditto," Willow replied and they both laughed.

"I was stupid, you know that?"

"Why?"

"Didn't realize that we got more in common than what meets the eye," Faith replied. "I mean, when you lost your ability to do magic, the power that flowed inside of you, it didn't physically hurt, but in a way it's exactly what I've gone through and here I am being a total asshole about it and you? You handled it a helluva lot better than me."

"I didn't handle it that great," Willow replied under her breath, sadness filling her eyes. "I went off in a rage on Kennedy one night. I don't know where it came from or why, but I was so angry that she still had power running through her and there I was, just another normal human being, pathetically clinging on to hope that maybe I would get it all back one day. I pushed her out of my life like she meant nothing to me."

"Don't believe that."

"What part?"

"The going off in a rage," Faith replied with a smirk. "You're Willow. The angriest I've ever seen you is nothing compared to me." Willow frowned and Faith stood up from the bed. "And I don't believe you when you said that Kennedy meant nothing to you."

"I loved her, but I was never in love with her."

"There's a difference?"

"Big difference."

"Wouldn't know."

"You know what love feels like," Willow said and Faith shrugged a little. "I love you, Angel loves you, Giles, he loved you too. But being in love with someone, there are no words that can ever really explain how it feels, how it makes your heart and soul feel when you're with the one that you're so hopelessly, madly in love with."

"How'd we get here, Wil?" Faith asked, laughing weakly as she sat back down beside her on the bed.

"You mean to the topic of love? No clue."

"I ever tell you how happy I am that you're here?"

"Not once, but a few dozen times at least," Willow replied, laughing as she stuck her tongue out at her. "You feel any better now, Faith?"

"Little bit," she shrugged. "Kinda wigged about this whole situation and not knowing nearly enough. I'm scared, Wil. I'm scared that Azri'el will come to me and kill me. That is his end game, isn't it?"

"That won't happen," Willow said, her voice full of confidence. "If he wanted you dead, you'd be dead. I promised you we'll figure this out, didn't I? We just need some time to find the answers that we need to fix this, to put a stop to everything that Azri'el is doing. It won't be easy, we both know that, but we never fail, do we? In the end, we always win, we always come out on top, stronger than ever."

Faith smiled. She knew that Willow was right. They always came out on top in the end no matter what the world, the fates, whatever it was threw their way.

"Have a little faith," Willow said, winking as Faith stood up from the bed and shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans. "Get some rest if you can. Tomorrow is another day, a new day and a fresh start. We'll find some answers tomorrow no matter what it takes."

"And if we don't?"

"We'll go from there."

Faith nodded and left Willow's room to let her sleep. She found it kind of funny how the two of them got along now, how no matter what kind of craziness was going through Faith's head, that Willow was always willing to listen to her at all and any hour of the day. She really didn't know what she'd do without her.

Willow had become that one friend she never truly had, the friend who trusted her, who was there for her, who joked around for her and offered a shoulder to cry on if she needed it. She was the friend who learned to love her despite her flaws, her past mistakes and her sometimes real shitty attitude. Willow was the friend to her that she had once been to Buffy and even just thinking of it, Faith knew how pissed Buffy would be knowing her former best friend had formed a solid friendship with her.

Laughing, she grabbed her beer off the counter where she'd left it and headed out on to the balcony. It was late, or early depending on how one looked at the time. The sun would be up in a few short hours and a new day would start again. And Faith knew she wouldn't be able to sleep, her mind full of questions, thoughts and emotions. She knew she wouldn't be able to rest until they knew more than they already did.

Faith couldn't help but think about what she and Willow had talked about. She wanted to know if she still carried the line, or if she did before she had her slayer essence stripped from her. There had to be a way they could figure it out. When there was a will, there was a way and when there was a Willow, she always figured it out in the end. And Faith couldn't help but think that if Willow hadn't decided to come there to Cleveland, where would that leave her? Alone, afraid, and unable to find and use the resources she needed to help her.

And Faith knew in that moment that this wasn't just about her or the other slayers. It was about Willow too, about her being able to grasp that tiny sliver of magic that was left and use it. If she could find a way to use it, she'd be able to save them all.

* * *

The air was crisp, cool, but Faith kept a steady pace as she jogged through the park late in the morning. She knew how important it was to keep up with her training, slayer or not. She needed the regular jogs, the regular work-outs now more than ever. She had ignored Willow and Angel when they tried to convince her it was safer for her to stay in. She needed to escape for at least an hour, she needed to run and feel the pavement beneath her feet and the wind whipping through her hair. She needed to feel that burn in her lungs, the strain of her muscles as she pushed herself to the edge.

Staying alert, she veered down the path that took her through the patch of forest, out of view from the few others that were out in the park and enjoying the crisp, cool November morning. It was dangerous and reckless running out of sight, but she didn't care. She was pushing herself to the max, finding the edge she'd been seeking.

She hadn't slept since the day before and although she felt the fatigue, it was gone once she'd started jogging. It put her mind at ease too, finally for once having a clear head and the only thought was of putting one foot down in front of the other and avoiding colliding with any other people out there on the path.

Faith turned herself around and headed back to the openness of the park. The warmth of the sun hit her as she exited from beneath the shade of the trees, most of which still had yet to lose their colored leaves.

And she found her max, her edge as she broke out in a run, running as hard and fast as she could manage as she headed for the entrance to the park. She could barely breathe and she slowed down to a jog before coming to a stop. Nearly collapsing on the bench, she breathed heavily and closed her eyes. Her heart was racing wildly and her whole body burned and ached in the way she had been craving for it to since she left the apartment.

Giving herself a moment to recover, she headed back to the apartment. She took her time and stopped at the café on the corner to grab a coffee for herself, one for Angel, and a green tea for Willow. She fumbled with the tray and her keys when she reached the main door to her building. After dropping her keys twice, she grumbled angrily and headed for the call box, ready to punch in their number and get Willow to buzz her in.

"Good morning, Faith," the old lady that lived across the hall said as she opened the door. "Not having much luck with those keys today, are you dear?"

"Just having a clumsy morning, Mrs. Greene."

"Ah, we're all allowed to have those once in a while," she chuckled, her voice soft and warm, friendly as ever. "Oh, Faith? If you have a moment to spare, can you come and help me with a few things later? I have some boxes in storage I'd like to get rid of and I can't seem to move them myself."

"Yeah sure, I'll stop by later," she replied with a smile and headed inside, watching as Mrs. Greene pulled her little cart out behind her as she stepped out into the street.

Faith hit the button by the elevator and waited. There were a lot of elderly people in the building, but of all of them, Mrs. Greene was her favorite. She was a sweet little old lady who lived alone and had no family nearby and very little of her friends were still alive. Faith had, on several occasions, helped her out with a few odd chores around her apartment and even went as far as driving her to the other side of the city for a doctor's appointment at a special clinic.

Willow loved to tease her about helping the helpless, especially when there weren't demons or vampires involved. But for Faith, she felt the need to help the lady when she asked. In a way, it was just another part of the path of redemption for her, something that Willow understood, but never truly did at the same time.

"Good run, Faith?" Angel asked once she'd managed to get the door to the apartment open without dropping her keys or the tray she held in her left hand.

"Ooh, you brought tea!" Willow shrieked happily. She jumped up from the couch and grabbed the cup with her name written on the side.

"Thinking I should've got ya the decaffeinated one, Wil," she chuckled and she pulled the last two out of the tray and handed one to Angel. "I figured you'd want some coffee. I got it black, just the way you like it. Half full so you know, you can do that disgusting thing you do and put some of your pigs blood in it."

"He does what?" Willow sputtered as she flopped back down on the couch. "Are you serious? That's ten thousands levels of disgusting, Angel!"

"I'm a vampire," he mumbled under his breath and headed for the kitchen.

"Does he really do that?" Willow asked Faith as she sat down next to her. "Really?"

"Yeah. It's pretty gross, but hey, vampire right? What better way to eat and get a dose of caffeine than to mix it together?" Faith replied and she shuddered a little. "Angel, the sugar is in the cupboard above the sink!" She yelled when she heard him rummaging around in the kitchen.

"Do you feel better now?" Willow asked her and she nodded. "You also stink."

"Hey!" Faith laughed, playfully swatting her across the shoulder. "I don't stink. I'm just a little sweaty and gross and-"

"You stink."

Willow was giggling uncontrollably as Faith started to chase her around the living room. They landed on the floor, both laughing like they'd lost their minds and they both looked up at Angel as he stood by their heads and looked down at them.

"It's nice to see you two getting along so well," he said, struggling to keep a straight face. "And why is it that you two are chasing each other around for?"

"Trying to rub my stink all over her for telling me I stink," Faith chuckled and she pulled herself up and offered a hand to Willow. "Yeah, yeah, don't even say it, big guy. We're acting like a pair of crazies who escaped the mental hospital."

"Twice and we always go back," Willow added, swatting away Faith's hand and getting up from the floor quickly.

Angel laughed and sipped from his cup which caused the two to pull a face at him. "Back to business now, shall we? Willow, have you translated that page yet?"

"Gee whiz, when did you turn into Gi-" Willow stopped herself, her hand flying to her mouth before she finished saying Giles' name. "I'm almost there. Just a few more words and hopefully they'll make some kind of sense. The whole page is cryptic."

"Cryptic how?" Faith asked, their moment of silliness now long forgotten.

Willow motioned for her to follow her back into the living room and she handed her the notepad she'd been translating the first page of the book on. She had crossed out the lines she had translated the night before, the lines that Faith had briefly read. Under them was a string of sentences, some just single words, some a jumble of them that if read out of order would make more sense.

"What does this all mean?" Faith asked her, handing the notepad back.

"It's a history, an origin of a spell," she replied. "A spell that can be used even if there if very little to no magic left in the fabric of this dimension. I'm still working on the rest of this page and so far it looks like an index for the rest of the book."

"But we can't jump to any conclusions," Angel said solemnly. "These are just loose translations and if one word is out of place and you try to cast-"

"I'm not going to try to do anything," Willow replied, shock resting in her eyes at the fact that Angel would accuse her of such a thing. "The most important thing right now is finding out just exactly what this book contains, why Kraal had it, and what its purpose is, if anything."

"What if it is a fluke?" Faith asked and Willow shrugged. They all knew that was a possibility that the book was a fluke, something to distract them from finding out the answers they really needed. "Guess we'll find out soon enough, right?"

"Yeah."

Faith could tell that Willow was anxious to get not just the first page, but the entire book translated. At this rate, it could take weeks before she got there and time was something they didn't have on their side. There was no telling what would happen that day or that night. Anything was possible and anything could happen.

Leaving Willow to it, she headed for the bathroom, anxious to get out of her work-out clothes and into a nice hot shower.

* * *

"We should've told her," Angel said once he could hear the water running in the bathroom.

"I know," Willow sighed, frowning as she stared down at her cup of tea. "I-I didn't know how to bring it up. You so much as say Buffy's name to her and she shuts down."

Angel knew that all too well, the few conversations he had had with Faith about Buffy had ended with Faith blowing off, usually running off into her room or off somewhere else just to avoid talking about her at all. He knew why she reacted that way when it came to Buffy, he had even confronted her about it shortly before she decided to move back to Cleveland. Faith had unresolved feelings when it came to Buffy, it was obvious to everyone but her.

While Faith had been out on her run, Buffy had called. She sounded frantic and scared and she had spoke so quietly that even Angel could barely hear the words she was saying. Once she had calmed down, she started over, telling him that she had lied to him when he called her a few days ago. She wasn't fine, she wasn't okay. She had encountered Azri'el while out on patrol and he had nearly killed her before he used his power to strip her of her slayer essence.

Buffy and her team in San Francisco had already been working on researching Azri'el for months. Angel nearly lost it on her when she revealed that little fact that could've changed everything they were doing there in Cleveland. After Willow managed to wrestle the phone away from him before he said something that he would later regret, she talked to Buffy, staying calm as she asked her a string of questions, each one getting a one word answer out of her.

It came down to the fact that Buffy had been without her slayer essence for nearly three weeks and she had hid it from everyone, even Dawn, Xander, and Andrew. Her guilt had been what made her call that morning, her guilt was what made her fess up to lying. And it was her guilt over the fact that maybe she could've stopped this from happening to Faith that made her make that call. At least that is what she had told Willow.

The entire situation just proved to Willow that Buffy really didn't care about anything or anyone outside her little circle of friends in San Francisco and it hurt knowing that she was shut out of Buffy's life, just like that. The phone call had ended on a bad note, with Willow losing what was left of her cool and telling Buffy that she was too selfish for her own good. She even used words she never would've, bad words, words that still made her feel dirty just thinking about them.

"Faith is going to completely lose it when she finds out that Buffy lied to us," Willow said softly. She frowned when Angel didn't say a word. He didn't need to. "How do we even-I mean, how do we even tell her any of this, Angel? You know things are going to-"

"Get bad and then worse, yeah, I know," Angel nodded. "She still needs to know, Willow."

"Well," Willow coughed as she cleared her throat. "I vote you be the one to tell her."

"Why do I need to be the one to tell her? You're her best friend, maybe it's better if it came from you?"

"Why me? I wasn't the one who Buffy lied to in the first place and you believed her, Angel! That one is all on you!"

Angel growled and it made Willow stand down. She could hold her own, she'd changed a lot in the past six months since she'd been living with Faith. She was more confident, more sure of herself and in a way she had changed into a completely different person and she knew Faith was a core reason for that. But when Angel growled and looked at her that way, it stirred up deep memories of the time she had seen him as Angelus and it still scared her.

"How about we both tell her?" Angel said after a few long minutes passed. "Despite the inevitable, Willow, she needs to know and the sooner we tell her, the less she's going to feel like we were keeping this from her, betraying her."

"I know. She's still going to be really pissed."

"That's a given."

"Is it too early to start drinking?" Willow asked, laughing half-heartedly as she glanced at the clock. "I don't know if I can tell her. I don't know if I can stand seeing how she reacts, Angel. Whether we tell her now or wait until tomorrow or the next day, the fallout is going to be the same."

"What fallout?" Faith asked, standing by the bathroom door in her robe, towel in hand as she dried her wet hair. "What's going on, guys? Tell me what?"

The only thought that came to Willow's mind was; _oh crap_.

* * *

Faith stood there staring at Angel and Willow. What had she just walked in on? She could feel the tension, the intensity of it as soon as she had opened the bathroom door and caught wind of their heated conversation.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Faith-"

"What aren't you telling me?" She yelled, cutting off Willow and the level, the tone of her voice made Willow back down like a dog who had been thrown in its cage for being bad. "And cut the bullshit. I'm tired of bullshit. Just lay it all out. Come on. Give it to me."

"Faith, maybe you should just-"

"Should just what? Wil? Forget what I just heard?"

"Uh," Willow coughed, looking uneasy. "Maybe you should uh, get dressed first?"

"Maybe you oughta tell me what the hell is going on here first, huh?"

Faith watched the uneasy looks passed between Willow and Angel. The wheels in her head started turning and she didn't like the results that came from that. This had something to do with Buffy. She was more than certain of it.

"Look, I'm calm okay," Faith said, dropping the towel to hold up both her hands. She even offered an uneasy and forced smile. "Just tell me what the hell is going on here before I start jumping to all these crazy conclusions."

"It's Buffy-" Willow stated, cutting herself off abruptly. "I-it's complicated, Faith."

"Then spell it out for me if ya gotta, Wil. What is complicated?"

"Faith, maybe you should just go and throw some clothes on and then we'll sit down and talk about this," Angel interjected and she flipped him off, staring straight at Willow. "Or maybe not."

"Willow? You been keeping something from me?"

"No! I mean, not for long. Just since you got back in from your run. She called. Buffy called. Words were exchanged. I may have called her a selfish b-i-t-c-h. before I hung up on her."

"She used the C word too," Angel added and Faith couldn't help but laugh at little at that.

"What's going on, guys? Just tell me."

"Buffy lied to Angel when he talked to her a few days ago," Willow started and she gulped when Faith clenched her fists at her side. "She wasn't okay like she claimed to be."

"He got her too, didn't he?"

"Three weeks ago."

"You knew about this before today?" Faith asked and they both shook their heads no. "Figures. So tell me, what's the what?"

Angel did most of the talking, but the whole time Faith's eyes were trained on Willow, trying to catch her wandering gaze. She felt betrayed. She felt like she had been gutted a second time by Buffy, hearing the things she was hearing. But as Angel told her everything Buffy had told him and Willow during that phone call, she felt like she didn't matter. She didn't matter to Buffy enough for her to call, to warn her, to try to save her. She felt like Willow didn't matter to her anymore either.

"What a fucking bitch," Faith muttered, halting Angel in the middle of his sentence. "What? She is! She's a selfish, self-centered cunt of a bitch who is only looking out for herself. Screw her former best friend, screw her fellow slayers, screw everyone but her fucking self!"

"Faith-"

"She knew, Wil. She knew what was happening and she lied when Angel called her. She _lied_! Guess we can't expect anything more from her now, huh?"

"Faith-"

"What?" Faith snapped, causing Willow to recoil as she was about to reach out for her.

"I'm just as upset as you are right now, but being upset right now isn't going to help. We need to stop and just think about what we're going to do right now. Buffy and her team, they have information that we don't. But," Willow said and a small smile curled over her lips as she held up the small book. "We have something they don't have. This book. This could have all the answers we need to stop Azri'el and to fix this."

"So," Faith sighed as she started pacing the floor. "What are we going to do now, guys?"

"Are you going to tell her or should I?" Angel asked Willow and she just stared wide-eyed at him. Angel sighed and stood in front of Faith, placing his hands on her shoulders to get her to stop pacing. "Faith, there's something else you need to know."

"What now? You gonna tell me that Buffy and company are coming to Cleveland now?"

Upon the look on both their faces, Faith burst out laughing and pushed Angel away from her. Faith kept pushing Angel away when he tried to grab on to her and she ended up throwing a hard right hook, yelling in pain as her fist collided with his jaw.

"Are you kidding me here, guys?" Faith half laughed, half cried as she held her sore hand.

"Despite the fact that Buffy had kept this from us, we need to band together right now. We don't know what Azri'el has planned, but we have to be prepared and if that means we have to band together, then that is exactly what we're going to do," Angel said calmly. He rubbed his jaw where Faith had hit him and laughed softly. "You still pack a good punch, Faith."

"Yeah well, it hurt like hell," she muttered under her breath. "What do we do then? We play nice to Buffy and company, we pool our resources together and we put an end to this, lemme guess, together as a team, and when all is said and done, Buffy and company prance on back to San Francisco, likely taking all the credit and we just go back to our merry old lives?"

"That's the gist of it," Willow nodded. "But wow, Faith, that was a lot of sarcasm, even from you. That's kind of scary."

"Thanks," Faith grinned, but it fell short, the bitterness, the anger, the betrayal being the dominator of all her emotions. "I ain't happy about any of this."

"Neither are we," Angel replied. "But you're right. We need to come together as a team right now. It's a bit late, yes I know, and before you get pissed about that, you need to know that we don't have much of a choice. Things are different now, Faith. Yet, when it comes down to it, when it's something as big as this, we need to forget how different things are, how far apart everyone has become and band together."

Faith sighed loudly. She knew it was something that had to be done and it was inevitable that they'd end up teaming up with Buffy and company from San Francisco. This was a huge situation they had been pulled into and she knew, she had that feeling, that they couldn't do this alone anymore, not if they wanted to survive this and move on with their lives. And Faith knew she shouldn't be so angry about the change in events, but she couldn't help it. Buffy was now very much involved and had been for much longer and now they had to be in the same city as each other?

Faith hadn't seen or talked to Buffy since she had come to Cleveland for Giles' reading of the will. Things had been tense then and all Buffy had done was cry. They left things on a sour note, not through words, but just through what they were feeling over the loss of Giles. Faith couldn't even talk about Buffy, not with Angel and not with Willow. When it came to Buffy, she made her feel a complex of emotions, most of which she had tried so hard in the last eight years to ignore, to repress, to push away like they never even existed in the first place.

She loved to hate her and she hated to love her. It was just the way it was and always would be.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Chapter Five_**

Two days passed by and the tension between the three was reaching an all-time high. Angel kept to himself, sleeping on a cot in Faith's bedroom during the day and patrolled at night, alone. Willow tried to keep herself busy, trying to translate the book they'd gotten from Kraal, but she had gotten no further than where she'd left off two days before. And Faith, she spent a few hours both days down in the work-out room, pushing herself to the point where she nearly collapsed, her whole body protesting any further movement.

That morning was no different than the last two days, but it felt different for Faith. She knew that any day now, Buffy and company would be arriving in Cleveland and things were going to change, the tension likely to flare even more so than it already was. Faith had tried over the course of the last two days to ignore her thoughts when they involved Buffy. She had tried to put up that wall that blocked herself from feeling just about anything.

The thing about walls, once they've been broken, she found it hard to build them back up, stronger than ever. She felt like she was crumbling, falling further away with every moment that passed. Everything she had been, everything she had accomplished and overcame in the last two years-if not longer-seemed to be withering away and there seemed to be nothing that she could do to hold on to the strength that had kept her together when the whole world changed.

Faith hadn't seen Angel since he'd left the night before to patrol. His last words were a promise he'd only be a few hours and that he'd be back long before sunrise. He didn't keep his word and she was worried. The sun had been up for almost twenty minutes and there was still no sign of him. If anything happened to him, now of all times, she wasn't sure what she'd do. She'd break apart, fall into that never-ending black hole of despair and darkness without a strong hand reaching to pull her back up again.

This wasn't who she was. She wasn't the one to worry, to feel the fear and let it consume her. She had long since learned how to get a handle on her wayward emotions, but take the slayer from her and she dove head first into being the person she was before and something else entirely.

And she hated it.

"Morning," Willow mumbled as she came out of the bedroom wearing her pajamas and fluffy light green bathrobe. "Is there coffee? Tea?"

"Working on it," Faith replied as she fiddled with the coffeemaker. "Think the damn thing is broken again."

"Did you put water in it?"

Faith laughed dryly and shook her head no. "Damn, now why didn't I think about that?"

"Did you sleep last night?" Willow asked her while she busied herself with filling the carafe with water.

"Little bit, yeah."

"Nightmares?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing, Wil. Dreamless sleep. You'd think that'd make it easier to sleep right? Can't seem to find that off button on my brain."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Can we at least get caffeinated first?" Faith asked, both of them laughing softly.

"Where's Angel?"

"Beats me."

Faith watched the coffeemaker, watching as the carafe slowly filled with freshly brewed coffee. She rubbed her neck, her muscles feeling tight and sore. She knew the tension she felt was from pushing herself the last couple of days, but it was also worry that made it feel worse.

"He didn't come back last night?"

"No, Wil."

"Do you think-"

"I don't know if he's okay or if he's a pile of dust, so drop it."

"I was just-it's okay to worry about him, Faith," Willow said gently. "I'm sure he's fine. Maybe he just got a little too far and lost track of time and is holed up somewhere for the day."

"Hope so."

Faith turned to Willow, frowning when she saw the look on her face. Willow was worried about Angel too, she didn't need to say it, Faith just knew. She drummed her fingers on the counter, turning her attention back to watching the coffee brew. Nobody had a clue when Buffy and company were going to show up. Willow had called yesterday late in the afternoon and nobody had answered the phone. Both had assumed that they were already on their way there, on a plane to Cleveland. But maybe they weren't, maybe Azri'el had killed them all.

_That'd be too easy. He's playing a game, killing them all would take the fun out of it._

Faith turned to look at Willow again, watching as she headed into the living room with a fresh banana muffin. She picked up the book and turned to the page she'd left off on the night before. The translating was slow going and Willow would find a spot where she'd translated it wrong and started all over again. It seemed like at this rate they'd never get anywhere with this book and that maybe Kraal had given them a book that was a fluke as a way to distract them from the bigger picture.

And if that was the case, she would hunt down his no good, sorry and pathetic half-breed demon ass and kill him. No matter what it took. She'd kill him for leading them on. The whole thing could have been planned out, not by him of course, Kraal was too stupid for that, but by Azri'el. With the way things have gone in the past week, Faith knew that _anything_ was possible.

Faith grabbed the kettle and filled it with water before placing it on the stove and turning the burner on. She knew Willow well enough now that she knew she'd have a few sips of her coffee, complain about it and want a cup of tea instead. It was just what she preferred now. Willow even said it was a thing and it had been since she left Scotland to go to San Francisco. She just preferred her tea, much like Giles always did.

After Faith got herself a cup of coffee and made Willow a tea, she brought Willow's cup of tea to her and sat down on the couch. She'd barely sat down herself when Angel burst in the door, breaking the lock, smoke rising from him as he slammed the door shut behind him.

"Now that was a smoking entrance," Faith chuckled, her face quickly going serious. "I hope you plan on replacing that door and the locks, Angel."

"Couldn't find the key you gave me," he muttered and tore his jacket off. Upon the looks that Willow and Faith were giving him, he raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Bit sunny for you to be taking a stroll, don't ya think?"

"I lost track of time," he replied, frowning. "Was down in the sewers for a little while, thought maybe it'd be a good place to hide out, maybe even find a way back here, but did you know those sewered are filled with-"

"Actual crap and almost full to the brim," Faith stated and she and Willow couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, most of the lines here are. Very few are actually empty unless it had just rained. Surprised you didn't come in smelling like shit."

"Narrowly avoided that fate."

"While narrowly missing another," Willow replied, pointing out his still lightly smoking skin. "What kept you out so late, Angel?"

"I was following a vampire. Found him in one of the bars we were in the other night and overheard him talking to another about their master, who I assumed was Azri'el. Turns out, his master is the vampire who sired him and neither of them have even heard of Azri'el. They're new in town, well, at least they _were_ new in town."

"Dusted 'em?" Faith asked and Angel nodded. "Great. We're right where we left off, in the fucking dark and all we have is a stupid book that we can't even translate!"

Faith was on edge, much as she had been for the past week. Angel and Willow had been patient with her and she was grateful for that even if she didn't acknowledge it. She wasn't the only one on edge, Angel and Willow were too, they just hid it a lot better than she did.

"Any word?" Angel asked Willow and she shook her head no. "Have you called?"

"Not since yesterday. They could be on their way here now."

"When you talked to Dawn the other day, did they say where they'd be staying?"

"At a hotel. If they need to be here for uh, longer than a week, she said they'd look into finding a house to rent."

"A house?" Faith scrunched her forehead. "If it's just the four of them, what do they need a house for?"

"Six of them," Willow said quietly. "There's six of them coming. I meant to tell you."

"Who else?"

"Um," Willow frowned and she sipped her tea and the look in her eyes told Faith that one of those two extra's was Kennedy. "She's coming," Willow said after a moment. "And Buffy's boyfriend as well."

"That's rich," Faith laughed. "Of course Buffy is gonna bring along her latest beef-stick."

Angel tensed at the mention of Buffy bringing her boyfriend and he left the living room, heading straight for Faith's bedroom and very quietly shut the door behind him. Faith knew that it didn't matter how much time had passed by between the two of them, Angel would always love her and he would always have those feelings for her deep down. He said to her once before, when he had tried talking to her about Buffy, that once you fell for her, you just couldn't let her go. Faith understood it too, she'd never admit it, but she did understand a little bit about how Angel felt and why he just couldn't push her out of his very soul. Buffy was like that, she was the type of person that one just couldn't forget, whether they loved her at one point or hated her.

Or both.

"I-I didn't even know she'd gone back to San Francisco. I haven't seen or talked to her since I broke up with her. And those times I talked to Dawn? She never mentioned that Kennedy was there with them. Not even once."

"Whatever, Wil. Don't let it bug you. You said so before it was best you two didn't stay together. Why should it matter if she's off being one of Buffy's lapdogs? Why should it matter if she's coming here? Figure, the more brains we got on this whole situation, the better, right?"

"I guess so."

"What happened to the Willow that's been living here with me for the past six months, huh?" Faith asked, smirking as Willow just shrugged. "Come on, Wil. You're not this type of woman. You're strong, you're confident, you speak your mind more freely than you ever have in your life and hell, you've learned how to make good use of some choice swear words when you need to and you pull it off like you've been swearing like a sailor your whole life."

"Faith," Willow laughed and she shook her head. "You're the reason for all of the above."

"Not the whole reason, that lies on your shoulders. You changed, evolved into this amazing woman and it had nothing to do with me."

"Little bit."

Faith rolled her eyes and Willow stuck her tongue out at her. "Don't lose that part of you, Wil, not for any reason. I love that part of you, you know that."

"I'm just...nervous."

"Not the only one."

Willow hadn't seen the others since she left nearly two years ago, but she regularly talked to Dawn, at least once a month. Either Dawn or Xander, but she never talked to Buffy, she didn't even _want_ to talk to Buffy. Faith wasn't sure why, they'd been the best of friends for years, but she knew things had changed in Scotland between them and she wasn't sure what happened. All she knew is that Willow didn't even consider her a friend anymore, Dawn and Xander barely making the cut as well.

"Why are we even nervous?" Willow asked.

"Beats me."

"I mean it's just Buffy, Dawn, Xander, Andrew, Kennedy and Buffy's newest boyfriend. It's like the old days, kind of," Willow said and she laughed dryly. "Why are we even nervous?"

"All of the above."

"Right," Willow frowned. "The whole world is different now. We're all different. Even when I talk to Dawn or Xander, it _feels_ different. They don't tell me too much about what's happening in San Francisco, at least not slayer related stuff anyway. I barely know what they're doing with their lives and the only reason I ever call is because-"

"You're checking up on them, right?"

"Yeah. I just want to make sure they're all...okay."

"I get it."

They sat in silence for a while, Willow sipping her tea and Faith staring blankly into her cup of coffee she had barely touched. They were both thinking, Faith about how things were gonna be once Buffy and company showed up and from the looks of things, Faith knew Willow was likely thinking the same thing, at least from what Faith could see by judging the look on her face. Faith was already certain that Buffy would take the role as the leader, making demands and doing whatever else it is she does when she's in control. But Cleveland was not Buffy's town, it was Faith's and there was no way she was going to let her take that from her, not matter how heavy of a situation they were in.

Faith was itching to get out of the apartment, maybe head out for a nice long run just to clear her head. She knew it wouldn't work. Running was just a temporary fix, the adrenaline rush like a temporary high from a synthetic drug that if she wasn't careful, she'd become addicted to and the thrill would be gone and she would have nothing to turn to when she needed a temporary escape from her mind.

An escape from thinking about Buffy, which is all she'd been trying to do for days since Angel and Willow told her that Buffy and company were coming to Cleveland, status of arrival unknown.

Faith look at the book they'd retrieved from Kraal and the notes tucked inside several of the pages. Careful not to screw any of Willow's hard work she'd done over the last couple of days, she turned to a page near the end of the book and became mesmerized by the delicate swirls that donned each corner of the page, the rest of it blank. All she could think about was how they needed to know exactly what was written in this book, every last word and they needed to know now. Thinking that, she mindlessly traced her fingers over each of the swirls in the corner, feeling the ink slightly raised from the delicate and old parchment paper. As she lifted her finger from the last swirl, the book began to vibrate a little and she dropped it to the floor, jumping up as the pages began to flip towards the front.

"I didn't do it!" Faith yelled, bringing Willow's attention to what was happening.

"Didn't do what?" Willow asked, her mouth full of a bite of her banana muffin. Willow looked down at the book, her mouth open as she watched the last page flip to the very beginning of the book. "Oh. My. Goddess."

Willow picked up the book carefully and they both settled on to the couch, watching as each of the words and the vast array of symbols slowly began to change, each of them turning into English, slowly and one by one. The page flipped on it's own and it continued and the book was still vibrating softly.

"What the hell is happening?"

"Magic," Willow whispered. "What did you do, Faith?"

"I didn't do anything!"

"You were looking through it. You had to have done something."

"What the hell could I have done, Wil?"

"Faith-"

"I touched those swirly symbols, you know the ones on the last page?" Faith said and Willow nodded her head slowly. "Was thinking and wishing how we could just know what was written in the book and then bam, the damn thing started vibrating and pages started flipping and in case you haven't been able to tell, I'm a bit freaked out about this!"

"What's going on?" Angel asked from the doorway of Faith's bedroom.

"The book!" Willow said excitedly. "It's changing! Faith made it change!"

"Not on purpose," Faith muttered under her breath, watching as Angel came over and peered down at the book, watching along with them as the words changed and the page flipped again.

Angel scratched the back of his neck and he smiled at her. "Whatever you did, Faith, this is exactly the turn in events we needed. No offense, Willow, but we were really not getting anywhere trying to translate that on our own."

"None taken," she replied happily. "I can't believe this is happening!"

Willow's excitement was almost catching for Faith. She was happy they were finally getting somewhere and it was because she had been touching the book. Whatever she had done, it had set whatever spell that translated the book on its own. As far as mistakes went, this was one of the good ones. She wanted to feel as excited as Willow did, but she just couldn't feel it no matter how hard she tried.

This was the break they'd been needing since the whole situation had started a week ago. Faith knew she should feel at least a little bit happy about that, but her thoughts were clouding her emotions. Whatever was in that book, it wasn't all going to be good and she had a feeling it wouldn't give them the answers they were looking for. It might not even have the spell that Azri'el had used on all the slayers either. But there was no doubt in her mind now that there truly was a sliver of magic left. All the evidence was right there in front of their faces as they watched the book magically change, translating itself word by word, page by page.

After the book stopped, Willow snatched it up and started reading it, comparing it to the notes she'd taken while trying to translate it. She'd been close on a lot of it, but not close enough. Faith left her to go over the book and went out on the balcony just to get a few minutes alone. Angel wouldn't bother her, not with the full sun shining down on the balcony, and Willow was too into the book to even notice she'd left.

"What a lucky break," Faith whispered to herself as she leaned against the railing.

Luck had nothing and everything to do with it. If it wasn't for her own curiosity, they'd be right where they were earlier with next to no answers and no way to even figure out how to get through this situation alive. They needed to find a way to defeat Azri'el, to restore the slayer essence to all that it had been taken from. They had a long road ahead of them and they'd barely just started.

* * *

Willow spent the entire day going over the book. She even went as far as scanning it just in case it changed back. The book had a lot of answers, but it also left them with a lot more questions. There were spells that Willow had only ever read about, spells that had long since been classified as myth or limited, only to be used in another dimension. She was excited about everything even though the situation was less than ideal.

In the time since the Seed was destroyed, she finally felt that lingering hope that maybe she could bring magic back to their world. In order to do that, she'd need to find a way to recreate the Seed and she knew that was next to impossible.

But not completely impossible.

The book itself was powerful. Willow could feel the bristling edges of magic every time she touched it. It made her miss feeling that power inside of her and she frowned sadly as she closed the book, knowing that it was time for her to take a break. Sighing, she turned on a few more lights on the way to the kitchen. It was just after seven and had been dark for a while. She'd been so submerged in the book, she barely even noticed when Angel left with Faith just after the sun had set.

Faith was back already, but Angel wasn't. She was out on the balcony, chain-smoking. Willow knew she was out there because she needed to be alone and she wasn't going to bother her. Willow frowned when she opened the fridge, it nearly empty aside from a few bottles of condiments, beer, and the container of pigs blood. Scrunching up her nose, she walked over to the phone and picked it up, dialing the number of the Chinese take-out place that they ordered from regularly.

After she ordered their usual, she hung up the phone, jumping when it rang immediately. She picked it up and placed the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

Silence on the other end and then a click. Willow frowned and hung the phone back up. Shrugging it off, she grabbed the jar off the top of the fridge and took out a couple of bills to pay for their take-out when it arrived. Willow tried to straighten up the small kitchen, trying to keep her mind off the book. She needed a break and a break didn't mean to keep going back to it, reading it and absorbing every last word written in it.

But she couldn't stop thinking about the things she'd read in the book, the spells, especially the one with the extraction spell. It was an elaborate spell that was done in steps over the course of days, weeks maybe. The sheer amount of devotion one would have to have to make this spell work was on a scale she'd never, not even at the height of her power, would've been able to master to the perfection that Azri'el had done. Then again, he was a demon, a powerful one and the spell could've been done in his home dimension for all she knew.

Willow sighed and rubbed her throbbing temples. They knew what the spell was, the steps, the ingredients, the words that had to be chanted. She had studied it, all fourteen pages of that spell alone, trying to figure out a way to reverse it. All they had to do was find the orb and figure out how to reverse it while keeping Azri'el in the dark about what they were doing. Easier said than done, with or without magic. Even Willow knew that they'd be taking great risks even just trying to locate the orb. There was no telling if it was anywhere on earth or in another dimension, like the one that Azri'el had come from.

Yet, they knew that there wasn't enough magic left in the world for even a demon as powerful as Azri'el to cross back over, return to his home dimension. He was trapped there, indefinitely from the looks of things. What Willow wanted to know was that answer to the ultimate question; what does he gain for stripping the slayers of their essence aside from doing exactly what the First wants him to do?

She had seen the toll it had taken on Faith and it'd only been a week. She'd seen Faith struggle with emotions, powerful emotions she always had a good handle on before. It was hard to watch Faith struggle, to see her how she is now, looking so beaten and broken inside. It made her wonder if it was the slayer essence that had made Faith stronger all around, but she also knew that wasn't true. She knew Faith well enough to know that she was one hell of a strong woman and this situation just made her fall off the beaten path she's been on her whole life.

The phone rang again, pulling her from her thoughts. She shook her head and walked back into the kitchen, hesitating for a moment before she picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

* * *

Faith paced along the balcony and took a long drag of her cigarette, inhaling sharply and she watched Willow as she spoke on the phone, her back to the sliding door. She'd been out there since she got back in from the quickest patrol she'd ever taken, sent back home by Angel like she was a child being grounded. She almost had the vamp, but all it'd taken was one wrong move and she almost ended up being dinner. If Angel hadn't been there, well, she knew how it would've played out in the end and was trying hard not to think of the worst case scenario.

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. It'd been one hell of a long day and it was far from over yet. She had to hand it to Willow. She'd spent all day going over the book after it had changed and she found some answers, loose answers, but they were more than what they'd had before today.

All she wanted was to be out there on patrol with Angel. They had gone out in search of Kraal, hoping to find him and see if he had anymore answers. And if he wasn't willing to talk, they were going to make him talk. But that came to a screeching halt when they came across that vampire in the park, stalking two women as they walked their dogs, oblivious to the danger that lurked behind the shadows in the trees.

Faith cracked her knuckles and took one last drag of her cigarette before stubbing it out in the overflowing ashtray. She looked back inside and Willow was still on the phone, but she was facing the door and the look on her face told Faith all she needed to know. Whoever was on the other line, it wasn't good news.

Unable to bring herself to go inside to find out for herself, or to even just crack the door open and eavesdrop a little, she turned around and leaned her arms on the railing. She could hear sirens off in the distance, car horns honking a few blocks over. Below, down on the sidewalks, she could almost faintly hear the chatter coming from the handful of people as they walked down the street. They were all leading normal lives, oblivious to the danger the world was in yet again. Faith had thought a lot that day about being normal, about living a normal life now that she wasn't a slayer anymore. But she knew it'd be impossible. She'd spend her life knowing what was there in the dark and knowing that Azri'el was after her. She'd spend her life knowing that if things were different, she could have made a difference, saved an innocent person from becoming a vampire's dinner or worse, being sired by one and turning into one of those zompires.

She closed her eyes when she heard the door open. Willow stood beside her, pulling her jacket tight around her. It was a cold night, the first cold one of the month, reminding them that winter was coming. Faith looked over at her and Willow's face was expressionless. Scoffing, she shook her head and looked out over the city.

"They're here," Willow said quietly. "That was Dawn on the phone."

"When did they get in?"

"About an hour ago."

"So, what's the plan then?"

"They're heading to the lake house," she replied. "Dawn said they decided it'd be safer for them to stay there rather than here in the city."

"Is Wood aware of this?"

"Yeah," Willow replied, nodding her head slowly. "He's aware. Dawn told me that when she'd talked to him, he thought it was a good idea for them to not stay in the city."

"And? I'm getting a feeling that there's a lot more to this than what you're telling me, Wil. Just spit it out already."

"We're going there too."

Faith burst out laughing, but stopped when she saw that Willow was serious. "You've got to be kidding me."

"We're going to leave as soon as Angel gets back. Oh, and I ordered take-out," Willow said and Faith rolled her eyes. "Faith, I know this isn't the most ideal situation right now, but Dawn is right. It's safer there than here in the city."

"You don't know that."

"No, I don't. What I do know, Faith, is that we can't handle this alone and they need our help just as much as we need theirs. We have to band together and get through this. _Together_."

Faith sighed in defeat. One way or another they were going to have to band together. It was the reason why Buffy and company came all the way from San Francisco in the first place. It was inevitable that this day would come, she had just hoped maybe they'd get another day, maybe even another week. They had made some progress on their own with the book, got some answers on their own. They weren't completely in the dark anymore, not like they had been a day ago.

But she knew that they had information on Azri'el that they didn't have. Buffy had been without her slayer powers for nearly a month and she'd been just going on a week being weak and helpless, being normal again. Willow was right, they needed to band together in order to get through this, to put an end to this situation and then when all was said and done, they could go back to their own lives and move on.

That was the part she couldn't wait for, to go back to where her life had been just a week ago where she was kicking ass and taking names, not a single care in the world. She just wanted to be herself again, to be the slayer she used to be, to feel that power she felt before, coursing through her veins.

But the road was long and there were still a lot of battles to be fought along the way. Faith knew she'd been feeling that weakness, not just in her body, but in her very soul and it crippled her. It made her feel her emotions more and it was getting harder and harder to just shut them all out like she'd done so effortlessly before. At least she wasn't alone and she had to keep reminding herself that. She had Willow and she had Angel. They would be there for her every step of the way and hopefully catch her if she started to fall.

* * *

Angel came back just after midnight, his jacket ripped in several spots, a clean cut along his cheek that had already begun to heal and there was blood on his hands, demon blood. Faith already had the truck packed up with their things and all they'd been doing was waiting for Angel to return.

"What happened?" Faith asked him, following him into the kitchen. He grabbed the container of pigs blood out of the fridge and drank straight from it. "Angel? What the hell happened to you tonight?"

"Ambushed by about twenty vampires and a dozen demons," he replied between sips. "All working under orders from Azri'el. It's not safe here anymore. Not for any of us."

"We know. We're going to the lake house."

"When?"

"Pretty much now," Faith said and Angel took another sip, looking over at Willow who just nodded at him.

Angel nodded and finished off the rest of the container. He looked beaten and worn down, but Faith had seen him look worse, far worse. He'd be five by five by tomorrow night, given he slept most of the day tomorrow. Faith was worried though. The fact that Angel had been ambushed by so many vampires and demons, and looked like he narrowly missed being staked from the gash in his back, it was troubling. He'd become a target, that much was clear and if he was a target, Azri'el knew that Angel was on their side and would likely stop at nothing in taking him out.

Faith couldn't let that happen. She needed Angel around in more ways than one. If he'd been ambushed by that many vampires and demons, there was no telling how long it'd be before more of them showed up and tried to take them all out. They weren't safe there in the city and there was no telling how safe they'd be at the lake house or for how long either.

The world, her whole life had changed in the course of a week-the longest week of her life. It was far from over yet and that feeling of determination, of figuring out how to get her life back to where it'd been, was the driving force inside of her now. One way or another, things would go back to the way they'd been before. It'd be a long and hard road before they got there.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Chapter Six_**

Faith pulled into the long gravel driveway after being on the road for almost two hours. She was tired and Angel was in the bed of the truck, passed out. Willow had fallen asleep shortly after they'd left and Faith nudged her awake as she pulled the truck up behind Wood's white Escalade.

The lake house was an impulse buy, but Giles had fallen in love with the place when he'd first set his eyes on it. He wanted a place to get away from the city every now and again and he wanted a place that would be safe. Faith hadn't been there since she'd came back to Cleveland, but the house itself held a lot of memories she'd never forget. The house itself was rather large, seven bedrooms, two bathrooms and a three car garage Giles had plans to transform into a training room for Faith or any other slayers that came there to stay.

"Hey," Wood said as Faith climbed out of the truck. "What's wrong with him?"

"Got is ass kicked. Close call. Got staked, missed the heart. He's out of it," Faith replied. "He needs human blood."

"Faith-"

"Not directly from the source. I'll head to the clinic in Madison tomorrow and pick up some for him, but for tonight he needs to get inside and rest. Give me a hand?"

Wood nodded his head and helped her get Angel out of the back of the truck. Willow grabbed their bags, making a few trips to drop them near the front door. Angel was mumbling, groaning in pain as Faith and Wood dragged him into the house. It was quiet inside and Faith knew that everyone there was sleeping. Whispering to Angel to stay quiet, they managed to get him down to the basement and on the extra bed that was down there.

"How's the girls been?" Faith asked as she grabbed a few blankets off the shelf near the bed and placed them beside Angel. "They adjusting okay?"

"As best as can be expected."

"All the rooms taken?" Faith asked him, helping Angel get his jacket off. She checked his wound and it looked a lot better than it had a few hours ago. Wood just nodded his head and she sighed loudly, helping Angel lay down on his left side. "Where we gonna stay?"

"I'll have the girls bunk together tomorrow, freeing up a room for you and Willow."

"Guess we're crashing on the couch, huh?" Faith laughed a little and she checked the few windows that were in the basement to make sure they were still sealed and boarded up. "Hey, Angel?" She said and he groggily opened his eyes. "I'm gonna get you something to drink in a couple of hours, okay? Just try to stay comfortable."

"I'm already healing, Faith. I'll be fine."

"You look like shit," she said and he rolled his eyes. "I'll see you in a couple of hours, big guy. Just try to relax in the meantime, all right?"

Wood followed Faith upstairs and into the kitchen. She sat down at the table and sighed, smiling a little when Willow brought her a cup of hot tea she'd just made. Wood made himself a cup and joined them at the table.

"Who attacked him?" He asked. "Random or organized?"

"Organized. Vamps and demons working for our newest big bad," Faith replied. "You guys haven't seen anything out here, have you?"

"Nothing. It's been quiet since we arrived. How has your research on the book you obtained from Kraal been coming along?"

"Oh, the book!" Willow said excitedly and she pulled the book out of her bag and handed it to him. "Faith was touching it yesterday morning and we hadn't really been getting anywhere and somehow she managed to unlock the spell it was under. It changed."

"Interesting."

"It was exciting!" Willow smiled. "But it's still pretty complicated. A lot of the spells in there, they were long since considered to be myths, not to exist or be able to be used in our dimension. I'm working on trying to figure out how to reverse the spell that Azri'el has used on all the slayers, but we need to find the orb before I can try to do anything."

"Any idea on how we're going to locate this orb?" Wood asked and Willow shook her head no. "Faith, you were shown the orb, right?"

"Yeah, but I didn't see anything else but it."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Everything he showed me, I remember like they are my own memories, like I saw it all with my own eyes. All I saw was the orb, blue with those wisps of smoke going into it, the screams-everything else around it was dark, like it was locked away in a box maybe? I honestly don't have a fucking clue."

"A box?" Willow asked and she shrugged. "Is that what you think it was in?"

"Like I said, I don't know, Wil. There was nothing else but the orb and it was glowing."

Willow nodded and left it alone, sipping her tea gingerly while Wood looked through the book of spells. Faith took her cup of tea with her and headed out onto the back deck. Although it was almost dawn, it was still darker than dark. It was always darkest before dawn and the chill of the cold night air hit her as she sat down on the steps. The sounds of the waves licking against the small sandy beach transfixed her and reminded her of the last time she'd been there with Giles.

He was always happy there, at ease. It was a little piece of paradise and it gave him the quietness, the solitude and escape he craved. She remembered sitting out on the dock with him, fishing for hours on an end even though they never caught anything. It was little moments like that she would look back on and remember with a heavy heart. Giles had been everything to her after Sunnydale and even though they had their ups and downs, he was still there for her and _she_ was his slayer, not Buffy.

Faith sipped her tea and stared out at the lake, the water black as the night sky and eerily calm. She heard the back door open and she didn't bother to see who it was. She already knew it was Buffy. She didn't even look at her as Buffy sat down on the steps next to her and sighed heavily. Faith clenched her jaw and took another sip of her tea, hoping that Buffy wasn't out there to get into it. It was far too late-or early really, and she was tired and hadn't slept at all since the other night.

"I heard you guys come in," Buffy said quietly. "How is he?"

"He'll survive."

"It-it was close, wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

Of course Buffy was concerned about Angel. They had some extremely heavy history together and some of it was more recent. Faith wanted to tell her off, telling her she had no right to be concerned about Angel right now, not after she abandoned him when he needed someone the most, and definitely not with her latest boyfriend there at the house. Faith rolled her eyes and kept her focus on the lake, noticing for the first time that the dock that was there the last time she and Giles stayed there was gone now.

Buffy was fidgeting, picking at the small tear in her jeans. Faith cast a quick glance her way and rolled her eyes again. Everything about Buffy's body language screamed that she was nervous just being out there with Faith alone, which caught Faith off guard. She was expecting a completely different side to Buffy, but definitely not something like this.

"You're quiet," Buffy remarked after a few long heavy minutes of silence.

"Don't have much to say."

"I don't believe that."

"Too tired to get into it with you right now, Buffy, so if you don't mind, I'd kind of like to be left alone right now."

"That's too bad," Buffy said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "I came out here to talk to you. There's a few things I need to say to you right now."

Faith scoffed and turned to look at her. There were quite a few things she wanted to say to her too, but she kept her mouth shut. They had plenty of time to get into it with each other, do what they did best. They didn't talk, they argued or they fought it out. The few times they did manage to have a few talks, didn't turn out so well in the end. Buffy was famous for never giving Faith much of a chance to speak, never wanted to hear her out without having to add a few words of her own in there, effectively making the entire conversation more about her in the end.

"I want to apologize," Buffy said quietly and Faith raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I know that when things started with Azri'el, that we should've let you know. You should've known, but I was afraid. We didn't know hardly anything on him at first and I had no idea that it was happening to the other slayers around the world, not until it happened to Kennedy a day before Angel had called me to tell me what had happened to you too."

"Why'd you lie to him?"

"Huh?"

"Angel. Why'd you lie to him when he asked you if you were okay?"

"I don't know."

"That's bullshit, Buffy."

"Can I talk?" Buffy snapped. "I never told the others, not at first. They had no idea what had happened to me until about a week after when I was out with Dawn, Xander, and Sebastian and we were cornered by a group of zompires. I tried to fight, but the whole lack of being a slayer showed right away. If it hadn't have been for Kennedy being close by that night while she was out on patrol, we'd all be dead."

Faith nodded and sipped her tea, her thoughts racing as she waited for Buffy to continue. She was trying to understand why Buffy wouldn't say anything. She knew how it felt, how scared and hopeless, how weak and powerless she'd felt and still did feel. It was scary experiencing that pain and the emptiness that was left over afterwards. She wanted to tell Buffy that she was selfish, not just for keeping it from her friends, but from her too and every one else that had every right to know what was happening to them.

"We'd heard about Azri'el a couple of months ago. We tried to find anything and everything that we could on him, where he'd come from, what he was doing here. We still don't know enough. Some of the things that Andrew found out about this demon can work to our advantage. Azri'el is only vulnerable in his natural state, almost completely invincible when he's taken on another form. When he came to me, he was an old man and looked completely harmless, but he never changed in front of me."

"Did for me, guess that makes me wicked special, huh, Buffy?" Faith laughed bitterly. "You know what I don't get?" Faith asked her and she knew she couldn't bite her tongue for much longer, despite how tired she was and how much she didn't want to get into it with Buffy right now. "You couldn't even pick up the goddamn phone to call Willow when this shit happened to you. You really could care less about her or any of us, huh? You're really nothing more than a selfish bitch, aren't you? The only people that matter to you now are the ones who stuck by your side after all was said and done."

"Do _not_ talk to me about things that you do not understand, Faith," Buffy said angrily and she stood up, but didn't walk away. "I told you, I was afraid of what was happening. I know that it was a mistake, I know that now. I was trying explain things and apologize for my lack of judgement in informing you and the others on this entire situation and you're throwing it back in my face, making it out to look like I just don't care anymore? That's just so _typical_ of you."

"You done yet?"

"God, you really haven't changed, have you?"

"Doesn't matter, does it?" Faith snapped and she stood up, knowing now that no matter what she said, Buffy was not going to get out of her face unless she was the one who walked away first. "You said what you wanted to say and I heard you out. So, are you done yet?"

Buffy threw her hands up and turned her back to her. Faith was about to walk away, but Buffy's hand on her shoulder stopped her. She clenched a fist at her side and stopped. Buffy clearly wasn't done yet and clearly wasn't going to let her just walk away before they both ended up saying things they'd regret later. Not like that was anything new between them.

"Whether you like it or not, we're in this together now, Faith."

"Great, looking forward to it, _B_," Faith replied, fake smile planted on her face and her voice dripping with sarcasm. She shrugged Buffy's hand off of her and walked back inside.

Faith dumped what was left of her tea in the sink, her hands shaking as the placed the empty mug on top of a pile of dirty dishes in the other sink. Buffy had done what she always did, got right under her skin and it didn't matter what she said, it still aggravated her to no end. The house was quiet too aside from the sounds coming from the living room at the front of the house. Faith headed there, careful to be quiet and tried to navigate the dark hallway, the only light coming from the kitchen and the living room up ahead.

Willow sat on the couch, a grey wool blanket wrapped around her. The only light in the room came from the fireplace where the fire was lit but slowly dying. Faith headed over and placed a few small logs on top of the embers and stood back after she shut the screen, watching as the flames licked over the new pieces of wood.

"Can't believe her," Faith muttered under her breath. "Apologized, but made it about her of course."

"What?"

"Buffy," she said as she sat down next to Willow on the couch. "Came out to talk to me. Said she was apologizing only it didn't really turn out that way."

"Oh."

"Doesn't matter, she said what she had to say, too bad I learned how to bite my tongue for the most part and didn't get to say the things I wanted to say to her."

"For the most part?" Willow asked, raising a questioning eyebrow at her. "What do you mean by that?"

"Kind of gave her shit about not bothering to call you when Azri'el got to her a few weeks ago," Faith replied, shrugging it off. "It was nothing really. Like I said, there were a lot of things I wanted to say to her. Figured now ain't a good time to get into it with her. God, we haven't even been here for an hour, Wil."

Willow laughed and leaned against Faith's shoulder. "We should try to get some sleep, Faith. With everyone in the house, it won't be long before they wake up and there's noise and we can't sleep because you know Andrew is going to have a million questions about what we know and-"

"Yeah, I know," Faith sighed and she moved over to the other couch and grabbed the other wool blanket that was folded up neatly and left there for her. "Night, Wil."

"Night, Faith."

* * *

Faith pulled the truck to a stop and killed the engine. She hadn't been able to sleep, the couch was too uncomfortable for her to relax. Just before six, she slipped out of the house and drove to Madison, the town just a half hour's drive away. She'd been there before when she'd come to the lake house with Giles. The man who ran the clinic was an old friend of Giles', ex-Council, and she went there and hoped that he still ran the small clinic and that he had a least a few bags of O-positive in storage.

The man, who went by Dr. Frank, greeted her warmly, remembering her from the one time that Giles had taken her to town to introduce her to him. She ran into him just before he opened the clinic and after vaguely explaining the situation, he told her he'd give her what she'd come there for, but after they had breakfast and some coffee at the diner down the street. Faith filled him in on what was happening to the slayers and with Azri'el, wolfing down her pancakes and breakfast sausage quickly in between pauses in their conversation.

Before she'd left the clinic almost an hour after she'd got into town, Dr. Frank told her he'd keep an ear out for any information floating out there about Azri'el or anything that was remotely connected to him or the First Evil. With the half a dozen bags of O-positive in the small cooler sitting on the seat next to her, she drove back to the lake house, music blasting from the radio and the windows down despite how cold it was outside.

Climbing out of the truck, she grabbed the small cooler and headed around to the back of the house, hoping if she headed inside from the basement door, she'd avoid just about everyone in the house. She could hear them, just faintly, chattering in the kitchen as she used her key and unlocked the basement door.

"Faith?" Angel groaned as she shut the door quickly behind her. "Is that you?"

"I'm here," she said quietly as she approached where he still lay on the bed. "Got you something good to eat."

"I-I can't."

"I know you don't want to, but you have to, Angel. Taking a stake that close to the heart not to mention having your ass kicked? Pigs blood ain't gonna do it for you."

"It'll take a few days to heal, not a big deal."

"It is," Faith replied and she sat down next to him on the bed. She pulled out one of the bags and tossed it at him. "Now drink. Can't risk having you down and out for a couple of days, big guy. You're the strongest one we got here and our only chance in surviving if we get found out by Azri'el or any of his followers."

"No chance I can talk you out of making me do this, huh?"

Faith shook her head no even though she knew that there were consequences for Angel when drinking human blood, whether out of a bag or straight from the source. It stirred a different kind of hunger in him and ever since he had killed Giles, he had little to no control when it came to drinking human blood. But it was a risk they had to take and she knew that Angel knew he was useless being in the state that he was in now.

"How many did you get?"

"Six. Just in case. You're gonna need two right now, two later and..." She tried not to cringe as Angel tore open the end of the bag and sipped from it. "Two to mix with pigs blood, or whatever else we get from the butcher later to wean you off it."

Angel nodded and turned away from her, finishing off the bag and reaching blindly out for another. She handed him one and stood up from the bed, pacing along the cement floor, waiting for him to finish. She wanted to stay down there for a while longer, but Angel needed his rest. She just wanted to avoid going upstairs to face the others and the sound of laughter, especially when she heard Willow laughing, made her cringe.

"How ya feeling?" Faith asked when she heard Angel shuffle around on the bed. She turned and saw he was laying back down and his eyes were closed. "I'll let you sleep."

"Faith?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," he whispered, opening his eyes a little to look at her and he smiled. "But take that with you," he said as he pointed to the small cooler.

With a nod, she grabbed it and headed up the creaky wooden stairs. She had barely shut the basement door before she felt a pair of arms wrap around her tightly. Laughing, she gave Jamie a one-armed hug and eased the girl off of her. Jamie was thrilled she was there, she could see it just from looking at the girl, but she also still looked scared, tired, and everything else in between. Faith put the cooler down beside the fridge and looked around the kitchen. Willow was sitting at the table with Wood, Dawn and Andrew, dozens of books open in front of them, already getting knee deep in research and it was still early.

She didn't see Buffy, her latest beef-stick, Kennedy or Xander, but she knew they were there, she could hear them in the living room talking. That was the least of her problems, she'd just deal with the others later. Helping herself to a fresh cup of coffee, she walked over to the table and took a seat next to Willow, Jamie immediately following her and sitting down in the chair beside her.

"I missed you," Jamie said quietly. "I kept wanting to call, but Wood said it wasn't a good idea to be communicating too much unless it was important."

Faith looked over at Wood, glaring. "Yeah, well, a quick phone call wouldn't have made a difference," she said, mostly to him. "Missed you too, kid. Glad to see you're five by five."

"Barely."

"Something happen?" Faith asked her, her concern for the young girl clear. "You doing all right, Jamie?"

"It's so _boring_ here," she groaned and Faith couldn't help but laugh. "This couldn't have happened during the summer when it was warm and we could've taken full advantage of being here!"

"Don't sweat it," she replied, still laughing at the look on Jamie's face. Typical teenager. Devastated because of boredom and not all because of the situation they were in.

"Faith," Dawn nodded at her, peering over the big book she was currently reading. "I'd say it's good to see you, but considering the circumstances-it's good to see you," she said with a cut and dry laugh. "You look good."

"You too, Dawn."

"Good? She looks fantastic considering what she's been through!" Andrew exclaimed and he blushed when all eyes at the table turned to look at him. "What? I can't give a beautiful woman a compliment?"

Faith chuckled, watching as Andrew turned a few different shades of red and pink before he returned to his normal color. She mouthed 'thanks' to him and sipped her coffee while she peered over at the book Willow was looking through.

"What are we looking at, Wil?"

"Origins of Azri'el," she replied. "Andrew managed to get his hands on this book. It's extremely rare. So rare that I remember when Giles-"

"I found it in a hidden archive once owned by the former Council," Andrew interrupted. "It was during an excursion in Croatia I went on in June. I just happened by chance to come across records that led me to the hidden archive."

"Oh really?" Faith asked, quirking an eyebrow. "And just how hidden was this place?"

"It was in a church, in the basement."

"Right."

"He had to trade some of our more valuable books for this one," Dawn pointed out as she rolled her eyes. "Thank god we have everything backed up or else we'd be stuck," she said as she tapped her closed laptop. "We told him not to do it, but Andrew has a mind of his own and he was determined to find anything on Azri'el that he'd do just about anything for it."

"Hey!"

"Giles would've done the same thing," Dawn continued. "He would've known how much more valuable this book was than the ones that were traded for it were and he would've taken necessary steps to assure that we still had all the information at hand. Despite our teasing, Andy, we all know you did the right thing. If you hadn't gotten it, we'd be in the dark."

"So," Faith said, clearing her throat. "Just what's the big deal about this book?"

"It's the One," Dawn replied. "The first book on demons that comes from the oldest known Hell dimension, including you know, resident evil number one, The First and all It's followers, disciples, things along that line."

"Sounds heavy."

"It is very valuable and very, very rare," Andrew said pointedly.

"I'm getting that. You guys make copies of this thing yet?"

"One step ahead of you," Dawn replied and she pulled out a disc from her laptop bag. She handed it to Willow with a soft smile. "I just finished it before we left. I would've emailed it to you, but I figured since we were coming here to work on this together-"

"Right," Willow nodded and she tucked the disc in her bag.

"How come it's in English?" Faith questioned. "Did it change like the book we have did?"

"The priests who were in possession of it told me that years ago it had changed on it's own and we have reason to believe that it happened around the time that we were in Sunnydale, facing the First and right about the time that Willow used the spell on the scythe to activate all the slayers in the world," Andrew said and he smiled, looking like he was proud of himself for knowing what he did. "So, in a way it did change, but not the way this one did," he said as he pointed out to the smaller book with half the cover gone. "That book is called _incipiens finium_, loosely translated to "beginnings of end". What that means, we're still not sure. Half the cover is missing and it wasn't translated when the spell was triggered."

As much as research normally didn't interest Faith, she knew she needed to find out what they all knew so far. It concerned her on a personal level this time-deeper than personal, it effected her soul, who she was and she needed to find a way to get that part of her back.

Andrew, being the same Andrew she remembered back in Scotland, took charge and started asking Faith questions about her encounter with Azri'el. He took notes, the questions detailed and when she told them of the visions she'd been shown, nobody said a word until she'd finished speaking. The whole discussion became about the orb she'd been shown and she tried hard to keep from showing her frustration when Andrew kept asking her again and again to describe every last bit of it in detail.

Their discussion went on for hours and by the time Faith had enough, Andrew had a few ideas where to start looking for the origin behind the orb that Azri'el had used and had shown to Faith. She felt mentally drained from talking to Andrew, Dawn, Willow and Wood about the visions that Azri'el had shown her. Talking about them made her see it all over again in her mind, just as clear as the moment she'd been shown them.

Faith headed out back for some fresh air and the sun provided a little bit of warmth against the cool, crisp air outside. Since early that morning, she hadn't seen or spoken to Buffy and she was surprised she hadn't come in to join in on the discussion at all. She kept hearing her speak, here and there, so she knew she'd been in the house the entire time. It made her wonder if she was purposely avoiding her now.

"That was pretty intense," Jamie said, joining her on the back deck. She'd been in the kitchen for most of it, listening quietly as she'd sat on the kitchen counter. "The things he'd shown you, how real you said it felt."

"Felt like I was right there," Faith replied quietly. "Intense doesn't even begin to describe it. Not even close."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure, you can tell me anything, kid."

"Carla has been getting in touch with some of the other girls, the ones who used to be here in Cleveland before the Seed was broken," she whispered and she inhaled sharply. "Wood doesn't know and he _can't_ know. He told us it wasn't a good idea to try to contact anyone outside of well, us, right now."

"Why's that?"

"Trying to keep us safe," Jamie shrugged. "If you ask me, he's either hiding something or he's being paranoid as hell."

"Why would ya think he's hiding something?"

"He's been...acting strange. I mean, more so than usual. He doesn't say much and when he does, it's not, you know, normal."

"Not following ya here, Jamie," Faith sighed and she motioned for her to follow her down to where the dock used to be. "What's really going on here?"

"I don't know, maybe I'm just being paranoid too. This is a pretty scary situation to be in right now and none of us are really prepared for whatever can happen next."

"Jamie-"

"The way he just up and decided that we were leaving the house was all of a sudden," Jamie said quickly. "Told us to pack everything we could fit in the Escalade and next thing you know, there's a realtor at the house and it's up for sale, fully furnished except for what we were taking with us. Wood loved that house. Why would he do something like that?"

"I don't know, Jamie. A lot has happened in the last week. Did you try talking to him about it?" Faith asked and she laughed when Jamie pulled a face. "Right, I get it. I also get why you're thinking like this. But, look at it this way, all he's ever done was want to keep you girls safe, right? With Amelia gone, he probably freaked thinking he was gonna end up losing you or Carla and didn't want to take that risk. Look, before shit went down in Scotland with Twilight, he and Giles talked about what to do in a situation like this or similar to this."

"They did?"

"This house? It's not the only one, but it was one that was bought on impulse. Giles loved this place and not just cos of the view and the quiet. It's safe here. In more ways than I can even list off the top of my head. Giles and Wood, they agreed that if anything major started happening and they needed to get the hell outta dodge, they'd leave wherever they were, leave what they could behind and take what they could, and come to one of the safe houses."

"Are you lying to me, Faith?"

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"No-not that I know of."

"Wood isn't Azri'el, if that's what you're trying to get at here, Jamie."

"How the hell would you know that?" Jamie asked, clearly upset and angry. "You said he could change what he looked like. What better way to get in with us is by killing Wood and making himself look like him?"

"Jamie-"

"It's possible, isn't it? I'm not completely losing my mind here, am I?"

"Jamie, shut up," Faith said under her breath and she cast a glance back towards the house to make sure they were still out there alone. "Even when Azri'el changed his shape, the eyes stayed the same. I'm thinking that's one thing he can't hide."

"Unless he's smart and wears contacts."

"Doubt the contacts could hide the way his eyes are. They kind of glow, like tiny flames are there just under the surface."

Jamie stumbled back, hands going to her mouth as her eyes went wide in shock. Faith stepped towards her, raising a questioning eyebrow as she reached out for her. Jamie just shook her off, shaking her head as she dropped her hands to her sides.

"What, Jamie?"

"It's not Wood."

"What?"

"He's here," she whispered, the fear in her eyes so clear it chilled Faith to the core. "He's here in the house and we didn't even know."

"What are you talking about? Azri'el? How can he be here? I saw him change and haven't seen him since. There's no way he could be here with us without me knowing."

"It's him," she said under her breath. "It's _him_."

"Who?" Faith said forcefully, grabbing on to Jamie's shoulders. "Who is it? Tell me."

"Buffy's boyfriend, Sebastian."

Faith was seeing red and she let go of Jamie like she'd been burned. "No," she said shaking her head. "Not possible. Buffy would know there was something-"

"She doesn't know, she doesn't see that he's not human, that he's evil. _You're_ the only one who saw him change, Faith. Maybe he still looks what he appeared to you last or something else."

"You're jumping to conclusions, kid."

"I'm not!" She yelled. "The second they got here and Buffy made the introductions, something felt completely off about him, wrong. You haven't even met him yet, have you?"

"No, don't really care to either."

"Well," Jamie scoffed and motioned towards the house. "Maybe you should."

Faith laughed. Had everyone gone and lost their minds? She had to take a step back and think about it for a second. Jamie had always been able to read people well, just like she could. It didn't take a slayer to be able to figure out if there was something not quite right with a person. It showed, sometimes in their body language, the way they'd smile or it showed in their eyes if one looked hard enough, deep enough.

Deciding she had to find out for herself, she told Jamie to stick close and to be ready to get Angel in a moments notice, or less than that. She led the way, marching back to the house. She walked through the back door, through the kitchen and into the living room, expecting to find Buffy and her beef-stick in there, but was disappointed only to find Xander and Kennedy lounging on the couches, the small TV on and playing an old movie.

With a shake of her head, Faith headed up the stairs quickly with Jamie close behind her. All the bedroom doors were open except for the one at the far end of the narrow hallway. She took a deep breath and asked herself if she wanted to do this. She couldn't defend herself and her last encounter with Azri'el had proven that she was definitely not strong enough to fight him off in any way if he chose to attack her.

She walked quietly down the hallway and listened as she approached the closed door. Faintly she could hear noises coming from inside and there was no mistaking what was going on behind that closed door. She turned to Jamie slowly and frowned.

"Go get Angel," she whispered. "Now."

Jamie nodded and made her way quickly back to the stairs, trying to remain as quiet as she could. Faith turned her attention back to the door and held her breath and listened. She could hear Buffy moaning and it made her insides churn. She almost didn't want to just barge in there, not knowing what exactly she'd be walking in on, but she had to. As long as he was in the house, none of them were safe, not even Buffy.

Faith could hear the others downstairs, they were talking and arguing as Angel came up from the basement. She tried the door and found it unlocked and she shoved it open hard, the door banging on the wall and startling Buffy and "Sebastian". Buffy scrambled to get off him, both were nearly naked and on the bed, heavily making out before Faith had interrupted them.

"What the hell is your problem, Faith?!" Buffy yelled, grabbing the sheets off the bed to cover herself as Faith stalked her way over to a very smug looking Azri'el lying on the bed.

"You think you're so fucking smart, don't you?" Faith yelled as she grabbed him by his tank top. "How long did you think it'd take before one of us figured it out?"

"Faith? What the hell are you doing? Get out of here!"

"Buffy, shut the fuck up!" Faith yelled at her and found herself being shoved, hard as Azri'el rose to his feet. "Fuck, that hurt!" She screamed at him as she picked herself up from the floor. "You fucking bastard."

"Now, now," he said in a smooth and calm voice. "No need for violence."

"Faith, get out of here!" Buffy yelled at her and she grabbed her by the shoulders. "What is your freaking problem? Have you lost your goddamn mind?"

"Just about to ask you the same question, Buffy!" Faith yelled right back and she grabbed her and spun her around to face her latest beef-stick. Before she could say a word, they were both thrown back, Buffy through the door and Faith against the wall. Clenching her now sore ribs, Faith struggled to get to her feet and she grinned. "You never answered my question, Azri'el. How fucking long did you think it'd be before one of us figured it out?"

"That's an interesting question. I always thought it'd be _her_ and far sooner than this," he chuckled sinisterly, licking over his lips as he slowly approached Faith. "For five months I've had her fooled. Not once did she know who or what I am. Even as a slayer, she never got those, what did she call them, demon-y tingles whenever I was around her."

Buffy groaned in the hallway and Faith made the mistake in turning to see if she was okay. Azri'el chose that moment to grab her by the throat and slammed her hard against the wall, the plaster cracking as her head whipped back.

Dizzy, but not out for the count yet, Faith struggled against him, ignoring the pain that she was feeling everywhere. She could see the flickering flames just beyond the surface of his eyes, it burning brighter now since she'd enraged him.

"We're gonna win. Again," she said through gritted teeth. "You know we are."

"Are you now?" Azri'el laughed, the sound of his voice making her stomach turn. "I really _love_ your optimism, Faith! Makes me wonder if I picked the wrong slayer, but hey, live and learn, isn't that the way the saying goes?"

Faith closed her eyes, feeling her chest tighten as her lungs struggled for air. And then she was falling to the floor and she could hear the sounds of a fight erupting in front of her. Groaning, she lifted her head and forced her eyes open and she could see Angel fighting him and looking like he had the upper hand.

"Saved by an Angel," Azri'el laughed, his voice booming so loudly it made Faith's ears ring. "But not quite," he sneered and he threw Angel clear out the window, shattering it.

Faith scrambled to her feet and ran to the window, watching as Angel lay there unconscious on the ground, his entire body smoking. She spun around just in time to see Azri'el blowing her a kiss before he disappeared into thin air.

Ignoring the others as she pushed past them to get out of the bedroom as they all spilled in, she ran as hard and fast as she could down the stairs and out the front door. She grabbed on to Angel's jacket, the tears streaming down her cheeks as she struggled to pull him out of the sunlight. He wouldn't budge. She didn't have the strength. Not even the adrenaline coursing through her body now was enough to save him.

"Come on, Angel," she yelled at him as she hit his chest with her fist. "Wake _up_!"


	7. Chapter 7

**_Chapter Seven_**

"Come on, move! Grab his legs!" Xander yelled at Wood as everyone ran outside just a few seconds after Faith. "Let's go, Wood! He's gonna burst in flames any second!"

Dawn came running out with a heavy blanket and she threw it over Angel, the smoke rising from his body thicker and faster with every second that passed. Faith stumbled back, feeling completely helpless as she watched them struggle to carry Angel into the house. Her heart was pounding, her ears were ringing and tears stung her eyes and it felt like she'd just been stabbed in the heart with a red hot blunt blade and it felt like it was slowly twisting, not killing her yet, just causing her more and more pain with every second that passed.

Willow was right at Faith's side, looking paler than normal. "Faith? What happened up there?"

"Azri'el," she whispered. "He was here."

"He was here? In Buffy's room? Where's Sebastian?"

"He _was_ Sebastian. He's gone now."

"Faith, come on, let's go inside. You're not making any sense."

"Wil," Faith groaned as Willow helped her to her feet. "Sebastian is Azri'el."

Willow stumbled back a little, but still kept an arm around Faith's waist. "He's-he was Sebastian?"

Nodding her head, she closed her eyes, the pain she felt from being thrown several times against the wall hitting her again now that the adrenaline was beginning to wear off. "Fooled her," she whispered. "Fucking fooled her for five months. Guess this is the kind of game he's playing with us, or was until I figured him out."

"How?"

"Jamie," she said quietly, looking over at the young girl as she stood in the doorway, watching them. "If it wasn't for her, he'd still be up there, probably fucking Buffy ten ways to Sunday and she wouldn't even know who the hell he really was. Fucking typical."

"You're bleeding," Willow said softly as she gingerly touched the back of Faith's head where her hair was matted with warm, fresh blood. "Come on, let's go inside and get you looked at, make sure it's nothing serious."

"Wil, forget about me for a second would ya? We got a much bigger situation on our hands than we even realized!"

"I know," she said, frowning as she helped Faith up the few steps to the front porch. "We'll get it all figured out, but I can't have you going unchecked, Faith. You could have a concussion and that's the last thing we need is for any of us to be hurt."

"Angel-"

"He's going to be fine," Willow assured her. "Hopefully. We might need more uh, human blood so he'll be able to recover quickly."

The commotion inside was enough to make Faith's head spin. Angel was on the couch, the drapes in the living room drawn shut to keep out the sunlight. He looked bad, his skin burned in small patches, part of his already trashed clothing burned in several spots, the skin beneath charred black. Wood was force feeding him from one of the bags of blood and he was trying to push him away to no avail.

At the top of the stairs, Buffy sat on the top step, the sheet still wrapped around her while Dawn tried to console her. She was in a state of shock, tears streaming down her reddened cheeks and she was silent, staring blankly down at Faith.

Xander and Andrew came to her side, helping Willow get her on to the other couch. Their voices faded, sounded murky as if she was listening to them under water. She felt dizzy and sick as she sat down on the couch and she could feel Willow's gentle fingers push aside her matted hair, sticky with blood to see where her wound was. And through all the commotion, she could see Jamie standing in the doorway near the kitchen with Kennedy, watching everything that was going on, both of them in a state of shock and fear.

"It's just a small gash," Willow said and she turned Faith's head so she could look at her. "You'll be five by five, Faith," she said with an encouraging smile. "Just a little bump that split open."

"Head wounds are always worse than they look," Andrew said and he handed Willow the tea towel he had in his hand.

"What the hell happened up there?" Xander asked and the room fell silent as all eyes went to Faith. "What attacked you? Where's Sebastian? Is he all right? Did anyone see him up there when Angel was thrown out of the window?"

"Wasn't Sebastian," Faith said and she took the tea towel from Willow and held it to the back of her head. She winced at the pain. "Well, it was Sebastian, but really, it was Azri'el."

"Our big bad?" Andrew asked, eyes wide. "There's no way-"

"Oh yeah," Faith laughed dryly. "The man you knew as Sebastian? Buffy's latest beef-stick, Azri'el aka our latest big bad who has been right under your fucking noses for the last five months!"

Upstairs, she could hear a door slam and there was no doubt in her mind that it was Buffy who had slammed a door, shutting herself out from the rest of them. Shaking her head, Faith pulled the bloody tea towel away from her head.

"Are you people stupid or something?"

"That is uncalled for!" Dawn yelled at her as she came down the stairs. "We are not stupid! We didn't know!"

"Figured since Buffy is always banging the undead, what's another evil guy, huh?"

Dawn attacked her in a rage, grabbing the front of her shirt tightly in her hands. Faith pushed her away, her hands gripping on to her shoulders as she braced for the punch she knew was coming. Xander and Andrew were trying to pull Dawn off of her and when they finally did, Faith smoothed out her shirt and breathed heavily as she stared her down.

"Guys, come on," Kennedy spoke up as she walked into the living room and put herself between Dawn and Faith. "There's no sense in fighting over this." She turned to Faith and frowned slightly. "No, we didn't know, Faith, never even had a reason to suspect anything of him. How could we have known? You're the only one he ever changed in front of, so how could we have known who he really was?"

"That's rich. Taking her side-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Kennedy snapped, her voice so cold and sharp it made Faith reel back. "Do you ever stop and think about the things you say before they come out of your mouth?"

"Not always."

"You really haven't changed, have you?"

"More than you care to know."

"Would you guys just stop?" Willow said, shaking as she stayed at Faith's side. "Why are you fighting over this? Nobody knew! It wasn't just Buffy he had fooled, he had everyone fooled and if it wasn't for Faith, who knows what he could've done. He could've killed us!"

"Whose side are you on, Willow?" Kennedy asked.

"I'm on the side of _good_, Kennedy. How about you? What side are you on?" Willow replied, the tone in her voice angry and all sass. "We can't fight each other, not now. We need to band together. Isn't that why you guys came all the way here in the first place?"

The room fell in silence, everyone sporting a guilty look on their faces for one reason or another. Angel groaned, breaking the silence in the room and Faith looked over at him. He definitely looked bad as she knew he felt, but the blood Wood had force fed him was already working. Wood grabbed another bag and tossed it at him, glaring at him until Angel ripped the top of the bag open and started to drink.

"We're going to need more blood," Wood said quietly.

"This will do," Angel replied. "I just need some rest."

"You need-"

"No," Angel said with a hard shake of his head. "This is enough."

"I'm going to check on Buffy," Dawn said as she slowly made her way towards the stairs.

"Good idea," Kennedy said. "I'll come with. She needs a friend or two right now and not someone who will judge her for making a mistake she didn't know she was making."

Faith laughed dryly and she touched the back of her head. The blood had stopped flowing and was already drying, her hair stiff and damp. She needed a shower, a nice long and hot shower, but she knew that wasn't coming anytime soon. They had to figure out what they were going to do now that Azri'el had been in the house. It wasn't safe there for them anymore. Not for any of them.

Nobody is speaking, but the silence says it all for Faith. She knows that everyone is thinking what she is, that they had to get out, find somewhere else where they'd be safe, even if it's not for very long. She groaned as she stood up and looked around the others still in the living room. She could just faintly hear Dawn and Kennedy upstairs, trying to no avail to get Buffy to unlock the bedroom door and let them in.

"We're in a pretty fucked up sitch," Faith said and she took a deep breath, shrugging off the look that Xander gave her. "We all know it, so I don't gotta say it again. It isn't safe here anymore. I don't know what we're gonna do, where we're gonna go, but we can't stay here."

"Where do you suggest we go?" Willow asked softly. "No matter where we go, he'll find us, Faith."

"There's another place," Wood spoke up and all eyes were on him. "Several in fact, and you know this, Faith. But we're not leaving."

"The hell-"

"You, Buffy, Carla and Jamie need to leave. It's the slayers-"

"Former," Andrew cut in.

"Yes, thank you for that, Andrew," Wood said, rolling his eyes. "It's the former slayers that Azri'el is after, not us," he said and he motioned to the others in the room. "He could've killed any one of us if that is what he wanted, but it's not a part of his plan even though we are a threat to him. We'll stay put, continue with the research and we'll stay in touch."

"So, let me get this straight," Faith said slowly. "You want us to go on the run while the rest of you guys stay here? Is it just me or does this plan seem a little too crazy?"

"Faith," Willow said gently as she placed a hand on her shoulder. "Maybe it's what you need to do right now. You said so yourself, it's not safe here, not for you, or for Buffy, or Carla and Jamie."

"You're crazy, Wil. He's been in this house and there's no telling if he's gonna come back again. What if he does, huh? I don't want to be out on the run and find out the hard way that he came back and killed you all."

Chaos erupted in the living room, everyone shouting over each other and the only one who fell silent was Faith. She could only just stand there and watch them argue over what the right thing to do was, whether it was staying or leaving or having just the slayers leave. They were wasting time arguing about it and she knew it. Nobody knew how long it'd take for Azri'el to show his face, whether it's the one he was wearing as Sebastian or a new one. Faith knew one thing for sure, she wasn't going to stick around to wait and find out.

She knew what had to be done. It was a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach, gnawing away at her until she finally decided to listen to the part of her brain trying to make her listen. She knew one thing was for certain, Azri'el wasn't after anyone but the former slayers and that feeling in the pit of her stomach told her that if they stayed with the others, they'd be putting their lives in danger. And she knew that if they interfered in whatever game Azri'el was playing with them, they'd be dead before they could even blink.

Leaving the others to continue arguing amongst themselves, Faith headed into the kitchen, her head pounding. Jamie was standing by the fridge, blankly staring at the floor in front of her. Faith sighed and stepped around her and pulled the fridge door open. She pulled out a bottle of water and twisted off the cap, shutting the door and taking a step back to look at Jamie.

"What's up, kid?"

"Everything is so messed up."

"You're telling me."

"Carla is gone."

"What?" Faith said, her voice raising in alarm. "What do you mean she's gone?"

"She slipped out when Angel was carried back in the house, said she wasn't sticking around just to end up dead."

"Goddamn it!" Faith yelled and she was so enraged she was shaking as she headed back into the living room. "Got a problem," she said as she pulled Wood away from Xander. "Carla took off."

"What do you mean she took off?"

"She's gone! Jamie just told me she slipped out when Angel was being brought in the house after his little encounter with Azri'el upstairs."

"Jesus," Wood sighed and he looked around the room, taking a moment to stay calm and collected. "Alright, people, we have a situation on our hands we need to resolve."

"Understatement of the year," Xander muttered under his breath.

"Carla is gone. We need to find her. I need everyone in on this and the sooner we find her, the better."

"It's not the first time she's taken off," Faith said, just to clear up a fact the others didn't know. "She's got issues, big ones, but she hides it well. If she took off it means one thing, she's scared. We gotta find her and bring her back, tell her what the plan is-whatever the hell the plan is, I don't know, but we'll figure it out after."

Because there were only two vehicles, Faith was stuck with Willow and Andrew in her truck while Kennedy and Xander piled into Wood's Escalade. Carla couldn't have gotten far, there was really nowhere to run, but plenty of places to hide along the way to the next town. Faith turned left at the road and Wood turned the other way. She watched him drive off in her review mirror and when his SUV disappeared around the curve in the road, she pulled over and put the truck in park.

"What are you doing?" Andrew asked as Faith got out of the truck and motioned for Willow to get behind the wheel. "Faith?"

"We gotta split up. I might not be a slayer, but I'm still quick on my feet and I'm pretty sure I got a better chance than any of you finding her. Just keep driving and keep your eyes open. I'm gonna take a little detour."

Willow drove off slowly and Faith looked around the narrow two-lane road. She'd learned how to track years ago, Giles had taught her during some of their downtime. There was always something that would be out of place, something that would give some kind of a sign in what direction the young girl had taken off in. Faith was mostly relying on her instincts, but they usually never failed her if she focused on the task at hand.

Not seeing any obvious signs, she started walking down the side of the road quickly. It hadn't been nearly half an hour since they'd pulled Angel into the house so that meant that Carla couldn't have gotten that far. Still, she had half an hour on them and Faith knew there was a chance that she could've been picked up by a passing car. She started jogging to pick up the pace and she could just faintly see her truck far ahead on the road.

Faith couldn't believe all that had happened since she, Willow, and Angel arrived there a few short hours ago. It felt like it was far longer and it didn't feel like it was still so early in the day either. And it was a cool morning and she wished she'd grabbed her heavier jacket before they'd left the house. Zipping up her black jacket, she continued to jog down the road, ignoring the throbbing pain in the back of her head as best as she could.

She came to a stop when she noticed the tall, yellowing grass in the open field next to the road had been disturbed and very recently. She turned and walked down the small, steep embankment that led into the field and she followed the bent grass to the edge of a line of trees. She slowed down when she started to see the blood, very faint in the dirt, but there was no mistaking it. She knelt down and touched the small drop near her right foot and it was still warm, although cooling in the cold morning air.

Trying to swallow her fear and thoughts of the worst possible outcome, she continued on and headed into the line of trees. Looking around, she had no idea which way to go. She couldn't see anymore blood, not near her anyway and she groaned in frustration.

"Carla?" Faith called out as she started down what looked like was a narrow path, but overgrown from years of it not being used. "Yo, Carla? You out here?"

Nothing. All Faith could hear was the sound of her boots on the ground, crushing against fallen leaves and small twigs. Deciding to continue on instead of doubling back and heading further down the road, she spotted what looked like a piece of a red shirt snagged on a branch. Jogging over to it, she pulled it off and sure enough it was a piece of clothing, ripped carelessly. She just vaguely remembered seeing Carla earlier and she was wearing a long sleeved red shirt twice sizes too big for her small frame.

"Carla!" Faith yelled out again and she stopped, listening as carefully as she could for any sign that Carla was still out there. "Come on, C! Where are you?"

Continuing on, she came to what looked like a dead end. Thick prickly bushes prevented her from going further and she spun around, looking for any sign of another way she could go. She spotted the blood on the ground, the first since the field. And it wasn't just a trail of drops, it was a pool of blood. Panic washed through her and she searched until she found a small opening in the thick prickly bushes. She came out on the other side unscathed, but what lay in front of her on the ground made her mouth drop open in a silent scream.

Carla lay on the ground, dirty and bloody and unmoving. She wasn't even breathing and Faith knew she was dead judging from the amount of blood that surrounded her body, some of it still trickling out from the deep gashes on her wrists and the slit over her throat. She stumbled, taking a few steps back as she dropped the small piece she'd pulled off the tree that belonged to Carla's favorite red shirt.

The sound of dry laughter made her snap out of the daze she'd fallen into and she grit her teeth as she turned around to see Azri'el sauntering towards her, a bloody dagger in his right hand. He raised it, showing it to her before he licked the blood off it, taking his time and savoring every last drop.

"You killed her."

"Of course I did."

Faith tried to control herself. She was in no state to fight him. Hell, she knew that even with her slayer strength she wouldn't be able to fight him alone.

"How's your beloved vampire? Dust by now, I suppose," Azri'el said, his lips curling into a sadistic smile as he threw the knife towards Faith, just missing her head by a fraction of an inch. The blade slid into the tree behind her with ease and she could do nothing but stare at him.

"Recovering," she replied through gritted teeth. "Didn't kill him. Didn't even come close."

"Tsk, that's too bad. He's quite the annoyance. Always messing with things he should have no part of. His fate? His destiny? He threw that all away when he chose a side and no, Faith, it wasn't the side of the good, like you are thinking I'm guessing. But that's all in the past now, isn't it? He's back where he thinks he belongs, but give me some time and he won't be anywhere but dust floating in the wind."

"You always talk this much?" Faith asked him and she laughed at the look of bewilderment on his face. "Damn, don't know how you managed to weasel yourself into Buffy's life with the way you run your mouth. You like hearing yourself talk, do you?"

"Buffy was, let's see how can I put this, not that much of a challenge. In fact, it was far easier than I could've ever imagined. All I had to do was wait for the right moment and I slid right in, won her heart and her affections. I bet that makes you bitter, doesn't it, Faith?"

"Why would it? With the face and body you're sporting, if I didn't know, we'd have gone a few rounds," Faith replied easily, adding a wink for good measure. "But you see? I would've know you weren't human. Eyes kind of give it away, you know? Plus the whole too good to be true looks you've got, I would've been questioning the fact that you were even real. Can't put it past Buffy though. She always fell for those dark, handsome and mysterious types."

"Yes," Azri'el laughed. "The bitterness. The hate. The jealousy. The love. The need you have for her and the denial about how you truly feel. I love how it just seeps off you in waves and it's all because of _her_."

Faith had to remind herself this was all just a game, a game he was playing with her to get her to break in ways she hadn't been broken in a long time. Everything he was saying was just another way to set her off and he was getting off on it. That infuriated her more than anything else and she couldn't even do a damn thing about it if she wanted to walk away with her life.

"She didn't deserve this," Faith said as she pointed over to Carla's body. "She wasn't even a damn threat to you!"

"You talk about her as if I care about her life. She was asking for it, Faith. She was weak, always weak even with that power coursing through her. I look at it this way, I did her a favor. One way or another, her life would've ended, by my hand or her own."

"And what's the point in you showing your face to me, having this pointless conversation here and now?"

"Because this is just the beginning, don't you see?" Azri'el chuckled and he took a few steps towards her and reached out. She didn't even flinch as he reached past her head and pulled the dagger out of the tree. "You couldn't save her. Just like you cannot save the other one. You can try, but I'll beat you there and I will kill her before any of the others even realize I set foot in the house. As for your precious vampire, this time when I kill him, he'll be dead. Dust. This time, Faith, I won't fail."

"Fuck you!" Faith yelled, throwing a fist towards his face, but he was gone, disappeared. She stumbled forward with the force of the blow she'd try to deliver and she fell to her knees, the tears welling up in her eyes. She punched the ground, swearing and yelling until her hands went numb from the pain.

She rose to her feet and started running back in the direction she had came. She ran so hard, so fast, she couldn't think about anything other than trying to get back to the house and save Jamie and to stop Azri'el from killing Angel. She wasn't going to lose either of them. She couldn't lose them.

* * *

Faith could barely drag herself into the house. The front door was wide open and she knew when she got close enough that it hadn't matter how hard and fast she ran back, she was too late. Gasping for air, she walked inside and the sight before her was something she couldn't prepare herself for. On the floor in the living room, not even five feet from the door, lay Jamie, blood everywhere, wrists and throat slit open the same way that Carla's had been. At Jamie's side was Dawn and she was pale and in shock.

"Buffy tried to-she tried to stop him and she-"

"Where's Angel?"

Dawn shook her head and rose to her feet slowly, the frown on her face worrying Faith to no end. "He's in the boat house, hiding out. Buffy got him out when Azri'el appeared out of nowhere in the living room."

Faith let out a soft sigh of relief. Angel was okay, but Jamie wasn't and the rage inside of her was boiling. Neither of those girls deserved to die that way and she wanted nothing more than to make Azri'el suffer a long, painful death.

"Where's Carla, Faith? Did you find her?"

Faith nodded and moved to sit down heavily on the couch, her heart still racing from running back from where she'd found Carla's body. "Was too late," she said softly. "He got her before I found her."

"Oh no," Dawn said, trembling as she backed away from Jamie's body. "I-I didn't know them, but I know you did. I'm-I'm so sorry, Faith."

"What the hell for? Not like any of us could've stopped him," she snapped. "They were good girls, they didn't fucking deserve to die like this!"

She fought back her tears, but they fell despite her efforts to keep them at bay. They ran hot down her cheeks and she buried her face in her hands. The anger and the heartbreak of seeing those two girls have their lives taken from them was too much. She wasn't close with Carla, but Jamie was different. She'd seen so much of herself in the girl and she held a special spot in her heart for her. It felt like she lost a part of herself and she couldn't bear to look over at her lifeless body, her eyes still open, her mouth gaped open as if she was still about to say her last words.

Faith rose to her feet, wiping away her tears as she headed to the back door. The boat house was barely more than a shed, moved from where it once had sat near the dock to the other end of the backyard. The shade from the trees provided some protection from the sunlight and she slipped inside, quickly pulling the door shut behind her. Angel sat on the floor in the darkest corner and it didn't surprise her at all to find Buffy there with him, leaning against the opposite wall with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Get out," Faith said to her through gritted teeth. "Get out of here, Buffy."

"Faith-"

"No, get the fuck out of here!" Faith screamed at her and it was Angel who grabbed her before she could lash out at Buffy and he wrapped his arms around her and held her. "He fucking killed them both!"

"We tried to stop him," Angel said quietly as he smoothed her hair gently in an attempt to get her to calm down. "I couldn't fight him and if I stayed in there, I'd be a pile of dust. Buffy tried to stop him, but he's too strong and she couldn't fight him."

Faith pushed him away from her, but he was too strong and kept his arms wrapped around her. Giving up, she let the tears fall and she buried her face into his chest, his torn and burnt shirt rough against her skin. When Angel finally let her go, she refused to look over at Buffy, but in the small space of the shed, she didn't have much of a choice.

"I'm sorry," Buffy whispered. "I brought him here. I should've know. I should've known what he was long before now. I made a mistake, a huge mistake. There's nothing I can do or say to apologize or make this better."

"You're apologizing?" Faith laughed bitterly. "Little too late for that, don't you think?"

"Faith, please. Believe me when I say there are no words to describe how sorry I am for letting this happen, for bringing him here when this was supposed to be a safe place. I didn't fucking know!"

Faith raised an eyebrow at Buffy's use of the F word. She knew that she rarely swore, but when she did she was really angry, like beyond angry. Faith sighed and looked over at Angel as he slid back down to sit on the floor in the furthest corner from the lone window that had been boarded up and the door.

"Mistakes happen," Faith said quietly. She was fighting the urge to be a complete bitch about the entire situation. All she wanted to do was throw it all in Buffy's face, make it like it was her fault Azri'el had been there. But she didn't. She couldn't. "We all make 'em from time to time. Doesn't make it any better. Two girls are dead because of that asshole."

Buffy looked like she was on the verge of tears and Faith could almost feel her emotions coming off her in waves, making her feel them like they were her own. She had to get out of there and she slipped out quickly and ran back to the house. The other's hadn't come back yet and they had no idea what had happened since they'd been gone. Faith found her cell in her bag and she pulled it out, her hands shaking.

"I-I was going to call them," Dawn said from where she was sitting on the last step of the stairs. She'd covered Jamie's body with a blanket, the dark blue material soaking up the blood slowly. "I don't know-"

"I'll call them," Faith said and she stared blankly at the keys, the phone shaking in her unsteady hand.

"Is Angel okay?"

Faith nodded and walked out the front door, leaving it open just as it was when she'd got there. She paced around on the front porch for a few minutes and dialed Willow's number. It was Andrew who picked up and all she told him was to come back and she hung up hastily before he could start asking a million different questions she didn't want to deal with right now.

She was about to call Wood, but she saw his Escalade pull up in the driveway. She slid her phone in the back pocket of her jeans and leaned up against the post by the doorway. Wood was the first one out of the SUV and she knew he knew what had happened before he got to the steps and he fell to his knees in shock, a hand gripping at his heart.

"What happened?" Kennedy asked as she ran towards Faith. "Faith, what happened?"

"He came back," Dawn said as she stepped outside, arms wrapped around herself.

"Did you find Carla? Is she okay?" Kennedy asked quickly and Faith shook her head no. "You didn't find her? Where's Jamie?"

"She's dead. Jamie's dead too."

The squeal of Faith's truck brakes pulled her attention over to Willow as she scrambled to get out of the truck. She ran over to Faith, tears in her eyes. She knew too, just as Wood had, what had happened without having to be told. She stopped Willow from going inside, knowing she wouldn't be able to handle the sight of what lay on the living room floor.

Dawn reached out for Willow and they went into the house together, avoiding the living room and the body that lay under the dark blue blanket. Faith walked over to Wood, her face expressionless as she pulled him to his feet. The devastation that shown in his eyes was enough to break her heart even more, but she had to pull herself together. She had to remain strong no matter how much of a blow the girls' deaths were to her.

"Where did you find her?" Wood asked quietly.

"A few miles from here, out in the woods."

"We'll go get her, bring her back here and bury her with Jamie," he said and his voice was full of heartbreak and devastation. "We'll leave tonight. All of us."

"Wood, I-"

"We can't leave her out there. We take care of our own, you know that."

"I know," Faith frowned. "I tried to get back here, but I was too late."

"There's nothing any of us could've done," he said somberly. "We'll leave tonight, find somewhere else to stay and hope it's safe for longer than a day."

Faith nodded and she looked over at Xander. He was just standing by the open door, unsure of what to do. She motioned for him to come with her and Wood and she climbed into the truck with both of them. She had to force the tears down as she backed the truck up and turned it around. Nobody said a word as she drove out down to road, coming to a stop at the field that led the way to Carla's body.

There was just too much death all around, all the time. Faith just wanted it to be over, once and for all. She wanted Azri'el dead and gone, she wanted her life back to where it'd been before. She wanted to know what it felt like to be happy again, and at this point it seemed like finding even a shred of happiness now was going to be harder than finding the tiniest needle buried in a haystack.

* * *

It was Faith who had dug the holes in the ground, side by side near the willow tree. She dug until her arms ached and her hands broke out in blisters and every time someone else offered to help, she told them to go away and let her do this on her own. It was almost dusk by the time she finished and she stepped to the side, holding on to the shovel while Xander and Wood carried Carla's body first and placed it gentle down into the first grave. She couldn't even watch when they carried Jamie's body out of the house and she couldn't watch as they laid her to rest.

Angel came out and stood behind Faith, laying a gentle yet strong hand on her shoulder. Only Wood stayed outside and Xander went back into the house. Willow came out and stood at Faith's side, sliding a hand into hers when she dropped the shovel to the ground. Faith didn't want the others out there. They didn't deserve to be out there. They didn't know Carla or Jamie, not the way she, Willow and Wood did. Angel didn't know them, but she needed him out there standing at her side, her other rock, a tether, just like Willow was to her.

Nobody spoke any final words or shared any memories of the fallen girls. They had died defenseless and at the hands of a sadistic demon who was doing nothing more than playing games with them for his own personal satisfaction.

"Let me," Angel said when Faith moved to grab the shovel from the ground. "Go on inside and get cleaned up."

Willow led Faith inside, not telling go of her hand until they were upstairs in the bathroom, the door left slightly ajar. Faith was numb and she barely felt it when Willow wet the washcloth and started to wipe the dirt and blood and tears from her face and hands and arms. She felt it though when Willow forced her hands under the warm water of the tap, the blisters that had broken open burned.

"Damn, that hurts like hell, Wil."

"I know. Gotta get you cleaned up so you don't get an infection," she replied in a whisper and frowned when Faith just scowled. "Don't be such a baby. I know it hurts. Just hold still, Faith."

She groaned and allowed Willow to take control, forcing her to sit on the closed toilet seat while she got out the first aid kit. She was used to Willow being like this with her, treating her with kindness with a firm voice that meant business. She was used to Willow caring about her well-being, whether she was hurt badly or just a little.

Both were completely oblivious to the fact they had an audience, that was until Faith looked out the slightly open door and saw Buffy watching them from the hallway. The look on Buffy's face said it all. Jealousy. She was jealous seeing how close Faith and Willow were now.

"Hey, Buffy," Faith said, her voice cracking slightly like she had gone weeks without speaking.

"Are you okay?" Buffy asked, unmoving from where she stood in the hallway.

"Sure, I guess. Good thing Wil is taking charge, playing naughty nurse," Faith replied, laughing stiffly at her inappropriate joke. "Sorry, Wil," she frowned when Willow shot her a disapproving look, but continued with bandaging both of her hands, making quick work of it.

"Everyone is just about ready to go," Buffy continued and that's when Faith noticed she had her luggage, pink with wheels and all, by her side. "Uh, I'm coming with you two. There's not enough room in Robin's-"

"Yeah whatever, go load your stuff up in the truck and we'll be down in a few minutes," Faith said, cutting her off, the coldness in her voice jarring her. Buffy left and she looked up at Willow as she taped the gauze together.

"Can't you at least try, Faith?" Willow asked as she put the first aid kit back in the cabinet under the sink. "I know you hate her and want nothing more than for her to not be here, but can you at least try to be nice?"

"No promises."

She didn't know why Willow cared if she was being nice and acting civilized with Buffy. The two of them had barely talked to each other all day, which surprised even her since she'd expected the former best friends to at least have a talk at one point or another. It even surprised her to see that she and Xander had barely even acknowledged each other and the only one who seemed to care enough to talk to Willow all day had been Dawn.

Faith didn't know how Willow felt about all of this or how this was affecting her. They'd been through a lot in just one day and it was clear that everyone was physically and emotionally drained. Faith led the way down the stairs and out of the house, using her keys to lock the door up behind her. Her and Willow's stuff was already in the truck. She'd loaded it up earlier along with some random supplies, camping gear and weapons, not knowing what they'd need in the days ahead.

And the days ahead were of the unknown, their only destination would be a motel in Fort Erie, Canada. With a nearly four hour drive ahead of them, Faith could only hope for them to arrive there without a single problem along the way.

At least she still had a shred of hope that maybe after the day they'd just had, that things might just finally start to go their way. Even if it was just for a little while.


	8. Chapter 8

**_Chapter Eight_**

Faith stood outside her room, the one at the very end of the Gateway Motel. She lit a cigarette and looked out over the tree line behind the motel to look up at the stars in the clear night sky. It had taken them closer to five hours to get there and crossing the boarder had been difficult, even with the connections they had with some of the old members of the Council conveniently working the tolls that night. They caught a lucky break, but there was no telling how long that sliver of luck would hold out for them.

Faith was the only one who had a room to herself and she was fine with that. It'd give her some space that she desperately needed, especially after having to spend the last five hours in the truck with Buffy doing nothing but complaining about the radio and the lack of good songs the stations were playing. Every time she opened her mouth, it grated on Faith's nerves and her hands were sore, not just from the broken blisters, but from gripping the wheel so tight for most of the drive to keep herself from reaching over and smacking Buffy to shut her up.

"Hey," Willow said as she came out of the room next to hers, the room she was sharing with Wood. "You all right, Faith?"

"When is everyone gonna stop asking me that?"

"I was just making sure. You haven't said a word since we left the lake house."

"I'm just so fucking tired, Wil."

"I know."

"When are we headed out?"

"Late in the afternoon."

Faith nodded and took a long drag of her cigarette as Willow handed her a local map with an area circled just west of a town called Crystal Lake. There was no address written down, just a location circled. Faith didn't even recognize the area and she knew it could've have been one of the places that Giles had bought years before in anticipation of having more than just one house to escape to if it came down to it.

She figured it had to be one of Giles' old friends, from back even before his Ripper days. There were only a few that were still alive, as far as she knew. They had scattered themselves all over the world, living a life of seclusion. Faith folded the map and placed it in the inner pocket of her jacket, nestled in there with her lucky stake.

"His name is Nelson Bedford, the man who owns the property. I just talked to Robin and he said that he will be expecting us."

"Nelly?" Faith said and Willow looked at her in confusion. "If he's the same Nelson Bedford, I've met him before. Likes to be called Nelly. He's known Giles since they were kids."

"When did you meet him?"

"Few years back when I first got to Cleveland. He'd come down to visit Giles and man, I've never seen two guys put back a whole bottle of Scotch like that in my life. Thought for sure they'd pass out and never wake up with the amount that they drank that night," Faith said and she couldn't help but laugh at that small little memory, like hundreds of others buried in the back of her mind.

"Sounds like an interesting guy."

"Sure is, from what I remember of him. Most of the stuff the two of them talked about that night was ramblings of drunken men, old friends catching up after not having seen or spoken to each other in over twenty years."

Willow laughed and shook her head. "There's so much none of us even knew about Giles. I think you knew him better than any of us did, Faith."

"Spent a lot of time with him," she replied with a shrug. "He told me a lot of things about himself, stuff he'd gone through during his Ripper days that really made me see him in a whole different light. He'd lost his way for a while, like I did. You'd never known it, but he had some dark demons he was still fighting right until the day he died."

"I-we knew a little bit of his Ripper days, but he hated to talk about anything in his past. I guess he thought it was better if we didn't know."

"Probably thought none of you would understand," Faith shrugged. "Guess he thought I would cos when it comes to people with a dark history like we had, there's far more than what meets the eye."

"You know something, Faith?" Willow said, smiling softly as Faith tossed her cigarette to the ground. "This is the most you've talked about Giles in a long time. Ever really."

"I know."

"It's good," Willow continued. "We need to remember him, even the little things. If we don't, it's easy to forget over time."

"I know. It's still hard just to say his name, you know?" Faith said and Willow nodded in understanding. "Don't think that pain, that emptiness is ever gonna go away. If I didn't have you or Angel in my life, hell if I didn't have Wood too, I don't know what I'd do."

It was Willow who threw her arms around Faith and hugged her tight. Faith couldn't help but laugh. In six months since Willow had been there, she'd gone and turned her into someone who actually liked hugs, liked being touchy-feely if the moment called for it. Just thinking about how she'd changed because of Willow made her hug her right back, just as tight.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but," Xander said as he approached them. "Is there something going on between you two I should be aware of?"

"Not that I know of, Harris," Faith replied, letting Willow go.

"We're just having a moment," Willow said with a small smile.

"Yeah?" Xander said, his tone softening as he shoved his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. "Guess I'm not privileged enough anymore to be in the know."

"Xander-"

"I'm just happy to see you're happy, Wil. It's been a long time."

"Two years."

"Wish when you called you would've talked to me."

"You were never home whenever I called Dawn," Willow replied with a frown. "And things have just been so complicated. A mess really. Besides," she sighed heavily. "Everyone kind of had their own lives worked out after a while. People change and friendships fade."

"But new ones are formed," he said, nodding in Faith's direction. "Not that I'm judging here, no judgement from my end, but you and Faith? Last two I'd ever thought would be close friends after all this time."

"Life is full of surprises," Willow laughed.

"You're telling me."

Faith smiled at the fact that the two were talking. She knew how much Willow missed them all, especially Xander even though she never said it, she just knew. Faith knew that things needed to go back to the way they were before, where they had each other. She wasn't sure where that left her, but she did know that Willow would never just abandon her because her old friends wanted her back in their lives. Willow was a part of Faith's life, just as Faith was a part of hers and it wasn't going to change, at least Faith hoped it wouldn't.

"Any new women in your life, Wil?" Xander asked and she shook her head no. "No? I find that hard to believe. You deserve to have a wonderful woman in your life."

"I haven't really dated much. And what about you and Dawn? Still going strong?"

"It's work," he replied and shrugged. "It's hard to say where we are. Some days we're good, other days she won't so much as look at me or talk to me. With everything that's been going on with Azri'el and the slayers, she's been focused on trying to find out everything she can. She spends a lot of time with Andrew."

"You ain't worried he's gonna swoop your girl off her feet?" Faith asked him and the three exchanged a look before they burst out laughing. "Right. Like Andy is a threat. What was I thinking?"

"I think he has a boyfriend, but he keeps it on the down-low," Xander said in an exaggerated whisper. "And what about you, Faith?"

"What about me?"

"You seeing anyone?"

Faith chuckled, shaking her head no. "Nah, dated a few guys on and off, never really found the one that did it for me."

"No more get some and get gone?"

"Only when the mood strikes. Hope you're not interested in another go, cos I got to tell you, I ain't in the mood for both Summers' chicks to come after me with a few helluva good reasons to kick my ass."

Xander held up his hands and the three of them shared another laugh. Faith felt this lightness in her heart, something she hadn't felt in a long time, if ever. It was different when she was around Xander. If things had been different in Sunnydale, if she hadn't used him and tossed him out then tried to sucker him into another go which ended up with her trying to strangle him, things between them could've been a lot different. She'd made her amends with Xander years ago though and she knew he had forgiven her for all the things she'd done to him and the others.

After the three of them said their goodnights, Faith headed into her room and locked the door behind her. After stripping out of her clothes and changing into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, she climbed into the bed and closed her eyes the second her head hit the pillow. As exhausted as she was, sleep wasn't easy to come by. Her mind was racing and she couldn't shut out the hundreds of thoughts racing through her mind. They still had a long road ahead of them and it wasn't going to be easy. Far from it. But nothing in her life was ever easy and she knew she'd been stupid enough to think that things were finally getting better before the one thing that had defined her, that made her who she was, was taken from her in an instant.

Faith had to hold on to what little hope she had left. She'd come too far to let it all go now.

* * *

Faith followed Wood down the quiet road, keeping close as the night grew darker. At least this time the ride wasn't a few hours and after they had made a wrong turn, they were only twenty minutes behind schedule. And she wasn't stuck with Buffy riding with them this time, which she was grateful for. It was just her, Willow and Angel in the truck and there had been nothing but comfortable silence since they'd left the motel.

"You sure he knows where he's going?" Faith asked, breaking the silence in the truck over the radio that was playing quietly. "Thought Nelly's place was in the middle of nowhere? That's the way he painted it. All I'm seeing is house after house down this road."

"Wood talked to him again before we left and he gave him detailed directions," Willow reminded her. "He knows where he's going."

"Sure about that?" Faith asked, groaning as she slowed down when Wood did. "He did get us lost few miles back, took us in circles."

Willow frowned, but didn't say anything as they came to a stop. Wood got out of his Escalade and Faith hopped out of the truck, meeting him halfway at the side of the road.

"This is the place," he said as he pointed to the gravel driveway with a rusted chain link fence acting as a gate.

"Ya sure about that? Road looks abandoned and that gate is rusted shut I bet."

Wood walked over to it and lifted the latch. The metal creaked and groaned, but it opened after he kicked it a few times. "House is about a quarter mile from the road. Nelly said it was a tough drive, so stay close but keep some distance as well."

"Got it."

"And Faith? Shut the gate once you're in."

Faith nodded and walked back to the truck and hopped in. "We're here, looks like."

"Are you sure?" Willow asked her. "It looks like nobody has used this road in years."

"Wood is. Guess we follow him and find out, yeah?"

Willow nodded and Faith looked over at Angel, but he looked like he was anywhere but there. She had picked up a few bags of blood before they'd left yesterday and she knew he was hungry yet fighting that urge to drink for as long as he could stand. Faith was worried about him. He'd been healing fine, but it was the fact he had to drink human blood to accelerate the healing process that worried her. She couldn't have him slipping, unable to control the addiction of human blood, not now of all times.

The ride down the gravel road felt like it took forever. Faith stayed close to Wood, but left a few car lengths between her truck and his SUV. It was no joke that the road was in rough shape. At times it was almost too narrow to make it through, low hanging branches hitting the windshield and breaking if she didn't turn quick enough.

After they made the last turn, a large house came into view just up ahead. It was bigger than Faith imagined the place would be and it was old, almost looking inhabitable if it weren't for the lights that lit almost every room and the three satellite dishes perched on the west side of the roof.

"Ah, where is she?" Nelly yelled out as he came out of the front door and stumbled over the porch that ran the entire length of the front of the house. "She here with you lot, isn't she?"

"Who are you talking about?" Wood asked him just as Faith got out of the truck.

"Faith!" Nelly laughed loudly and he motioned for her to come to him. "It's been a while, hasn't it, girl?"

"Few years."

"Look at ya," Nelly chuckled, slapping her on the back before he took a step back to look at her. "Grown into a fine young woman, haven't ya? Rupe would've been proud to call ya that daughter he never had."

"Thanks," Faith laughed nervously and she cast a glance back at the others as they made their way over to the front steps. "Uh, thanks for taking us in, Nelly."

"It was all a part of the greater plan, of course I had to take you lot in. Now come on, get in and out of the cold, will ya? Got a nice fire going in the den and plenty of drinks to go 'round."

"He sure is something else," Willow whispered to Faith as they followed Nelly into the house. "Oh wow."

"Damn," Faith said in awe as they walked into the foyer. The house was in two words, beyond amazing and so not what she was expecting from the looks of things on the outside. "Nice digs, Nelly."

"It's home," he said nonchalantly and waved an arm at them to follow him down the hallway. "Got too much space here. Would've sold, but Rupert and I had an agreement. I'm a man of my word as was he."

They followed him into the den, which was only lit by the roaring fire in the huge fireplace that was on the back wall, flanked by floor to ceiling windows that looked like they hadn't been cleaned in years. While everyone found a seat, Faith lingered by the edge of the fireplace, watching the flames as they licked the wood.

"Lively bunch, you lot are," Nelly laughed once everyone had settled down. "What's your poison, girl?" He asked Dawn, who was closest to where he sat in a well-worn leather arm chair.

"Uh-"

"Tea?" Xander offered and Nelly slapped his thigh, laughing heartedly.

"Tea is hardly poison," he bellowed. "But if it's tea you want, the kitchen is down the hall to the left. Can't miss it. Don't mind the mess. Fired my housekeeper just last week. Thieving whore she was. Tea'll be in the cupboard by the stove if I recall correctly."

Dawn and Xander nearly ran from the den, leaving the rest of them there with Nelly. Faith already knew him and knew what to expect. He was loud and boisterous despite his small stature, his bald head and a mouth of missing teeth. He was a straight-forward, say it how it is kind of man and she had learned during that visit she'd first met him, that he pretty much didn't have any kind of censor. Whatever crossed his mind, past his lips without a second thought.

Andrew was the one who told Nelly the story of what had been happening, since Wood hadn't told him too much over the phone. The room was silent aside from Andrew speaking and Nelly seemed to be hooked on every word. Even when Andrew over-exaggerated a few minor details, Nelly would sit forward in his chair, a glint in his eye that bordered on intrigued and amused.

Faith hadn't moved from where she stood by the fireplace, but she did make a point in looking around at the others as Andrew spoke. Willow and Buffy sat on the smaller couch, Kennedy sitting on the arm to Buffy's right. Angel was on the other couch, seated beside Andrew who was completely into telling Nelly every last detail that they knew about Azri'el and all the events that had happened the day before. Faith couldn't read Buffy that well, but she looked positively bored out of her mind. Willow on the other hand was becoming as engrossed in Andrew as he spoke as Nelly was, leaning forward during the crucial details as if it was the first time she was hearing it.

When Andrew started to repeat himself, too engrossed in his own storytelling, she slipped out of the den and headed down to the kitchen. Dawn and Xander were still in there, Xander poking through the hundreds of cupboards in the large kitchen while Dawn made up a tray with tea cups, the teapot and a plate of cookies.

"There's something about him that doesn't rub me right," Dawn said, mostly to Xander since she hadn't noticed Faith had walked in. "How Giles was ever friends with a man like him is beyond me."

"Known each other since they were kids," Faith said and she snatched a cookie off the plate. "He's a little out there, sure, but right now he's someone we can trust and this place is safe."

"For how long?" Dawn asked. "We thought the lake house was safe."

"Would've been if Buffy hadn't-"

"Stop it, Faith," Xander interrupted, placing himself between Dawn and Faith. "It was a mistake. Granted, a huge one, but a mistake nonetheless. It's over and done with."

"Over and done with?" Faith laughed bitterly. "Two girls lost their lives because of this mistake, Xander. So no, it's _not_ over and done with. You might be willing to forget what happened yesterday, but I can't and I won't. Those girls? You didn't know them, but I did. I won't stand down and let you act like their lives meant nothing."

"I didn't mean-"

"Next time you open your mouth and talk about those girls like they were nobody and nothing, think before you speak. Their lives had meaning. The might not have been notable slayers who saved the world a lot, but they held their own when it came down to it."

"Sorry," Xander muttered under his breath, but despite the half-hearted apology, he looked sorry. "Didn't mean anything by it. I was just saying that Buffy made a mistake-"

"You're always defending her and taking her side. Don't you ever get tired of it? Don't you ever get tired of being her little lap-dog?" Faith asked, the bitterness clear in her voice and it made Xander take a few steps back.

"You're just jealous that she has someone who will be there for her when she makes these mistakes, unlike you who had nobody and you went and turned all evil and started killing people!" Dawn yelled at her and Xander clamped a hand over her mouth which she promptly shoved away. "Don't! I'm just saying exactly what you're thinking, Xander!"

"This is ridiculous," Faith laughed, throwing her hands up in the air. "I didn't come here to listen to this. Clearly you people still haven't grasped the concept of leaving the past behind and moving forward, so fuck this and fuck you."

Faith didn't give either of them a chance to say another word. She walked out of the kitchen and headed down the long hallway to the front door. She walked out into the night, slamming the door shut behind her. She was shaking and finding it harder and harder to keep her emotions in check and her anger under control.

Faith stormed down the front steps and headed to her truck, stopping to kick a small, nearly dead bush at the side of the gravel driveway. She didn't stop until the bush was trampled and broken and even then she gave it one last kick, still feeling that anger boiling in her blood.

"What did that bush ever do to you?"

Faith spun around at the sound of a man's voice she didn't recognize. Less than ten feet away a man who couldn't have been much older than thirty, cautiously approached her.

"Who are you?"

"Colin. Nelly's nephew. You must be Faith."

"How'd you guess?" Faith asked, narrowing her eyes at him as he came closer.

"Beautiful, dark hair, dangerously aggressive with hefty trust issues. Ring any bells?"

"Not the words I'd use to describe myself, but sure."

"Uncle Nelly talked about you a lot after her came back from his trip to visit Rupert in Cleveland. If I didn't know any better I would've thought the old man had a crush on you," Colin laughed and it was almost the same kind of laugh that Nelly had, but not as loud and boisterous and minus the heavy English accent. "Didn't mean to startle you. Was just coming back from a walk and saw you and your friends had arrived. Thought before I headed to my cabin, I'd stop in and introduce myself."

Faith narrowed her eyes at him again as he reached out for her hand. She didn't return the gesture. She wasn't sure she trusted this man and how could she after Azri'el had passed himself off as Buffy's latest beef-stick for months before she ended up being the one that found him out.

"I'm guessing my uncle was right about you," Colin said easily, backing up a little and he smiled a friendly smile, trying to break Faith away from behind her wall she'd put up between herself and him. "I'm sure there'll be other opportunities for us to have a proper conversation. I should go on my way and let you continue beating that poor defenseless bush."

"Hey," Faith said once he started to walk away. "Look, I ain't trying to be rude here, but we're knee deep in a pretty serious situation and the last place any of us thought we'd end up was here."

"You mean in Canada," Colin quipped. "Typical Americans. Different country, sure, but pretty much all around the same. Just a tip?" He said with a boyish smile that made him look far younger than he likely was. "We're quite a bit friendlier up around these parts. Anyone who comes through town is considered a neighbor, a friend, no matter what your real story is."

Faith couldn't help but laugh. All the anger she'd been feeling just moments ago pretty much disappeared. She reached out for Colin's hand and gave him a firm handshake. She could read people well and even in the darkness of the night, she could tell that Colin was not a threat and that he was not Azri'el or even a demon for that matter.

"Sorry," she said as she let go of his hand. "Like I said, we're all in a pretty deep sitch and I'm kind of on an edge these days."

Colin just smiled at her. Even in the darkness and the only light coming from the house, she could tell he was a handsome man, a little rough around the edges sure, but handsome regardless. And there was just something about the way he smiled, it reminded her almost of the same way that Giles would smile when they used to joke around and he was just being polite and going along with it.

"How many of you are staying?" Colin asked her as she pulled out her pack of cigarettes. She offered him one which he took.

"There's nine of us."

"But there had been more?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry for your loss," Colin said with a frown. "That couldn't have been easy. Death never is. Whatever it is you are all running from, hopefully it is safe here for you."

"Hope so too."

After they said goodnight, Colin headed down the narrow path that went through the trees on the east side of the house and Faith busied herself bringing the bags from her truck and the Escalade to the front door. It seemed to have taken her forever and she opened the front door, kicking most of the bags inside since she didn't seem to have the energy to do anything else.

She eventually joined the others in the den and the uncertainty in the air that had been there before was gone. Everyone was laughing at a story that Nelly was telling them about his school days with Giles and to Faith it felt like she'd walked into a different time, a different place. Even Angel looked happy as he laughed with the others, something that was so very rare in him especially when it came to talking about Giles.

"Faith!" Nelly laughed and he stumbled over towards her, the smell of Scotch now heavily wafting off him. He handed her a small glass, whisky on the rocks. "Thought you could use a drink, girl. Where have you been? Never mind that. Come, drink and be merry if only for one night."

"We're just about to claim rooms," Willow said as Faith took a seat next to her on the couch. "I heard the rooms near the bathrooms are the ones to stay away from," she said in low voice and Nelly erupted in laughter.

"The pipes bang, especially at night," he chuckled. "Old house, what have you."

"Thanks for the tip."

Faith wasn't sure what had happened in the half an hour she'd been gone, but whatever it was, whatever had lifted the unsureness and the tension in that room, it made her feel if not just a little bit relieved. Leave it to Nelly, a man who was virtually a stranger to all of them, to make them feel at home in his home, to make them feel like the outside world was a different reality just beyond reach, where there in that house there was nothing to threaten them, nothing after them, and nothing to bring them down any further than they already were.

* * *

Faith sat on the double bed in the room she'd ended up with. She hadn't joined the others when they headed upstairs to find a room to call their own while they were there. She had waited, let them take claim and would settle for whatever was left. It was past midnight and the house was quiet. Everyone had called it a night not even an hour before and she had retreated to her room, only saying goodnight to Nelly and a very drunk Willow with no Angel in sight.

A soft knock on her door pulled her away from her thoughts and she rose from the bed, slowly approaching the door to unlock it. She expected Willow to be on the other side, unable to sleep because she'd had a few too many drinks to handle. She even expected maybe Angel, but she definitely didn't expect to see Buffy standing there in the hallway holding two cups of what she could see was hot chocolate.

"What's up, B?"

"I couldn't sleep and I thought maybe we could talk."

"This gonna end up with us fighting and screaming at each other? Cos I'm not so sure that's gonna go over so well with everyone else that's trying to sleep right now."

Buffy didn't say a word as she handed Faith a mug and stepped past her and into the bedroom. Since Faith had been sitting in the dark, Buffy flipped on the switch, the light on the ceiling fizzling a few times before staying on in a dim glow. Faith could only shut the door behind her and she felt like she was frozen where she stood by the door. She watched Buffy as she wandered around the surprisingly spacious bedroom before she settled down on the edge of the bed near the headboard and let out an exaggerated sigh.

Faith took a sip of her hot chocolate, but it was far too sweet and too thick for her liking. Barely managing to swallow that first sip, she placed the mug on the dresser and crossed her arms over her chest.

"We never get off on the right foot, do we?" Buffy started and that made Faith laugh a little. "Most times we see each other after a period of being apart, it's one or the other greeting with a hard right hook."

"Guess some things never change."

"Faith, please don't start," Buffy frowned and she took a sip of her hot chocolate and pulled a face. "Wow, that's either way too sweet or it's stale beyond belief."

Faith stifled her laughter as Buffy placed her mug on the bedside table. She also stayed quiet since it was Buffy who had came to her to talk and she was going to let her say whatever it is she needed to say to her and hopefully she wouldn't lash out and say something stupid right back to her that sent them hurling about a hundred feet backwards from where they already were.

"I already tried to apologize once and I didn't come here to apologize again," Buffy stated and Faith crossed her arms over her chest, her face falling into an expressionless void. "I made the wrong choice. Several in fact and I'll admit that. I can't take those choices back now. It's cost a few lives already and I never wanted it to get to that point. I never _thought_ it'd get to that point. I know how much those girls meant to you, Faith. I can't even begin to know what you felt or what you thought when you saw them after what Azri'el had done to them."

Buffy shook her head and stood up and began to pace the floor near the bed. Faith didn't move from the spot she was rooted to. She wanted to, but she couldn't seem to. She could only just stare at Buffy, watching her as she paced the floor and looked everywhere but right at her.

"I know we all have made choices and mistakes that we regret. Nobody is perfect. Not you, not even me. The last time I saw you, I felt so many things, but you know what I felt the most?"

"Jealousy?"

"I was envious," Buffy said and she frowned as she stopped pacing to stare at Faith. "I also hated that you had become Giles' slayer and that he had stopped caring about me long before he died."

"Not true," Faith said in a hushed whisper. "Never stopped caring about you, B. Might've never shown it, but he didn't stop."

"When his will was read-"

"If this is about him leaving everything to me and how you're still pissed about it, I don't want to fucking hear it right now."

"It's not! God, Faith, I cared then that he basically had written me out of his life, but I understand now why he did what he did, why he chose you instead of me."

"And why's that? Enlighten me here, B, cos you know something? I still haven't figured it out for myself."

"Because you deserved it!" Buffy almost yelled out, but controlled herself and the volume of her voice. "You deserved it because aside from him, you had _nothing_, Faith, and he wanted you to have something or everything that you never had. I see that now."

Faith stood there feeling a little shell-shocked hearing those words come out of Buffy's mouth. Of all the things she could've imagined that Buffy had come there to talk about, this didn't even make the cut.

"Giles loved you," Buffy said and her voice was soft, a trickle of emotion in there that Faith had never heard from her before. "Giles loved you so much, Faith and I never understood why. I never understood why he loved you the way he did, more than he ever loved me."

"What changed?"

"It was the things that Nelly talked about tonight," Buffy replied. "The way he talked about Giles, the way he talked about you and he'd only met you once. Everyone has seen you in a different light, one way or another. I never gave you that chance because I hated you."

Faith ran a shaky hand through her hair, unable to believe the conversation they were having was actually happening. Then again, Buffy had always been unpredictable and she'd had a few drinks with the others that night, although she hadn't partaken in the half a dozen round of shots that Nelly passed around like they were nothing more than water. Even still, Faith wondered if it was the small amount of alcohol that she had drank that had made her loosen her tongue just enough to talk to her like this. They never could just talk like this even though they'd had their few very small moments over the years.

"The thing is, Faith, I never really hated you."

"Right."

"You infuriate me to no end."

"Already knew that."

"You're still an asshole, even now when I'm trying to talk to you like a normal human being."

"And you're still a self-righteous bitch who has a stake wedged so far up your-"

"Stop," Buffy said in a shaky voice. "Just stop, Faith. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of the way it always has been between us."

"Ain't been no other way. So how is it supposed to be, Buffy?"

"I...I don't know anymore."

"Look, Buffy, I'm beat so why don't we pick this up tomorrow or something?" Faith said as she reached for the doorknob.

"Can't we just start over?"

Faith had to do a double take. Was Buffy pulling one over her? Reigning her in, making her trust her again just so she can turn it all around and slap Faith square in the face and make her feel like a complete failure and a loser again? She'd done it before and Faith couldn't put it past her that she'd do it again, even in a moment of weakness.

"Don't know about that, Buffy. Ain't gonna be easy."

"Nothing ever is, is it?"

"You and me? We ain't ever gotten along. Been civilized at the best at the times we needed to be, but other than that?" Faith scoffed and shook her head. "You and me? We've never gotten along and pretty sure we're not ever meant to."

"We're not the only Chosen One's anymore, Faith. There's not just two of us that aren't supposed to exist at the same time anymore. Granted, the tables have turned for now, but it's been this way for a few years now and we still haven't-we still haven't tried to start over."

"Let me get one thing straight here," Faith said and she stayed exactly where she'd been standing since Buffy came into her room. "You want to start over. Make amends, so to speak and if it wasn't for the situation we're in, would you even want to do this?"

"Don't expect me to answer that. Not now."

Faith clamped her mouth shut, knowing now was not the time to say what was on her mind. This was what she had wanted, years ago-not now-was for Buffy to come to her, wanting to start over, have a second chance, on her terms. Faith rarely ever got what she wanted and when she did, she doubted that it was even real. If it looked or sounded too good to be real, it usually always was. It was one way of thinking that she could never shake.

And just like that, all the things she ever felt when it came to Buffy, from hate to love and back again, it all came rushing back and she was powerless to stop it.

And she remembered what Angel had told her when she'd been nursing him back from the brink of insanity: when heroes fell from their glory, from their power, they cling to the only ones who understood the pain, the loss, and they would find strength and solace and love within each other through it all.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Chapter Nine_**

Three weeks had passed since they arrived at Nelson Bedford's house, seeking an escape, a safe house that would give them the time to gather the information they needed against Azri'el. Three long weeks of researching and very little of anything else. Three weeks of none of them other than Nelly or Colin heading into town to gather supplies and food. Three weeks of torture, as Faith saw it, since she was essentially banned to the property as were the others until further notice.

Yet in those three weeks, a lot had changed. So much that it had Faith trying to wrap her head around it most days. Old friendships were found again, mostly that between Willow, Angel and the others. New friendships were formed, with Colin and Nelly, Colin becoming particularly close with Faith and Andrew, of all people. Even Faith was on what at best she would call an even ground with Buffy, that talk they'd had that first night they were there in Crystal Beach had paved the current road they were on. They weren't exactly friends, but they weren't enemies. They were treading that fine line in between, a little more than acquaintances at best.

It was the first week of December now and the weather had gotten colder. The first snowfall of the season had fallen the night before, blanketing the land in a few inches of soft, fluffy white snow that even a night later, sparkled in the light of the full moon.

The others were in the kitchen, discussing that days finds after hours of research over one of Colin's hearty home-cooked meals. Faith was out on the front porch, shivering as she nursed a beer and smoked a cigarette, her first of the day. She'd came out there counting on getting some time alone, which was pretty rare she'd quickly figured out after a few days of them being there. And just like always, after a few minutes, the front door opened and her little escape, her moment alone was taken from her just like that.

"Aren't you hungry?" Willow asked, pulling the heavy jacket she had on tightly around her as she stepped outside.

"Ate earlier."

"Oh. How come you're out here?"

Faith shrugged and took a drag of her cigarette. "Needed a minute or two alone."

"Right."

"Can't take the message, huh?" Faith chuckled, no malice in her voice despite how bitter her words might've sounded to anyone else but Willow. "Bet it's nice to have the gang all back together, yeah?"

"It's never going to be the same, but yeah, it's nice," Willow said and she smiled a little, it fading quickly when Faith rolled her eyes. "What's with you lately?"

"What do ya mean what's with me?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Be better if you explained exactly what you're talking about here, Wil."

"Or the more reasonable response would be..." Willow trailed off and she shivered, trying to pull the jacket tighter around her in an attempt to warm herself up. "You know what I mean, Faith."

"Yeah, I know."

"No, you don't know and that's why you're being all avoid-y lately. So, right now? As freezing as I am right now, it's best friend heart-to-heart time whether you like it or not."

Faith laughed and stabbed her cigarette out in the ashtray that sat on the railing. "I'm not being all avoid-y, Wil. What we're all feeling? It's cabin fever. We ain't left this place since we got here and in a few days, it'll have been a month and I don't know about you, but I'm itching to go for a drive just to get outta here for a couple hours, you know?"

"Then let's go for a ride."

"Not a good idea."

"Plenty of roads on the property. I'm sure we'll be safe," Willow replied and she held out the keys to Faith's truck. "It's not exactly getting away right now, but it's better than nothing, right?"

"Guess so."

They climbed into Faith's truck and sat in silence while the truck heated up, the radio on low, faintly being heard over the rumble of the old engine. Faith headed for the narrow road that she knew led around the property, all seventy acres of it. She'd rode it just once before, with Colin and she could barely remember half of it since they'd smoked a spliff halfway through and spent most of the time laying on the hood of her truck, staring at the stars in complete and utter silence.

Faith drove for a good ten minutes, keeping her speed down and being mindful of the many potholes in the gravel road. She came to a stop at what she did know was the last turn before the road circled around and headed back to the front of the property. She put the truck in park but didn't kill the engine. It was far too cold to sit there shivering to death.

"I'm gonna ask you again, what's going on with you lately, Faith?" Willow asked and she turned off the radio completely, leaving them in complete silence aside from the slight puttering of the engine. "You've been so distant. It's like you've become a completely different person. This is me, Faith. You used to be able to talk to me about just about anything. Except Buffy."

"Always about her in the end, ain't it?"

"Is it?"

"Just when I thought things were going good for once in my life, it all turned around into this," Faith said and she gripped the steering wheel with both hands tightly. "Then she comes back cos we're in a heavy situation and there's no way we're getting through this without her, right? One way or another, she's gotta be involved. Doesn't matter how much time has passed, she's always gonna be right there in the thick of things."

Faith laughed and shook her head, feeling like she was back in prison and talking to the shrink there even though even then she'd refused to ever talk about Buffy. It really all stemmed back to her, at least from the day she first met her in Sunnydale and onwards.

"Keep thinking that a lot of it is her fault. The whole Twilight thing? Would it have been as bad as it was if she and Angel didn't fuck like rabbits, created their own universe that she abandoned and then Angel killed Giles because what? Because why? I don't even know. Deep down I keep thinking it's her fault. Maybe it is? Maybe I'm just trying to find someone to blame. Whatever. I know it's not her fault though. Always want it to be. Always ask myself why that is."

Faith gritted her teeth and she couldn't even bring herself to look at Willow right then, instead she focused on her hands gripping the steering wheel, flexing her grip and watching as they would slowly turn white the harder she gripped the wheel.

"No matter what I ever did, never could get her out of my head and out from under my skin. Even when things were going good for us in Cleveland, when we thought we were finally winning the fight, good versus evil and all that, I still thought about her and she _still_ drove me completely insane."

"Because you're in love with her."

"Exactly. Wait, what?"

"You're in love with her," Willow stated calmly. "You don't want to be, but you are."

"Why does it gotta be that way? I didn't ask for any of this."

"Sometimes things are just the way they are. Fighting it doesn't help. Kind makes you go all crazy," Willow said as she tapped the side of her head.

"Angel said the same thing and I completely lashed out on him, you know? Why ain't I doing that now?"

"Because it's me?" Willow offered and she smiled when Faith looked at her. "Just talk to me, Faith. You trust me, don't you?"

Faith didn't say anything as she dug her short nails into the leather of the steering wheel. Her mind was racing and everything she'd been pushing down for so long was rushing to the surface so quickly she couldn't stop any of it.

"I don't know what to call it, don't know if it's that or something else. Never felt this way about anyone before. Always thought, before I went to Sunnydale, that I'd never fall in love, that I'd never feel that click, that one that feels so right and so fucking wrong because it's _her_."

"It's not wrong."

"It is!" Faith yelled. "It is wrong! It's wrong in every single way! I hate to love her and I love to hate her. No matter which way I look at it, at the end of the day, _nothing_ has changed. She can stick a knife in my gut, she can beat me to hell and back, I went to jail for her because that's what she wanted and I'd go back again if she told me to. She can even _kill_ me and I'll still fucking love her! What kind of fucked up logic is that?"

Faith was shaking, desperately trying to keep all her emotions in check, but she'd thrown that all out the window as soon as she opened her mouth. She was starting to think that maybe going for a run would've been a better idea than this. And she wasn't sure when she broke down or when Willow wrapped her arms around her and just held her, but when she opened her eyes, her heart racing, her ears ringing, tears flowing freely, it was like she'd stepped back into her own body and she was feeling everything she had tried so desperately to shut out for so long.

She had never been so open with anyone in her life, not even with Angel and she'd revealed a lot to him, but never anything close to what she'd just told Willow. It was all out in the open now and she expected Willow to judge her for the way she felt, the things she thought, but instead Willow was just holding her close, holding her tight, whispering to her that everything was going to be okay.

"Even when you put on that façade of hating her, I knew otherwise. I don't think I ever realized that until I started spending more time with you, seeing how you'd react if her name was even just as much mentioned to you. It's okay that you feel this way. Don't push those feelings away, don't hate that you feel these things. It's what makes you human and it's okay that you love her. Buffy is-she's special and there's just something about her."

"I hate feeling like this."

"Why?"

"Cos she'll never love me back, Wil!"

"Does that matter?"

"No. No it doesn't," Faith said and she wiped away her tears. "It doesn't matter. God, I don't know why I'm getting so worked up about this. Held this in for so fucking long, thought if I talked about it maybe it'd go away, make things a little clearer up here," she said as she tapped the side of her head.

"Did it?"

"No."

"So, what do you feel now, Faith?"

"As frustrated as ever, but the weight I carried holding that all in, feels like it's gone, but not completely. Also I feel like I betrayed Angel," she said. "He tried to get me to talk about this and I shut him down."

"Thank you for trusting me to tell me that."

"Fuck, Wil, in case you haven't noticed, you're my best friend. Never saw it coming."

"Kind of came outta left field."

"Hey, that's more of a line I'd say."

"What can I say, Faith? You're my best friend too," Willow smiled, her own eyes brimming with fresh tears. Before she pulled her in for a hug, she stared at her long and hard. "So wait, are you telling me you're gay now?"

"Did I ever say that?" Faith laughed. "Never been with another woman before in my life, if you can believe it."

"Former Queen of get some and get gone? Really? Not even once?"

"Not even once, Wil. Why the hell you think feeling this way for her makes me like this? It's not just cos it's Buffy-"

"It's because you're questioning your sexuality every time you have those lovey-dovey thoughts about her," Willow stated in her matter of fact voice, unable to hide her smile.

"Wil-"

"Hey, nothing wrong with being gay or the having of very gay feelings. Hello, gay here!"

"Willow-"

"Even if you aren't gay, you're still gay for Bu-"

Faith clamped her hand over Willow's mouth to get her to stop talking and they both broke down into a fit of laughter. Faith couldn't believe that a heavy situation, her opening up and revealing herself like that had turned out this way. But then again it was Willow and they'd come so far in just the last six months that it felt like this bond they had had always been there right from the start.

"How does it make you feel getting it out?" Willow asked her for the second time.

"Honestly?" Faith asked and Willow nodded impatiently. "Vulnerable."

"If you are worried that I'm going to repeat what you just told me, you know me better than that, right?"

"That's not why I feel that way. Besides," Faith sighed. "I think I've done enough of the sharing thing for today, Wil."

"So, you're really not gay?"

"I hate labels."

"But there's feelings?"

"Like, do I want to fuck her?" Faith asked blankly. "No. It's not a physical thing, believe it or not. It's an emotional thing. Thought at some point maybe it was a slayer thing, but it can't be if I still feel that now."

"Slayer thing?"

"A connection," Faith clarified. "Like before when we were near each other, I'd get this buzz. Kind of the same kind of buzz when vamps or demons were near, but it wasn't the same. It didn't feel so...evil," she said, trying to find the right words. "It just felt comforting and it's always confused me. Was I supposed to like it? Was I supposed to fight it, suppress it, ignore it?"

"I think, do you want to know what I think? I think you were supposed to embrace it, not fight it or ignore it or any of those things. Do you want to know what else I think? I think that you not knowing how to deal with that connection you felt, the things you felt for Buffy, it made you kind of go all sorts of-"

"Batshit crazy and easily lured to the side of evil?" Faith finished for her, the words leaving behind a bitter taste in her mouth. "Don't think that's gonna happen again. Live and learn, right?"

Faith exhaled sharply. She was really talking about this and she still felt like she had just had some kind of out of body experience, or maybe this was a part of some kind of strange nightmare she was having, like one of those ones that felt so real she was always convinced was actually happening. But this was Willow and in the last six months, Willow had told her things she said she hadn't told anyone, not Tara when she was alive, not Kennedy, not Buffy or even Xander. She told her what it really was like when she'd been addicted to magic, how dark it was, how deep it pulled her in. It was consuming, more so than she had ever let on and even now, even without having that power run through her, she still felt the edges of that darkness lingering.

Faith was grateful she was no longer alone on that front. She had Willow and she had Angel, both knowing what it's like to tread on the dark side, that lure of evil and how tempting it was at times. And they all were very much on the path to redemption, each on their own road to making things right for themselves, to even out the balance of the things they'd done wrong.

But she couldn't let go of those feelings imbedded in her very soul when it came to Buffy. She had thought that it would've faded over the years, that she'd just forget and move on like they were never there in the first place. Sure, it was easy to put up a front, hide behind walls and act like there was nothing there. It took a certain amount of inner strength to keep that all at bay and with Buffy there with her now, she was in for a test-and an even bigger one now that the cat was out of the bag and she'd told Willow everything.

_I told Wil _everything_. Am I out of my damn mind?!_

Faith shook her head, laughing at herself. She and Willow had a lot of heavy talks over the past handful of months, a lot of heart-to-hearts, it's what solidified their close friendship and their close bond. Willow never judged her, not even with something as _huge_ as her revelation of her feelings, both love and hate, towards Buffy. And she never judged Willow. Never had a reason to and Willow never gave her a reason to.

"What's so funny, Faith?" Willow asked gently when Faith didn't stop laughing, mainly to herself. "Faith?"

"I can't believe I-" Faith cut herself off, shaking her head and trying to stop herself from laughing. "Man, I'm outta my damn mind, ain't I? This is what she does to me, Wil. This is what she does to me if I just so much as _think_ of her name. She drives me fucking crazy. How the hell am I gonna cope with her being here in the same damn house after I just unleashed all of that?"

"Faith-"

"I spent years refusing to admit all that even to myself. Now that it's all out there in the open, I don't know how the hell to deal with this."

"Faith," Willow said and she placed her hands on both shoulders and gave her a nice good, grip, forcing Faith to look her in the eyes. "You are one hell of a strong woman. You know it and I know it. What you feel, how she makes you feel, react, you can hide it, pretend it's not there. We're in the middle of a crisis here and I know you can shut it out so we can all work together to do what needs to be done here. You've managed to do all right for the last three weeks we've been here. If anything else, I have faith in you that you'll figure this out for yourself, with or without her and you'll forget about it, about her, and maybe you'll finally be able to let go and move on in the end. Who knows? Anything is possible."

Willow was right about one thing, anything was possible. Faith had seen it with her own eyes in many, many ways over the course of her life. Yet, to hear the sincerity in Willow's voice, to hear how much she cared and had faith in her, it hit her right where she felt it the most, in her heart and soul. She was never one to wear her emotions on her sleeve, but around Willow, it was hard not to sometimes. And it was easy to show how she really felt because Willow never shut her out, never ignored her, never made her feel bad for feeling and thinking the things she did.

"How am I even gonna be able to look at her now that I've told you?"

"Well," Willow said and she took a deep breath. "Just act like you always do, I guess? Just because you told me doesn't mean anything is different."

"Aside from the fact that you know and apparently already knew that I'm in love with her before I even said a damn thing really."

"Aside from that."

"Is it that obvious?" Faith asked and she frowned when Willow turned to look away from her and was unable to hide that little smile of hers. "Wil, how obvious is it? Just be straight with me here."

"Straight?" Willow said, raising an eyebrow and even Faith couldn't hold back the laugh that escaped. "Okay, it's kind of obvious in the way that you look at her. I've seen it a lot more in the last couple of weeks, but-"

"How do I look at her?"

"But," Willow continued, "it's also how you've reacted whenever anyone has tried to bring up the whole Buffy topic with you, even before all this happened. In a way, I think I've always know and yet I was in denial about it too, because hello, you weren't exactly the poster child of wholesome and good and before Spike, I thought that's all Buffy wanted. And don't even mention Angel, this has nothing to do with him."

"Wasn't gonna."

"I know you well enough now that it didn't take much to put the pieces together. The way you'd say her name if she was ever mentioned to you, even just in passing. It's the way you'd always get so angry talking about her that I could see behind those walls you built up. You are a very emotional person, Faith."

"I am not."

"Stubborn too, but hey, you and Buffy both are, so that's kind of something you have in common. That's still something, right?"

"Wil..."

"You told me once that the only thing you ever wanted was for Buffy to accept you, love you. I know when you'd said that, you meant as one of her friends, a part of her tight circle, to be one of the Scooby gang, but just hearing you say it, hearing that longing in your voice even then, I think that's when I started really looking at the way things were between you two."

"We had that conversation on the way to Sunnydale from LA."

"It was a pretty intense conversation. One I'll never forget."

"Me neither."

"So, this is what you're going to do. You'll go back to the house and do whatever it is you planned to do tonight and act like this conversation pretty much never happened, if that'll help you push it all back down inside again, because you are the one who knows what's best for yourself. And we'll just go about our daily lives while you struggle with this, day in and day out for the rest of your life."

"Willow! Every word that just came out of your mouth was just dripping with sarcasm. I don't know whether to be offended or proud for teaching you well."

"There's a lot of things I learned to do with this mouth of mine before we became friends."

"Wil!"

"If you ever want some tips-"

"Oh my god," Faith laughed and she gave Willow a shoulder bump. "You're crazy sometimes, you know that?"

"I know I am, but so are you."

"Apparently also still twelve years old too."

They laughed again and Faith felt like everything was okay. She wasn't struggling with her emotions, not like she'd been through the entire time she'd talked to Willow about Buffy. Faith turned the radio back on and gripped the steering wheel. She knew they couldn't stay out of the house for too long. Wood or Angel would organize some kind of lame search party for them and then she'd have to listen to both Summers' women complain about having to look for them in the cold and in the dark.

"So, just let me get this one thing straight," Willow said and Faith turned to her, not realizing this conversation was far from over. "You're in love with her, but you're not sexually attracted to her?"

"Already said it's not a physical thing."

"But in order to be in love with someone, there has to be some kind of physical attraction there too, right? I mean, that's how these things work usually."

"I don't-"

"Surely you have eyes," Willow said and she shook her head in disbelief. "Buffy is a very attractive woman, anyone can see that."

"Wil, I bet if she was ugly as hell, I'd still feel this way about her. It's not a physical thing, it's an emotional thing, a connection that even now I still can't shake."

"So you _are_ physically attracted to her."

"No I-"

"Humor me for a minute here, Faith."

"You're just having way too much fun with this, aren't you?" Faith grumbled. "Fine. I'll humor you for a minute. Better get cracking, Wil. Time's a ticking."

"If you had a chance with her, metaphorically speaking, and she jumped you, would you follow through or turn her away?"

"What the hell kind of a question is that?"

"That's what I thought."

"What?" Faith laughed incredulously. "I didn't even answer the damn question!"

"You don't have to because I already know the answer."

"I don't even know the damn answer."

"Sure you do."

Faith cracked her knuckles and breathed out heavily. She knew what Willow was trying to do, get right under her skin and get her to admit how she truly felt. It wasn't like she had never entertained that idea. She was human and she did have eyes and an appreciation for a sexy woman the same way she could appreciate a sexy man. A beautiful human being was just that, beautiful and she never thought there was anything wrong with thinking that way.

"Metaphorically speaking, I'd fuck her brains out until she couldn't walk straight and she'd be begging me for more. Ya happy now?" Faith snapped and Willow sat there with a smug smile on her face. "Jesus, you drive me just as crazy as she does."

"Yep, plenty happy now. Thanks."

Faith shook her head and put the truck in park. She followed the narrow road as it turned around back on to itself and drove back to the house. Willow hopped out of the truck first, not even bothering to wait for her as she made a run back to the warmth of the house. Faith killed the engine and sat there for a minute, replaying everything she'd just told Willow over in her head. It did feel like a weight had been lifted and now that she had taken a little bit of time to step out of that veil of denial, she didn't want to slip right back into it again. It had taken a huge toll on her emotional state and she was just so tired of fighting against herself over it.

Faith headed to the house, picking up her beer where she'd left it on the way inside. She could hear the others in the den and she could smell the wood burning in the fireplace. The laughter resonated down the body and straight through her. Even though they hadn't gotten much further in their research with Azri'el, there hadn't been any other incidents and there were no reports of any other former slayers having been killed in the last three weeks. Things had slowed down and almost seemed like they were living a life, a very different life, where Azri'el didn't exist.

But she knew that just because he'd slipped away for a little while, didn't mean he was gone completely and that they could just forget about the entire situation at hand. Yet, being there in Nelson Bedford's house, all under the same roof for the first time in over two years, everything really did feel like it'd be okay in the end.

"Faith! We're going to watch some old movies Nelly found in the attic. Join us?" Xander said as he came out of the kitchen carrying three big bowls of popcorn.

"On that shitty little black and white TV he's got in there? Pass."

"You sure?"

"Another time, Xander."

"Your loss, Faith."

She shrugged and headed down to the kitchen, expecting to be in there alone. She was hungry now and the last time she'd eaten had been shortly after lunch. She was surprised to find Buffy in there, sitting alone at the big wood table and sipping a cup of hot tea. With her conversation with Willow still so fresh, she wasn't sure she could even stand to be in the same room as her.

_Suck it up, Lehane._

Taking a deep breath, she walked over to the fridge and finished off her beer before grabbing another out of the fridge. They were running low and she made a mental note to mention it to Colin or Nelly in the morning and give them some cash to make a run into town to stock up on more.

"Where'd you guys go?" Buffy asked before Faith could walk out of the kitchen.

"What's that, B?"

"You and Willow? Where did you guys go?"

"Just for a ride around the property. Felt like going for a drive."

"Is there something going on between you two that I should know about?"

Faith nearly choked on her beer and burst out laughing. "God no. There's nothing going on between us, B. What makes ya think that?"

"You two spend a lot of time together and are really close. I kind of just thought-"

"Well ya kind of just thought wrong. We're just friends."

"Right. Okay. Forget I even asked."

Faith rolled her eyes and she leaned against the wall by the doorway. Buffy stared at her for a moment, probably wondering if she could believe what Faith had just said to her or not. And Faith did nothing but stare right back, watching a string of emotions flicker through her eyes. She was good at reading other people, but when it came to Buffy, it was harder to do than with anyone else. She still hadn't figured out why, but she knew that when it came to sharing how she felt, Buffy was just as guarded as Faith was unless she was around people she could trust.

Maybe one day she'd be one of those people. She'd seen just glimmers of hope of that trust slowly building in the past couple of weeks. Even Buffy's whole attitude had changed towards her and in a good way. She no longer shed words drawn from venomous hate towards her. Their conversations short, sometimes snippy and to the point using as very little words as possible. But for Faith, it was a start and they still had a long way to go. Getting there would only be half the battle.

The other half would be holding those feelings deep inside of her and try to get through every day, one day at a time, without those emotions driving and controlling her.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Chapter Ten_**

Sleep had become an irregular thing, something that came and went over the years and something that she was used to. Pair it with letting down all her walls, letting everything out she held inside of her for so long, it had her thinking all night long and she couldn't get the thoughts to stop.

Faith found herself alone in the kitchen just before four in the morning, waiting for the coffee to brew in the coffeemaker that rarely worked right the first time. All her thoughts were centered around Buffy more so than the situation they were in with Azri'el. It angered her in ways she felt she was fighting an emotional storm inside of her, fighting those thoughts, Buffy betraying all of them for her own selfish reasons and fighting with the fact that despite it all, she still felt the way that she did. Nothing ever changed that.

She thought about Amelia, the first of their team in Cleveland to have been killed because of Azri'el. If Buffy had told them weeks ago what had happened to her, what they knew, Faith was almost positive they could've stopped all of it and saved a few lives along the way. Then again, when she thought about it, maybe Buffy had been somehow brainwashed by Azri'el when he posed himself as Sebastian to her.

"Always finding excuses," she muttered under her breath, watching at the last few drops fell into the carafe. "Doesn't matter what she does, what she says or doesn't say, they all still fall loyally in line at her side, just like always."

Faith laughed at herself, hearing the words out loud instead of just in her head. The voice was the same, the tone still bitter while lingering that fine line of hate and something else. Definitely not love when those thoughts crossed her mind.

All night, even after she retreated to her room and tuned out the laughter of the others watching crappy movies on that old black and white TV, her mind just kept on replaying everything she had told Willow. She'd always been overly emotional, but for the longest time she had herself under control, she was able to just lock those emotions away in the back of her mind, shutting them out whenever they started to surface. Losing her slayer essence had changed her in far more ways than she could recall. It made her vulnerable in ways she didn't want to be.

A month ago things had been different. Buffy rarely crossed her mind. She was out patrolling, and even though it'd been slowing down over the months, she still craved just coming across just one vamp, one demon, hell some nights she just wanted to find a zompire and go ten rounds with it just because she could. She loved slaying, she loved being a slayer. It had defined her, gave her a purpose in life. Having that stripped from her returned her to being that unsure, vulnerable woman, with zero confidence and regretting every single choice she made.

A month ago she was living what she knew was an easy life and she had people in her life who loved her and wanted her in theirs. She had Willow and no matter how many times she thought about their friendship and valued every moment of it, sometimes it just didn't feel like it was real, like she deserved it. She spent all night thinking about why those thoughts kept crossing her mind. Eventually she came up with the answer that left even more questions unanswered. She finally had almost everything she ever wanted and when things started going wrong, she did what she did best, questioned it.

And she'd spent all night thinking about how much she'd really, truly changed and most of those changes had occurred so naturally and with ease that she didn't notice any of them until she started putting the last couple years of her life under her self-judging microscope that started to overanalyze absolutely everything she'd ever said, done, even thought about.

"Just gotta stop thinking about everything, stop feeling so goddamn much," she said to herself as she took her coffee out with her onto the back porch. "Fuck, it's freezing."

"It's December," Angel said from where he stood at the far end of the back porch. "It's supposed to be cold."

"Sure. Couldn't have gone somewhere warm like I don't know, Jamaica or something? At least we'd be hiding out and not freezing our asses off."

"Not a choice place for me. Bit too sunny."

"Right."

"It's early, even for you," Angel said as Faith joined him. "Couldn't or didn't sleep?"

"Didn't."

"Any reason why?"

"Too much going on up here," Faith replied, tapping the side of her head before she wrapped both her hands around her warm cup of coffee. "Not up for talking about it either, big guy, just came out here to have a smoke and a coffee."

"You know where to find me if you need to talk."

"What's the plan for today?"

"Same as it's been every day. We're going to hit the books. Nelly has found more in the attic that might be of some help."

Faith sighed and stared down into her mug. The hot coffee was cooling in the cold morning air, steam rising from her mug quickly. "More research and yet we still seem to be nowhere further than we were when we got here. Feels like we keep going in circles."

"Willow didn't mention it to you?"

"Mention what?"

"One of the spells, a small one. Completely harmless," Angel replied. "She's going to try to cast it today with Nelly's help."

"Never mentioned it."

Angel didn't say anything and instead he sat down on the old wooden bench. Faith sat down next to him and shivered, finding it nearly impossible to get used to the chill in the air.

"What kind of spell is it?"

"It's in that book we retrieved from Kraal. I'm not sure what it does exactly, some kind of levitation spell," Angel replied with a shrug. "Small and harmless. There's no guarantee that it'll work."

"Sounds exciting," Faith said, rolling her eyes. "But what if it does work? They gonna try something else after that?"

"What's left of the energy from the Seed isn't much and what we know is that Azri'el has harnessed some of it, if not all of it for his own personal uses. If it does work, it might just be that one time, by a stroke of luck. We still need to be careful. Magic no longer replenishes the way it once did. There is no source from where it comes and goes anymore."

"You think all hope is lost that things are gonna go back to the way they used to be?"

"With magic?"

"Any of it," Faith replied. "With magic and us slayers getting our essence back. I know that things could hit the fan if magic came back at full force. Would give the bad guys a chance to grow their numbers and pretty much wipe out any progress we'd made in the last few years."

"There's always a chance, Faith, just don't put all your hope into things going back to the way they used to always be. Once the world has changed, it's hard to go back to the way it once was. History repeats itself, mortal history, but the rest? What most normal human beings never see or know about, it very rarely repeats itself."

"Except now with Azri'el. He's working for the First, finishing what It had started back in Sunnydale, only it's not quite the same thing."

"The First Evil will always be there. Unless It were to take corporeal form, there will never be a way for It to be destroyed. All we can do is hope to set It back, keep whatever It has planned from actually happening. It's been done once. It's entirely possible that it can be done again."

Faith frowned, but yet she knew that already. They all knew that there was no way they would ever completely destroy the First. They stopped It once, but there was no guarantee they'd be able to do that again. They had magic on their side then, slayers new and old, and a Champion that was responsible for the Hellmouth collapsing in on itself, taking Sunnydale with it.

She couldn't bring herself to say that to Angel though. She had to try to find that same kind of hope he seemed to be clinging to, the same one the others seemed to have too. They _would_ win again and it wasn't going to happen overnight. It was going to be a long, hard fight and she knew there would be others that would fall along the way, forever branded heroes for fighting the good fight until the end.

They sat in their usual peaceful silence together for a little while until just a few minutes before the first rays of sunlight began to break over the horizon. Angel headed inside and Faith followed a minute later. Although it was still very early, Willow was already up and in the kitchen, her back to Faith as she filled the kettle and placed it on the stove. She spun around and smiled at Faith and just from one glance at her, Faith could tell that she was in a ridiculously good mood that morning.

"Good morning!" Willow smiled and she turned back to the stove briefly and turned the burner on. "You're up early, Faith."

"Didn't sleep yet."

Willow frowned. "Oh. I can make you a cup of tea that's guaranteed to give you four hours of uninterrupted sleep. Nelly showed me the recipe. It's an old family secret with natural herbs and things like that."

"No, it's okay. Figure my body will realize it needs to sleep and shut down my brain long enough to let me."

"Too much thinking?" Willow asked and she frowned again. "Faith, is this over what you told me last night?"

"Not really," Faith sighed and she crossed her arms over her chest. "You're gonna try to use magic today?"

"Try being the key word, but it's not a huge spell. It's a small one. It's kind of like a levitation spell, but very different from how I'm used to using it," Willow replied quickly and she shook her head. "If we can harness just a little bit of what magic is left, we can figure out how we can get it to replenish itself. Doing one little spell, one that's completely harmless, could really help us right now and instead of going two steps backwards-"

"We're gonna take a step forward?"

"Or several. Either way, we have to try something, Faith. We're getting nowhere and research is turning up a lot of dead ends and we end up right back where we started. This spell could change everything, open a whole new world of possibilities and it could help us."

"All from levitating a frigging pencil?"

"Not a pencil," Willow laughed. "Uh, whoever volunteers to be the little levitation guinea pig."

"Don't look at me."

"It has to be a living thing. All living things have an energy source and in order for the spell to work-"

"Got it, but I still ain't volunteering for that."

"It's okay, I didn't expect you to want anything to do with that spell," Willow replied and she offered a small smile. "But you are going to be there, right?"

"Sure. Wouldn't miss it," Faith said, managing a small smile right back. "Do you think it's going to work, Wil?"

"We won't know until we try. We have to try, don't we?"

"Got nothing left to lose either way."

* * *

Everyone gathered in the dining room, the heavy drapes drawn to shut out the bright afternoon sunlight. Faith leaned up against the door frame, arms crossed over her chest as she watched Willow and Nelly place a few supplies and herbs on the big wooden table. No matter what she did, Faith couldn't stop looking over at Buffy as she stood beside Dawn on the other side of the room.

"Is anyone going to volunteer?" Nelly asked, breaking the heavy silence in the room.

"I will," Andrew said, stepping up towards the table. "I volunteer."

"You understand it may or may not work?" Nelly asked him and Andrew nodded, slipping off his blazer jacket and made such a dramatic show of folding it and draping it over the closest chair. "Up on the table then, boy."

"Do I sit or lay?" Andrew asked.

"Uh," Willow sighed and shrugged as she and Nelly exchanged a look. "Whatever is more comfortable for you. I don't think it matters."

Andrew laid down on the table and closed his eyes. Faith couldn't stop the laugh that escaped and Angel stood next to her, smirking slightly as well. Angel moved to stand near Wood, just a few feet away from Faith. Everyone was standing all around the room, waiting for Willow and Nelly to start the spell. The only one missing was Colin, but Faith could hear the footsteps running down the hallway and he breezed past her, carrying a few candles.

Faith sighed loudly, watching as they set up. One by one they lit the half a dozen candles they placed around Andrew's body. Willow had the book near her and she was reading it out loud quietly, instructing Nelly to place certain herbs in the small metal bowl in a specific order.

They began chanting in Latin, Faith was sure it was Latin and she felt a chill run through her as they spoke louder. The flames on the candles rose and then nearly died out before returning to normal. And then she felt weightless, her body rising from where she stood and she grabbed at the frame of the door, eyes wide.

"Uh Wil?" Faith said shakily. "It's working."

"Willow!" Dawn yelled out and it brought Faith's attention over to Buffy. She too was levitating off the floor, Dawn holding on to her leg to keep her from rising further.

Willow dumped the bowl of the herbs and both Buffy and Faith fell to the floor. Andrew sat up, confused as he looked around at the others in the room. Faith's heart was pounding and she tried to stay calm.

"What the hell just happened?" Faith asked as Willow rushed over to her side. "Thought it was supposed to work on Andrew?"

"I-I don't know what happened," Willow whispered and they both looked over at Buffy as she was surrounded by Dawn, Xander, Andrew and Kennedy. "It was focused on the one in the circle of light. I followed everything the book said."

Faith ran a shaky hand through her hair. "Why me? And Buffy?"

"Faith-"

"I knew being in here wasn't gonna be such a good idea."

"No," Willow said, shaking her head. "It _worked_, Faith. It just didn't work on Andrew."

Faith could see the thoughts racing through Willow's mind. She was already trying to figure out why the spell had worked on Buffy and Faith, why even after having Andrew enclosed the in circle of light didn't contain the magic within it, raising only him off the table. Faith's thoughts were racing too, but she couldn't pick out one from the other. The feeling of that magic in her body, lifting her from the floor, it created an intense buzz that was fading slowly.

"Nelly?" Willow said as he walked over towards them with Colin at his side. "Do you have any theories on why it worked, but only on Faith and Buffy?"

"I have one theory," he replied and he looked at Faith. "The spell relies on energy, mystical energy. That boy does not have the energy the spell had required, but you, Faith, you have that mystical energy as does that one," he said and he hooked a thumb over in Buffy's direction. "Rupert told me that you two were the last slayers called in the old way. Perhaps that is why."

"Huh?" Faith asked. "What are you getting at here?"

"You two are the last of the original slayers," Nelly replied. "The others? The essence of the slayer had been inside of them, but it was given to them by magic, not by natural means when one slayer died, the next would be called. You two are the last to have been chosen the way it had always been intended. There is a strong presence of mystical energy still inside of you, far stronger than anyone could have imagined. It's a source that is burned in your soul, one that Azri'el could never take from you."

"It only worked because they were close enough to the circle for the spell to work," Willow said and Nelly nodded. "It wouldn't have worked if just one of you were here."

"Correct, Willow," Nelly said, smiling a little. "This changes everything we've been working on since you arrived here. Why hadn't I thought of this before?"

"Are you saying that we still have some of our slayer essence inside of us?" Buffy asked as she and the others approached them. "That's not possible. I would feel it if there was still just a tiny part left over."

"It's likely not part of the slayer essence itself," Nelly said and he scratched his balding head. "There is no way we will know for certain. The only way would be to try the spell again, to see if it'll work with the two of you. We'll try again, with only one of you and from there, hopefully we'll have some answers."

"Hell no," Faith said, crossing her arms over her chest. "There's no way I'm playing magical guinea pig with you people!"

"Faith-"

"I'll do it," Buffy said quietly. "It's something that needs to be done. Faith," she turned to her and frowned a little. "It's just a little magic. We need to figure out how to go forward if we want to stop Azri'el and fix this. Don't you want this whole thing to end so we can all go back to our own lives?"

Faith scoffed. "Of course I want this to end. But I'm not-"

"Faith," Angel said gently and he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Let them try. Nobody expected that spell to work, but it did and we need to figure out _why_ and we need to know if it just wasn't a one time deal, a one in a million chance that it worked just once."

"Are we gonna do this right now or what?" Faith said, sighing as she slinked back away from the group and the eyes that were on her, waiting for her to give her okay. "Cos I might need a few minutes to think about this."

"Take a few minutes," Willow said gently. "We have to get fresh ingredients anyway."

Faith took that as her cue to exit and she hurried out to the front door. She grabbed her jacket and slid it on as she walked out of the house. Fumbling through her pockets, she pulled out her worn cigarette pack. She sat on the top step and lit one with a shakily unsteady hand. She closed her eyes when she heard the front door open right as she slid her lighter back into her pocket.

"When I said I needed a few minutes to think about this, I meant alone," she said through gritted teeth.

"You're scared," Buffy said plainly and she sat down on the step near her. "I am too."

"Never said I was scared," she replied with a scoff. "What you doing out here? Trying to talk me into doing this or something?"

Buffy didn't say anything. Faith looked over at her and wondered just what was going through her head. Faith knew she had a lot going through her own and she was trying to figure out how and why and if it was because they were somehow connected in a way. There'd always been an unexplained connection between the two. She and Giles had talked about it before, mostly because she could never understand why they were connected and he had tried to help her find some answers.

"I feel it," Buffy said after a few long minutes of silence. "I always felt it."

"Felt what?"

"Connected to you."

"You reading my thoughts?" Faith asked, a half-hearted laugh escaping past her lips.

"No I'm not," Buffy replied. "I've just been thinking, that's all."

"About this connection? Faith asked and she only nodded. "You want to know my take on this?" When Buffy didn't respond, Faith continued. "We were the last ones chosen, as Nelly pointed out. Two slayers were never meant to exist at once and even after there were thousands of us, the only one I ever felt that connection with was you. Giles and I, we tried to figure out why at one point. He thought it was cos we shared the same essence, that it was split between us even though it was as strong as it would be as if it weren't split and shared at all."

"What does it feel like for you?" Buffy asked her and she wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to stay warm. "The connection?"

"Kind of the same way it feels when vamps or demons are around, that buzz, but it's not like that, not really. It feels...warm. Comforting."

Faith couldn't believe they were even having that conversation. But it was Buffy who had followed her outside and Buffy who had brought it up. Faith knew she had to chose her words carefully now, for her own sake. The last thing she wanted was to let it slip that she had feelings for Buffy that were somehow connected to that connection between them.

"I never really thought about how it made me feel."

"But you still feel it, even now?" Faith asked, already knowing the answer to that question just from the look in Buffy's eyes. "Bet you thought it'd be gone after what happened, right?"

"Yeah, but it's still there, not as strong as it used to be, but I can still feel it."

"Me too."

"So," Buffy said and she sucked in a deep breath. "You'll do this spell?"

"I don't-"

"We're never going to move forward if we both don't do this, Faith."

"Yeah, whatever," she groaned and she flicked her cigarette to the ground. "Guess I really don't got much of a choice here, do I?"

"It could be our only chance to find a way to fix this, to kill him and go back to our own lives. Don't you want that?"

"More than anything."

Buffy smiled and stood up from the step. She headed inside, leaving the door open for Faith to follow. With a heavy sigh, Faith rose to her feet and headed back inside. She followed Buffy down to the living room and it was Nelly who closed the double doors behind her. There was only four of them in the room, everyone else having cleared out. Willow was standing by the table, reading over the spell in the book, mouthing the words as she read them.

Faith wasn't sure how this would happen, if it would be any different than before now that the spell would be centered on them directly. Truth be told, Buffy had been right when she said that she was scared. She was scared because she knew that whatever connection they still had together would somehow become stronger throughout the course of the spell.

A simple levitation spell? Faith laughed inwardly at that. There was nothing _simple_ about it. It just made everything rise to a whole new level of the unknown and she wasn't sure if she'd be strong enough to hold herself together through it at all.

"I want you two to sit on the table and face each other," Nelly instructed, pointing to the spot inside the circle of candles, now a dozen instead of the six there had been when Andrew had been on the table. "Willow has a theory we will test, but in a moment."

Buffy was the first on the table and Faith followed, sitting as far away from her as she could in the circle. Nelly clicked his tongue and motioned for her to move closer to Buffy. She could feel that warm buzz coursing through her veins as she sat just inches away from Buffy.

"What kind of theory?" Buffy asked. "Like, do we have to hold hands or something?"

"Yeah," Willow nodded and she briefly glanced a Faith. "We think that maybe it'll be stronger if you're touching."

Faith was startled when Buffy reached out and grabbed her hands, but it wasn't the sudden movement that startled her, it was the surge of the buzz she could feel that did it. Trying to remain calm, like just holding Buffy's hands didn't get her heart racing, she looked over at Willow, silently urging her to get the spell over and done with.

Faith felt like she was slipping away and all she could see and feel was Buffy. She only faintly could hear Willow and Nelly as they began the spell, but everything in her was drawn to the feeling she had flowing through her entire body. The warmth of Buffy's hands in hers, the softness of her skin, it made her head spin a little as she fought off those thoughts she knew that once she let them run freely through her mind, she'd never be able to tune them out or shut them off.

Then she felt it like she had before, that weightless feeling as her body slowly lifted off the table. Buffy gripped her hands tighter, their eyes locked together in an intensity they had never shared before. And before she knew it, they were back on the table and Buffy loosened her grip before she let go of Faith's hands.

"That says it all," Nelly said, a sense of amazement in his voice.

"Says what?" Faith asked, slightly dazed as she looked over at him and Willow.

"We had known there was just a shred of magic left in the world," Willow said, looking at Faith in awe. "We didn't know it was inside you both."

"Whoa, back up a second here," Faith said and she moved a few candles aside so she could get off the table. "How the hell do you know that?"

"You didn't see it?" Willow asked and she shook her head no. "You two were glowing. Like actually _glowing_. Only one thing has ever given off a glow like that and that was the Seed. Whatever is left, it flows through both of you. Why? We may never truly know the answer to that, but it's there, inside you both and it's stronger when you're together."

"You are the source," Nelly said. "It could be why Azri'el hasn't killed you. If he kills one or both of you, he has no power, no way of returning back to the dimension he has come from."

"If we're the source, why hasn't he found us yet?" Buffy asked. "Or is this just another part of his game?"

"You do not realize what kind of a safe house this is, do you, girl?" Nelly said and he laughed loudly, slapping his leg as he backed away from the table. "I had thought after the Seed was destroyed that the magic protecting this house would have been gone, but it is still there. A barrier of sorts. It keeps the evil from looking in, seeing what's really here. It could be the very thing that is preventing Azri'el from finding you both and until we know more, you'll stay here."

"For how long?" Buffy asked and she looked like she was on the verge of tears. "How long do we have to stay here?"

"Until we resolve this situation, find the orb that contains every slayers essence, return it and destroy Azri'el completely."

"How are we going to find this orb?"

Willow smiled at Buffy and she turned a few pages in the book. "We'll need you and Faith. There's a spell that can bring it forth, but it's powerful and very risky. We don't know how long this magic will hold out, if it is even strong enough to do more than just a simple levitation spell. But we've got to try. We have nothing else."

"We will have to wait," Nelly said. "We need to prepare. What we need for the spell, we do not have here in the house. I will send Colin out first thing in the morning to retrieve and locate some the ingredients. It may possibly take several days before we are ready."

Days. Several of them. Faith sighed and headed for the door, ignoring Willow as she called out to her to stay. She couldn't stay in that room for a minute longer. She could feel that power of the magic, just a little bit of it, still inside of her and it was completely freaking her out. There were no words to describe how it felt, but she knew it didn't feel wrong, it just felt out of place and new to her. She headed up to her room, ignoring Dawn who tried to ask her how the spell had gone, ignoring Kennedy as she waited for her by her bedroom door. She pushed past her and slammed the door shut behind her.

Trembling, she walked over to the window and drew back the drapes. The sun was still high in the sky and it filled her room with light. She gripped onto the windowsill tightly and forced back the tears that were building and she didn't even know _why_.

She almost lashed out when she heard the soft knock on her door. She ignored it, hoping whoever it was would go away. When the knock came again a second time, that's when she felt it and she knew that Buffy was there on the other side of the door. She wasn't in any shape ready to deal with her, to listen to whatever it was she came up there to say. She had left the dining room to give herself that space between her and Buffy. It had been too much feeling her, feeling that electricity that flowed between them, between the connection they shared.

"Faith?"

"Go away, Buffy."

Faith gripped the windowsill harder, taking a few deep breaths as she heard the door open. She spun around and glared at Buffy as she slowly shut the door behind her and locked it.

"What part of go away didn't you get?"

"We need to talk."

"No, we don't. Now get the hell out of my room."

"Or what?"

Faith walked over to her and grabbed her by her shoulders. "Or I'll make you get out."

Buffy laughed incredulously and she shoved Faith away from her. "You'll make me? Always comes down to us fighting, doesn't it, Faith?"

"Don't know any other way, do we?"

"I was right, you are scared, but not about the spell," Buffy said and she got right in Faith's face, just inches away from her. "You're scared of what you feel when you're around me."

"That's not-"

"You're scared because you don't know how to keep lying to yourself about how you feel when you're around me."

"Buffy-"

"When are you going to stop lying to yourself? To me? What the hell are you so scared for, Faith?" Buffy yelled and Faith pushed her away, unable to stand being so close to her, hearing those words spill almost angrily out of her mouth.

"Don't know what you're talking about."

Faith turned away from her, clenching her fists at her side. When Buffy reached out and grabbed her shoulder, she spun around and landed a nice hard left hook to her jaw. Buffy retaliated, punching her right back with a force that surprised Faith that she still had in her. It wasn't slayer strength and yet it hurt like hell. Faith took a few steps back, ready for whatever would come next.

"You know what I'm talking about," Buffy said as she rubbed her jaw. Her skin was red and Faith knew there'd definitely be a fist sized bruise there in no time. "I wouldn't even be here if I didn't _feel_ it when we did that spell, Faith."

"What the hell did you feel, Buffy?"

"Everything."

"Get out," Faith yelled at her and she grabbed her arm, forcing her towards the door, but Buffy struggled against her. "Just get out, Buffy."

"No."

"Why the hell do you care so much, huh? You sure as shit didn't before. So why now?"

"Why do you keep shutting me out?"

"Uh, in case you need a refresher on the whole Buffy and Faith history, we've never been friends. No reason to let you in now just cos we're stuck in this place, hiding out from a very powerful demon, one which not to mention seduced his way into your frigging pants and you were so oblivious, so blind, but hey, what's one more demon? With a track record like yours-"

Buffy slapped her, hard, tears in her eyes as she stepped back away from her. "You have no right to bring that up," she said, her voice shaky as the tears streamed down her cheeks. "It was a mistake! How do I even apologize for that when all you ever do is shut me out?"

"Your mistake cost three girls their lives, probably more, who the hell knows. Your mistake put us all in danger in a place where we should've been safe. Your mistake is not something that you can ever apologize for cos you can never give those girls their lives back!"

"You're right. There is nothing I can do to take back what had happened because of my mistake. So, what is it that you want me to do, Faith? Keep going on like we've always done, fight the good fight while we barely can stand to be in the same room together?" Buffy asked and she scoffed, furiously wiping away her tears. "It's all different now, Faith. We need to stick together. We don't have a choice. If we want to win this fight, fix this and kill that son of a bitch, we need to stick together or we don't even have a chance."

Faith shook her head. She was reeling from the raging emotions inside of her. She wanted nothing more than to go back to hating her, to being able just to shut her out without a second thought, without feeling guilty for wanting to. Buffy had made a major mistake, several in fact and Faith couldn't understand why nobody was holding it against her except for her.

"Just get out of here," Faith said under her breath.

"No."

"You're just as stubborn as ever, aren't ya, B?" Faith laughed dryly. "Always do whatever the hell you want. Don't you even care that it's fucking tearing me apart just being in the same room as you? I don't want to feel these things anymore, Buffy, and it's kind of hard to shut them off when you won't leave me alone!"

"What things don't you want to feel anymore?"

Faith shook her head and turned away from her. "Would you just fucking get out of here?"

"What don't you want to feel, Faith?" Buffy asked, her voice soft and gentle. When she reached out for her again, Faith turned around and grabbed her by her shoulders and backed her up against the door. "Tell me. Just tell me, Faith. Let it all out for once. I won't leave until you tell me what it is you don't want to feel anymore."

It was Buffy who made the move first, grabbing Faith's head firmly and pulled her in for a hard kiss. It was so sudden and unexpected that Faith couldn't believe what was happening. It didn't even feel real to her. When she felt Buffy kiss her harder, her tongue gently dipping out, she couldn't stop herself from responding and she kissed her back, just as hard and with a sense of urgency she couldn't control.

And it was Buffy who put an end to the unexpected kiss, pushing Faith back roughly. Faith was breathing heavily, her heart just hammering in her chest and her lips tingling from the kiss.

"That's what I thought," Buffy whispered and she pulled Faith back in to her, kissing her again, softly this time.

The more Faith fought it, the harder Buffy kissed her. Buffy's fingers intertwined in her hair, roughly holding her right where she was as Faith gave in for a second time, losing herself in a flood of emotions that were just pouring out of her with just that kiss. Everything she could never say was being said and there was no turning back now.

"I hate you," she murmured against Buffy's lips before she pulled her flush against her.

"No, you don't."

Faith pulled back from Buffy just enough to look into her eyes. The intensity that shone in them was enough to blow her away. Faith wanted to push her away, tell her to get out again. She gripped on to Buffy's hips, unable to bring herself to do just that. She couldn't fight this anymore, she didn't have it in her to. The intensity she could feel between them was unlike anything she'd ever felt before. There was no way she could turn away from this, not now, not after it was Buffy who had kissed her first.

She couldn't stop herself from kissing Buffy again and she felt it all over and inside of her, the warmth of their connection filling her entire body and soul. She had never kissed another woman before, the thought of it never having crossed her mind, but kissing Buffy felt right, it felt natural and she had never quite been kissed that way before by anyone in her life.

Her whole body was reacting to the feel of Buffy flush against her, the feel of Buffy's lips and tongue against her own as they kissed slowly and deeply. She pressed Buffy hard against the door, willing her hands not to move from Buffy's hips because she knew if she did, she wouldn't be able to stop herself from taking this a whole lot further.

Buffy moaned as she slid a leg between Faith's, her hands dropping from her head and down to grip on her waist, pulling Faith impossibly closer to her. Faith pulled back from her lips and pressed her forehead to Buffy's. She was trying to keep herself under control and she was losing that battle, slowly yet surely. It'd been too long since she'd been with anyone and she was feeling the lack of intimacy more than ever before. If Buffy didn't stop whatever was happening between them, she'd be powerless to stop it herself.

"Don't fight it," Buffy whispered, her breath tickling over Faith's kiss-swollen lips. "We have to stop fighting it, Faith."

"Why?"

Faith tried to hold back the moan as Buffy arched into her, driving her thigh hard up against Faith's throbbing center. Buffy leaned in and kissed her again, wild and wanton as they both lost themselves in each other. None of it made any sense, but Faith was too far gone, too engrossed in Buffy to care anymore what any of it meant. She was going to take this moment and live within it with everything she had even if it all came crashing down once it was over.


	11. Chapter 11

**_Chapter Eleven_**

It had to have been a dream because it didn't feel real at all for Faith. They hadn't moved from where they stood with Faith pressing Buffy up against the door. Their frantic kisses had turned slow, lingering and deep, the kind of kisses that made Faith's toes curl from the intense passion of it all.

Faith moaned as Buffy's fingers slid under her shirt, her soft fingers caressing her skin lightly. Everything that was happening between them was happening so slowly, like every small touch, every kiss was just a test to see if the other would put an end to whatever was happening between them. If this had been anyone else other than Buffy, they'd be naked and in bed by that point, Faith knew that, but it was different and she couldn't quite figure out why.

Buffy trailed her lips from her mouth and down to Faith's neck, kissing her was lightly towards her ear. It set something off inside of Faith, something that was making her lose whatever she had left of her self-control.

"Are you still scared?" Buffy whispered into her ear and it made Faith's breath hitch in her chest.

"Terrified," she shakily replied, her voice sounding foreign to her.

"Don't be."

Buffy's lips found her way back to Faith's and she kissed her deeply, her hands sliding further up Faith's shirt, fingers dancing along the skin of her back. Faith slid her hands under Buffy's shirt, shivering as she felt the warm, soft skin against her hands. It felt like they were clinging to each other, completely lost in the moment they'd somehow created together. It wasn't at all how Faith imagined it'd be between them. She thought it'd be hard and fast, rough and dirty, much like how they used to fight against each other. This was turning into everything she never thought it'd be and it was terrifying.

"What are we doing here, Buffy?" Faith asked quietly.

"I don't know. I thought we were just kissing."

It made Faith laugh with the way she'd said it, soft and all innocent like when Faith knew it was anything but that. Buffy had a dazed look in her eyes and a slight pout settled over her lips. Faith pulled away from her, taking an uneasy step back as she put some space between them. She wasn't sure what was happening between them, but of course she wasn't stupid. They'd been kissing, making out like a couple of horny teenagers locked in the supply closet in between classes. It made her laugh just thinking about how they'd been acting since Buffy came in there to talk to her and refused to leave.

It made her head spin because she was over-thinking this whole thing. She couldn't blame herself for it either, this was Buffy after all and if there was one thing that Buffy was good at, it was getting under her skin and driving her completely crazy. Whatever was happening between them, Faith knew it had started with that spell and whatever it was that Buffy had felt, it had brought them to where they were now.

"Faith?" Buffy said cautiously as she took a few steps towards her. "Are you okay?"

Faith laughed incredulously. "Million dollar question, isn't it? Am I okay? I'm fucking freaking out here, Buffy!"

"Yeah, I can so tell with the way you'd just been standing there laughing like a crazy person to yourself for the last couple of minutes," Buffy replied, tongue in cheek as she tried to keep from laughing at Faith's expense.

"Why can't you just go away?"

"You don't want me to."

Faith scoffed as she crossed her arms over her chest. "What makes you so sure about that?"

"Because you kissed me back, Faith."

"Got lost in the moment," she shrugged. "Kind of lost it now, huh?"

"Looks like it," Buffy replied, the softness in her eyes being replaced with anger. "I don't understand you at all! I threw myself at you, took a chance and you just-you just have to question everything, don't you?"

"Well yeah, I do. It's you and me, Buffy!"

"We have history, so what? God, is there something wrong with me? I thought you-god, I don't know what I thought I felt during that spell, but I thought I felt something I never thought I'd feel again."

"And what's that?"

"Love, you idiot!"

Faith couldn't stop the heartless laughter that escaped. It tore her up inside, but she couldn't stop it. Buffy charged at her then, lashing out in the one way she did best, with her fists. Faith struggled to block her punches and she grappled with her until they landed on the floor, Faith on top and struggling to grab a hold of Buffy's wrists.

"Let go of me!" Buffy yelled as she writhed under Faith once she had a hold of her.

"Stop hitting me then."

"Get off of me!"

"Make me," Faith snapped and in a split second she found herself losing all sense of control as she crushed her lips against Buffy's in a hard and bruising kiss.

Buffy moaned and she hooked a leg over Faith's hip as soon as Faith let go of the hold her had on her wrists. Buffy's hands went to Faith's head, her fingers tangling in her hair as she kissed her back just as hard. Faith had lost her control, it checked out when Buffy started trying to hit her. She moved a hand between them and flicked open the top of Buffy's jeans, not even hesitating for a second before she plunged her hand down inside her jeans.

"Is this what you want?" Faith grunted as she cupped Buffy roughly, feeling how hot and wet she was through the thin material of her panties.

Buffy whimpered, her fingers digging into the back of Faith's head as she rolled her hips against Faith's hand. Faith could feel that animalistic desire coursing through her and she rubbed her hard, eliciting another moan out of her. She stared down into Buffy's eyes, feeding of the hunger and desire she found in her intense gaze. She slipped her fingers past the edges of her panties, her fingers drowning in the wetness that gathered there.

"Oh god," Buffy trembled beneath her, her leg that was hooked around Faith's waist falling to the side as she spread her legs for her.

"Is this what you want?" Faith asked again and she didn't let Buffy answer her. Her lips crushed against Buffy's, their tongues instantly dancing, dueling for dominance as Faith easily slid a single finger inside her, her heat nearly scorching to the touch.

"No," Buffy said against her lips and it made Faith stop, every movement she'd been making she froze and pulled back from her. "Not like this."

Faith laughed, pulling her hand out of her jeans and forced herself to get up to her feet. It was just a game, she kept reminding herself, just another game that Buffy was playing with her. She didn't know what was happening or why it was happening, but they were just so caught up in a heated moment together that it was becoming entirely screwed up.

"What the hell do you want from me?" Faith nearly yelled at Buffy as she rose to her feet and reached for Faith's hands. "God, Buffy, what do you want from me?"

"I want you to stop fighting this," she whispered, her voice soft and sure. "Please."

"Get out."

"Faith-"

"Get. Out."

Faith was shaking and unable to watch Buffy as she left her room, slamming the door shut behind her and leaving her reeling in a flood of emotions. She let out a ferocious yell, hitting the hard plaster wall with both fists until they were left covered in plaster dust and bleeding. She fell to the floor, fighting the tears that stung her eyes.

_What the hell just happened? What is happening to me? Make it stop. Make. It. Stop._

Faith curled up on the floor, her arms wrapped around herself and she shut out the world in the only way she knew how. She lost herself then for the first time in over three years. She lost herself to the voices in her head, to the feelings that she couldn't shake and to the guilt of letting herself let things get as far as they did with Buffy.

* * *

Willow had felt it that moment she heard Buffy and Faith yelling at each other. She had felt that surge of power, that energy that had once felt like it would never be felt again. She felt that electricity, that crackle of magic that once surged through her when she heard them screaming at each other, but she felt it more when things fell silent and she didn't-couldn't even imagine what was going on up there between them.

That energy could be felt through the entire house. The magic, what shred of it was left, was thriving. Dangerously so. And then it was gone, in an instant, followed by the sound of a door slamming that reverberated so loudly it sounded like she was right there next to it when it had happened.

"Why can't they just let things be?" Willow asked out loud and she was startled when Robin walked into the kitchen, shaking his head.

"Because they'll never let it just be," he said solemnly. "Too much history."

"And then some."

"You need to go to her," Robin said as he motioned above. "She needs you right now, Willow."

"Doubt she wants anyone around right now."

"She _needs_ you," he said again, pointedly so. "You're her best friend. She's fighting this losing battle and we both know if she's left alone, she's going to lose it completely."

"What am I supposed to say?" Willow asked, not even knowing the answer herself. "This is Buffy and whatever just happened between them, it was way more than intense."

"I know. I felt it too," Robin replied, frowning as he rubbed over his head. "We all felt it. Willow, their connection is still very much there and if we want to resolve this, we need to help them resolve whatever it is that is going on between them."

"Good luck with that," Willow scoffed. "You do realize that it took Faith pretty much forever to accept her feelings for Buffy? I've never seen her like that before, Robin. When she told me-"

"I'm glad she finally did."

"You knew?"

"Pretty much from day one. Doesn't take a genius to realize that Faith had broken apart because she couldn't deal with how she felt about _her_. Whatever has just happened between them, we need to be there for her, for Faith. We're all she has right now."

"How?" Willow asked. "How can we be there for her? She'll just shut us down like she always does when it comes to Buffy."

"Try," Robin encouraged. "You're the only one she truly trusts, more than Angel. You have to try, Willow. We need her just as much as we need Buffy right now. If this spell you and Nelly are going to do in a few days is to work, we need them to be on a level ground."

"Without the whole angst and sexual tension throwing them both for a loop?"

"Got it in one."

"Even though she's not a slayer and doesn't have that advantage, I'm still kind of scared of her," Willow said and she breathed out heavily, shaking her head at the look Robin was giving her. "I know she's my best friend. There's just some things we never talk about and one of those things is-"

"Buffy."

Willow nodded and frowned. She knew things had just gotten a whole lot more complicated and they just weren't dealing with Azri'el anymore. They were dealing with Buffy and Faith finally coming to realize what it is they felt about each other. It was the spell, it had to be. Willow was certain of it. Somehow that spell had allowed Buffy to feel whatever it was that Faith was feeling and she acted upon it.

"We were so stupid," Willow said and she hung her head down low. "I knew how Faith felt about her, what she said about feeling connected to Buffy on a level none of us will ever understand. I should've _known_ that that spell would've made Buffy _feel_ what she felt. How could I have been so stupid, Robin?"

"Go talk to her, Willow."

"And Buffy?"

"Don't worry about her, worry about Faith right now. She needs you now more than ever and don't doubt that you can be there for her. She _trusts_ you, Willow," Robin said and he motioned for her to go to Faith. "Just go and be there for her right now. If I can feel that she needs a friend right now more than anything, I know you feel it too."

Willow headed straight upstairs to Faith's room, hesitating just for a moment before she walked in without knocking. She found Faith curled up on the floor, a distant and blankness look in her eyes as she laid there, staring into nothing. Willow laid down next to her and gently ran her hand over her arm, hoping that somehow she could reach her without words.

"Faith," she sighed when there was no reaction. "Don't shut me out, please. It's me, it's Willow," she tried. "Please don't shut me out like you shut everyone else out. I'm not _her_, Faith. Whatever happened between you two, we all felt it and I want to understand. I want to help make it better."

"Go away," Faith rasped. "Just go away and leave me alone, Wil. Please."

"No."

"Just as bad as she is," Faith muttered. "Just can't go away, can't leave me alone. Always gotta play some more games, fucking with me just cos she can."

"Faith..." Willow trailed off and from the emptiness in Faith's eyes, she knew she lost her then. She couldn't stop her tears from falling as she pulled Faith to her. She couldn't even imagine what she was going through and she hated Buffy for putting her through this, for doing whatever it was that she did to put Faith in this state.

There had been a time where Willow would've done anything for Buffy, a time where she understood why Buffy did the things she did. But that time had long since passed and they were further apart from each other, perfect strangers in a sense, and the only thing she did understand was the pain and the heartbreak that Faith was feeling there and now because of Buffy.

She could feel the lingering of her former power, the magic flowing through her, feeding off her own emotions and Faith's. She gently stroked her hair, feeling her shiver as she tried to recoil in her gentle embrace. She had never seen anyone suffer so much from their emotions, fighting so hard to feel everything else but what they really felt. She knew Faith and she knew how far she'd come and how, with Buffy, it would set her back a hundred steps if she wasn't offered a life-line of sorts to pull her out of those dark depths that tempted her back to that side.

"I wish things were different for you, Faith. You don't deserve that pain, that turmoil you go through when it comes to her. I want you to know how to let go, let go of her, the things you feel if it hurts you this much. Goddess, I can feel your pain now and I don't know if it was the spell or what, but I can _feel_ it and it scares me."

Faith twitched in her arms and yet said nothing. Willow held back her tears as she continued to stroke her hair.

Willow worried for her, more now than ever before. After hearing the things that Faith had said to her in regards of her feelings for Buffy, she worried about how it was affecting her, how if something had happened between them-and she knew it did-how it would affect Faith in the long run. She knew how delicate Faith could be, despite her projected hard exterior. She knew that when it came to what she felt, she was vulnerable and at her weakest, subjected to be played into whatever game whoever wanted to play with her that week.

But it was Buffy who had done this to her. And Buffy was different than any of the others. Faith loved Buffy despite trying so hard not to. Whatever had happened between the two of them that night, it had destroyed Faith, brought her to the nearly catatonic state she was in at that moment.

Willow could almost understand, she knew the kind of pull that Buffy had in any and all that were in her life, but when it came to Faith, Buffy was her downfall and her everything all at once and she just wasn't strong enough to learn how to deal with it.

"Don't pull away from me now," Willow whispered to her. "Please, Faith. Don't pull away from me now. I'm here for you. Always. Don't ever forget that."

She held Faith for what felt like hours until she felt the familiar tug of sleep reign her in. She never let her go, holding her close, relishing that moment of being there for her even if she wasn't consciously aware of it.

* * *

Faith woke up late the next morning and she wasn't alone in her bed. Willow was sitting up against the headboard, flipping through on of the magazines she had piled up on the bedside table. With a tired groan, she sat up slowly, not remembering when she'd fallen asleep, but remembering everything else that had happened in vivid detail.

Her hands were still bloody and covered with plaster dust and she frowned as she flexed her hands in and out of a fist. Willow tossed the magazine down on the bed between them and she said nothing, just watching as Faith stood up from her bed and pulled at the clothes she'd slept in all night.

"Hey," Faith said to Willow and she even offered a little smile, forcing it to come out.

"How are you feeling this morning, Faith?"

"Shitty," she replied honestly. "And starving too. Did ya stay in here all night?"

"I wanted to make sure you were going to be okay."

"Feeling alright now," she shrugged, trying to play it off even though she felt far from alright. "How about we head downstairs and get some breakfast?"

"It's nearly lunch time."

"Lunch then."

"Faith?" Willow called out to her before she could open the bedroom door. "Can we talk about what happened last night?"

"Ain't nothing to talk about, Wil."

Faith ran her hands through her hair, wincing at the pain she felt with every little movement she made with her fingers. Punching the wall had been a mistake. Kissing Buffy back had been a mistake. Nearly fucking Buffy on her bedroom floor had definitely been a mistake.

"I know something happened with-"

"She fucking kissed me, Wil!" Faith said, her voice raising as she spun around to look at her. "She came in here and she fucking kissed me. Things got outta hand, okay, and it left with me kicking her out once all was said and done."

"Did you-"

"No," she snapped. "Almost, but no."

"Oh."

"Why does she do this to me?" Faith whispered as she sat down on the bed facing Willow. "Why does she get to play these games with me and I just let her? I almost lost control of myself, Wil, and I didn't want to let things get as far as they did. If it were up to her, if I played her little game she was reeling me into last night, it would've been her in my bed this morning and not you."

Faith could see the wheels turning in Willow's head, yet she kept her face expressionless as she could manage. Faith felt like she was teetering on the edge she'd fallen over last night, where she lost a part of herself to that darkness that would always linger inside of her.

"I felt it last night," Willow whispered. "I knew there was something going on up here with you two. I could feel the magic, the power of it and it was electrifying. And then it was gone and I knew things hadn't ended well for either of you. I don't know why she does this to you, why she is the way she is. If I knew, I'd tell you, but I don't even know her anymore."

"You felt it?" Faith questioned, confused. "How could you feel what was happening?"

"When we did the spell, we saw what your connection did when you two just held hands. I felt it then too, but not nearly as much as I did after you two had left the dining room. Faith, what you two have inside of you, it's stronger when you are closer together than it is when you're apart. If we want this spell to work, we need you two to be-"

"Close. Got it."

"Faith-"

"I'll deal. For the greater good, right?"

"It's going to be a few days, maybe a week before we can do the spell to locate and bring the orb here to us. There are some things that we need that are going to be a little difficult to get our hands on."

"Oh yeah? Difficult how?"

"There needs to be a knife blessed by two blind monks in Tibet that we'll use to sacrifice a full-grown hen born specifically on the third full moon of the year. Like I said, a little bit difficult, but between Colin and Nelly, even Andrew, they have connections that can get us what we need. It'll just take some time."

"In the meantime?" Faith asked. "We're gonna do what? Same old song and dance we've been doing since we got here? Little bit of research, little bit of doing nothing at all, maybe see if we can score some of that old Scotch that Nelly won't let anyone drink."

Willow laughed and shook her head. "How about we just go and get something to eat to start with and let the day happen however it happens?"

Faith smiled a little. She could count on Willow, even now, to be there for her and she had truly thought that after being around Buffy and Xander, that Willow might've gone back to being the way she was. Who was she kidding? Everything had changed and after last night, she knew that Willow wasn't going anywhere.

There were things she was confused about, but knew questioning it wouldn't get her anywhere right now. Not even Willow could give her a definite answer as to why the connection she had with Buffy still lingered, why it was stronger when they touched rather than just being in the same room together. It made her a little uneasy because it made her feel vulnerable knowing that when she was that close to Buffy, she became an entirely different person until she grabbed a hold of her emotions and shut her out.

Things were never going to be easy, not when it came to Buffy. Faith knew she was stupid to think that'd change. But maybe things had changed and still were and she was just caught in the middle of a coming storm she could just feel was about to get bigger before it died off completely, leaving a trail of destruction along the way.

* * *

Faith sat alone in the den, watching the newly built fire burn in the fireplace. She had spent most of the day by herself, locked in her room. She finally was able to sleep some more, her body in a state of relief it was getting the rest she had been denied for weeks. Outside, the sun was slipping beyond the horizon and she could already feel the cold chill the night was bringing even in the den with the warmth of the fire licking at her skin.

It didn't matter whether she tried to shut out all thoughts about Buffy, they just kept on coming back to her, the events of the day before replaying over and over again. Faith didn't know how to stop them, how to shut her out like she'd been able to do so easily before. Even after what happened between them, she still loved her. It was something she couldn't turn on or off like a light switch, although there were a lot of times she wished she could do just that.

Faith felt her before she saw her and she groaned softly, burying her face into her hands. She could feel the tension in the back of her neck and all she wanted was to be left alone.

"Are ya ever gonna leave me alone, Buffy?"

"Faith-"

"Why can't you just fucking leave me alone, huh?" Faith snapped and she turned in the chair, dropping her hands from her face as she glared at Buffy as she lingered by the closed door.

"Why are you shutting me out? Why do you have to keep pushing me away?"

Faith scoffed, fighting the urge to laugh at her. She didn't say anything and instead she turned and faced the fireplace again, focusing all her attention on the flames curling over the wood. Faith clenched her fists as Buffy walked over and stood by her chair, leaving just enough space between them that it didn't feel like she was right in Faith's face.

"I thought we were going to try to be friends?" Buffy said quietly and Faith rolled her eyes. She stood up from the chair and walked over to the fireplace. "Is this how it's going to be now? You're just going to ignore me?"

"Maybe then you'll get the hint just to leave me alone."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Suit yourself," Faith said and she turned quickly on her heels and headed for the door. Buffy moved quickly and put herself between Faith and the door. "Move."

"No."

Faith laughed hard and cold and she grabbed Buffy's shoulders. "Look, what happened yesterday has really fucked with my head, so if you're looking to finish this, think again. It's already _done_. Now get out of my way and just leave me the fuck alone, will ya?"

Buffy stood her ground, her face hard and stoic as she struggled against Faith trying to move her from blocking the door. Faith growled in frustration and pushed her up against the door hard, catching her slightly off guard. She was angry and it showed, but the intensity in Buffy's eyes was unlike anything she'd seen before. She felt drawn in to her and she was trying so hard to detach herself from everything that Buffy was making her feel.

Faith crushed her lips against Buffy's in a bruising kiss, allowing herself to let go and give in to whatever was going on between them. She was giving in to what had started yesterday before she had been the one to put a stop to things. Faith moaned into Buffy's mouth, her hands gripping Buffy's waist as she pulled her against her and away from the door. She pulled back just enough to catch her breath and she opened her eyes to find Buffy's staring right back into hers.

They were clinging to each other and Faith didn't even realize that Buffy was slowly leading them away from the door and over to one of the couches in the middle of the room. Faith tried to get herself to stop, tried to let go of Buffy, push her away and make a run for it, but that intensity in Buffy's eyes was what kept her lost in the moment and trapped into everything that Buffy was making her feel.

"This is far from being done, Faith," Buffy whispered against her lips. "Whatever is happening between us, just let go and stop fighting it. Just let whatever is going to happen, happen."

"What do you want from me, Buffy?" Faith asked her and she stopped Buffy when she tried to kiss her. "You want a one off? Get some, get gone? Is that what you want from me?"

"No, I-"

"You think that's what I want from you, don't you? Well fuck you if that's what you think I want from you, Buffy. Just fuck you and your goddamn head games!"

Buffy fell silent, her hands dropping away from Faith quickly like she'd been scalded just by touching her. Faith laughed incredulously and headed for the door, not surprised when Buffy tried to put herself between her and the door yet again. Faith wasn't having any of it and she pushed Buffy out of the way, forcefully yanking the door open and she stormed down the hall to the front door. She nearly ripped her jacket off the hook and stepped into her boots, heading straight out the front door and slamming it shut behind her.

Faith screamed out ferociously, her whole body trembling as she grabbed on to the side of her truck to keep from falling to the cold, hard ground. She yanked the door open and climbed into the truck, fumbling through her jacket looking for the keys. She had to get out of there, she had to get as far away from Buffy as she possibly could. She couldn't think straight around her or even just being in the same house as her.

"Shit," Faith yelled as she found her pockets empty of her keys. She could've sworn after she'd been in the truck the last time she'd kept them in her jacket pocket right where they always were. "Can this day possibly get any worse?"

"Maybe," Andrew said from where he sat on the passenger seat. "Depends on what you're planning to do, where you're planning on going. If you leave the property-"

"Jesus, Andrew! What the hell are you doing in my truck?"

Andrew shrugged and ran a single finger over her dash. "When is the last time you cleaned in here?"

"Andrew..."

"Fine, fine!" Andrew said quickly, holding up his hands in surrender. "I wanted to go for a drive and your keys were the only ones I could find. Then I figured that if you found out I'd taken your truck, you'd probably kill me, slayer or not."

Faith held out her hand and Andrew willingly handed over her keys. "Now get out."

"Is there something wrong, Faith?"

"Get. Out."

"Come on, Faith," Andrew pleaded. "If you're going for a drive, can I come?"

"No."

Faith reached over him and opened the door. Andrew braced himself and struggled against her trying to push him out of her truck. Sighing, Faith sat back in her seat and gripped the steering wheel hard. Andrew shut the door again and turned to look at her with a smug grin on his face.

"Where we going?"

"Just for a drive. Do yourself a favor and shut up unless you want me to dump you at the edge of the property and you'll be walking back in the cold and the dark."

"Shutting up now."

Faith rolled her eyes and drove off towards the gravel road that led around the property. She turned on the radio and cranked it as loud as she could stand. It was all that she could do to forget that she'd been ambushed by Andrew and to push back all the thoughts of Buffy. In fact she was almost grateful Andrew was there, at least then she wouldn't be alone with the thoughts in her head that were threatening to drive her completely insane.

* * *

Willow knocked on Buffy's bedroom door shortly after she'd heard the front door slam followed a few minutes later by the sound of Buffy running upstairs. She needed a break from research anyway and she wanted to find out what was going on. She had felt it earlier, that intensity of magic rippling through the air and with the way Faith had gone running out of the house, it left her concerned that something had happened between her and Buffy again and she was going to find out just what Buffy thought she was doing messing with Faith like that.

"Who is it?"

"It's me," Willow replied. "Can I come in?"

Buffy opened the door for her a minute later and Willow wasn't prepared to see the look that was on her face. She'd been crying and still was, but it was clear she was struggling to fight back the tears now that Willow was there.

"If you've come to yell at me, have at it, Wil. It's not like I don't deserve it."

"I didn't come to yell at you," she replied with a frown and followed her into the bedroom. Willow shut the door behind her and took a deep breath. "What happened, Buffy?"

"You mean yesterday or ten minutes ago?"

"I know about yesterday," Willow said, her voice calm and steady even though she really did want to yell at Buffy right now no matter what state of mind she was in. "What happened today?"

"I went to her. I just wanted to talk to her, Wil. She keeps shutting me out no matter what and I just can't stand it anymore. I can't stand it."

Willow approached her cautiously, not sure what she was getting at. It'd been a long time since they'd been close and Willow couldn't even remember the last time that she and Buffy had a nice long, heart to heart. Before the end of Sunnydale, that much she knew.

"What can't you stand, Buffy?"

"The fact that all I feel now that I'm here is _her_ and it's driving me crazy because I can't shut these feelings off, I can't make them go away and all I want is for her to know that what she feels for me, I'm feeling it too!"

Buffy's hands flew up to her mouth after she'd practically yelled the words out at Willow and she sat heavily down on the bed, her whole body shaking as she tried to suppress her tears. Willow was as surprised as she was to hear that come out of her mouth. She was in no way prepared to deal with a situation like this. It was bad enough that Faith had told her everything she felt about Buffy just the other night, but in Faith's case, she already knew.

"How long have you been feeling it?" Willow asked her, choosing to stay standing while Buffy sat on the bed. "Buffy?"

"A-a while. I'm not sure."

"Since you've been here or before?"

"If I say before, are you going to ask me for how long and when it started because I really can't answer that question, Wil."

"This is kind of crazy," Willow said under her breath, mostly to herself. "A lot has been happening this year and just this past month, hello crazy-town, population all of us involved in this situation!"

"Faith and I are a situation?"

"No, the whole Azri'el situation," Willow replied and found it hard not to laugh at the oblivious look on Buffy's face. "Look, Buffy, I know things haven't been the same between us for a long time now, but you need to know that I care about Faith and the last thing I want to see is for you to hurt her again. If you have feelings for her, give her some time before you tell her what it is that you feel about her, whether it's lust or love or something in between that. Don't throw yourself at her. I know her better than anyone and for you to throw yourself at her the way you did, it confuses her."

"I never thought-"

"No, you didn't think at all. How else did you think she'd react? Did you think she wouldn't push you away? That she'd take whatever it is you were offering to her at the time?" Willow spat and she shook her head. "I know you aren't stupid and that you've known, probably for a long time or even just had a feeling that Faith is in love with you. How else did you expect her to react when all she's ever done is fight what she's felt when it comes to you?"

Buffy buried her face into her hands, her body shaking as she cried softly. Willow knew she should feel bad for saying what she did, but all of it was the truth and Faith was her friend, her best friend, and there was no way she was going to let Buffy pull her back down into the darkness she'd left behind long ago.

"Do yourself _and_ Faith a favor and give her the space she wants. If she tells you to leave her alone, then you do just that. You can't force something to happen between you two, not now of all times when we're in a heavy situation that we're so close to putting an end to. Just for once would you stop being so damn selfish and think before you act?" Willow said angrily and she reached for the door, yanking it open. "You know what?" She said as she looked over at Buffy. "I can't wait for this whole thing to be done and over with so you can go back to your pathetic life in San Francisco, acting like none of us even matter."

And with that Willow left her room with not a single regret for saying what she had to say.


	12. Chapter 12

**_Chapter Twelve_**

Faith sat on Willow's bed, munching on a bag of Doritos while she listened to Willow tell her about her little confrontation she'd had with Buffy while she'd been out driving around in her truck with Andrew. Faith knew when she'd come back that something was up, especially when she didn't find Willow in the dining room researching with the others.

"So, let me get this straight," Faith said, wiping her hands on her jeans, staining the faded blue jeans an orange from the Doritos build-up on her fingers. "She was upset over this whole thing? Boy, she really can lay it on thick when she wants to."

"Yeah," Willow shrugged. "I guess so."

"You don't think she was acting, do ya?"

"It doesn't matter, Faith. Right now we have to deal with Azri'el and we have to do that spell to locate the orb and have it here with us so we can fix this whole thing. Once we do that-"

"We can find him and kick his ass?"

"Right."

"Can it be that easy?"

"We can only hope," Willow replied with a smile. "Nelly and I were looking into a way to block Azri'el from using what magic is left. There's no real way to do it, but Nelly has a few ideas. They're far fetched, but we have nothing else to go by right now and it's worth giving it a shot. We need to try something because without magic, he cannot protect himself and that can give you guys a window, one that'll be open just long enough to kill him."

Faith knew what Willow was doing and it was working. Talking about Azri'el was taking her mind off of Buffy, but not for very long. Sighing, she got up from the bed and paced around Willow's room. It was similar to hers in size, the bed and dresser roughly positioned in the same spot, but the walls were a shade of pink with peeling wallpaper boarder of roses near the ceiling. It was brighter, even at night. It just had a completely different feel that the room she'd chosen to stay in while they were there.

She glanced down at her hands, her knuckles still bruised and bloody from when she'd punched the wall the night before. They were sore, but she'd hardly noticed it most of the day, everything felt so numb since she was just being consumed by all her emotions all at once.

Andrew had a lot to say to her during their drive around the property, most of which she had pretended to ignore since she hadn't been in any mood to talk to anyone, much less him. Yet, Andrew, being as overly observant as he always was, had a few good points, especially when it came to the small changes in her personality. He had said that a lot of her had depended on the slayer, it was what gave her more than just physical strength, it had given her emotional strength. It made a lot of sense to her because of how she'd been feeling ever since. She never told him he was right though, but what he left her with had got her thinking. He had told her she was stronger than she thought she was without the slayer inside her, she just had to figure out how to bring that up to the surface.

Faith found it funny how, even though Andrew was pretty much loyal to Buffy and had been right from the start, he still had a little faith in her, still believed in her that she could be a better person and that she could be stronger without being a slayer. As annoying as she found him, she knew he was a good guy underneath that annoying personality of his and he was smart and had helped Buffy and plenty of others out of a couple of nasty jams in the past, herself and Angel included.

She thought back to what Willow had just told her about Buffy and it set off a whole new slew of questions that fired off one by one, over and over again. Buffy had feelings for her and she sure had a strange way of showing it. They both had what seemed like mutual feelings, be it because of their lingering slayer connection or not. A relationship was pretty much out of the question and she knew it would take far too much work for it to actually work out. After all was said and done, once they had defeated Azri'el and restored the slayer essence to all those who had it before, they would go back to their normal lives, living on the opposite sides of the country. There was no way any kind of a relationship would work between them, not even a friendship since it was apparent that not even a friendship could last between Buffy and Willow when they weren't living in the same city as each other.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Willow asked her, smiling when Faith looked over at her.

"Gonna cost ya more than a penny for these thoughts, Wil."

"What are we talking about here? Ten, twenty dollars?"

Faith chuckled and wiggled her eyebrows. "Can't put a price on these thoughts of mine."

"Faith..." Willow whined and Faith reached behind her and threw the pillow at her, narrowly missing her face. "You're such an ass."

"Do ya think we'll be back home for Christmas?" Faith asked her.

"I don't know. I hope so."

"Yeah, me too. If not, you'll have to forgive me if I end up finding your gifts in this house and you can't say they're really crappy cos it's not like I can leave to get ya something good for Christmas and before you say it, yeah I know you don't celebrate it. Doesn't meant I can't get ya a little something."

"It's called online shopping," Willow said, coughing as she motioned to her laptop. "The connection is a hit and miss here, but sometimes it works."

Faith laughed and reached for the other pillow only to find the first one flying back at her and hitting her square in the face. It warmed her heart to know she had someone like Willow in her life, someone who cared and who she could be herself with, even now where they were, the situation they were in, it made everything feel like no matter what did happen between then and the time they finally got to go home, they'd get through it together.

* * *

"_...and we're expecting at least thirty-seven additional centimeters of snow by tomorrow morning. Expect massive delays during morning rush hour..._"

"How many inches is that?" Dawn asked, sounding bored out of her mind as they all sat around the den, the fire crackling and the only thing keeping the house just a little bit warmer than freezing.

It had started snowing hard early in the evening and it wasn't long before the power was knocked out by the high winds whipping and roaring outside. It meant one thing since the only room in the house with a wood burning fireplace was in the den, that they'd all be stuck in there together throughout the night. Faith wasn't happy and she'd dragged one of the armchairs over to the furthest corner of the room just to put some distance between her and Buffy.

"We've already got about twenty," Colin said as he peered out the window. "If we get what they just said on the storm radio, we'll have-in inches-twenty-one inches of snow by the morning."

"That's a lot of snow!" Andrew exclaimed and he jumped off the couch and joined Colin at the window. "What if we're snowed in for days? What if we don't have any power? The food! We're going to run out of food because it'll spoil without power!"

"Relax," Colin laughed. "Nelly and I are always prepared. The fridge can be hooked up to propane and we got a few cylinders in the cellar that are full and ready to go. We have plenty of supplies and food to get us through at least a week, but here? We're used to heavy snowfalls and it won't be more than a day before the power is back on. Trust me, Andy."

Faith laughed quietly to herself and pulled the wool blanket she'd grabbed from the dresser in her room tighter around her. Since she was further from the fireplace, it was cooler and she couldn't stop shivering. She kept cursing that this had happened in winter and she remembered what Jamie had said back at the lake house how she wished that it had happened during the summer. Faith was starting to wish that same thing too. Despite growing up in Boston, she'd never get used to the cold, just like she could never get used to the hot, humid summers in Cleveland either.

Faith looked over at Buffy. She was sitting on the couch next to Dawn and Xander. Willow was sitting next to her on the other side and they were talking quietly, occasionally laughing at something that one of them said. Nelly was in his chair closest to the fire, already snoring and perfectly comfortable despite this sudden snowstorm that kind of threw them all for a loop. Wood was resting on one of the half a dozen cots that Colin had brought in earlier and beside him Angel sat on another, a candle burning near him and his full attention on a book, an old novel Faith was pretty sure she'd seen him read a hundred times before back in London.

She hadn't seen or talked to Angel much in a couple of days. He seemed to be keeping to himself and that was something she was so used to it hadn't even registered in her mind that in the midst of everything, the one person that meant a lot to her was noticeably absent. Yet, he seemed unnerved about it, too engrossed in his book to bother with what was happening around him. Faith had always admired him for that, his ability to just shut out the rest of the world and be at one with himself, whether if it was with a book or a nice blend of warm blood in his favorite mug. She did keep thinking about whether Angel knew what had happened between her and Buffy and what he thought if he did know. Was he avoiding her purposely? Or was he just doing what he always does and still completely oblivious to what had happened over the last couple of days? She was almost afraid to know the answer to that question.

Her attention spanned over to Colin and Andrew, both still standing at the window and watching the storm roaring outside. It didn't take a genius to know there was something going on between them and over the past month, the signs were all there. The subtle flirting, the looks exchanged between the two, the casual yet sneaky touches they exchanged when they were close. Faith had her suspicions about Andrew for a long time, they all did, but after getting to know Colin a little bit, she was surprised when it came to him. Especially in his taste of men. Apparently he preferred his men smaller than average, geeky beyond belief with a tendency to talk way too much about anything and everything.

_Everyone deserves love, one way or another, however it comes._

Staying on the love train of thought, Faith thought about Dawn and Xander. They weren't overly affectionate, barely if that. She had a feeling that things had been hard between them and it had been that way for quite some time. The two barely spend time together, especially alone, and when they were together, they didn't act like a couple and they barely even looked at each other. Faith had a feeling in her gut that something wasn't right in their relationship and a part of her felt a bit sad about that. Those fake memories that still felt so very real when it came to Dawn, she still felt that Dawn deserved that piece of happiness, to know the love of someone who truly, deeply, madly loved her. Maybe Xander did once, but whatever they had had years ago, whatever magic that had sparked between them, it was long gone and it had been for a long time.

And when it came to Kennedy, the way she would look at Willow sometimes wasn't lost on her. Not at all. She could see the longing, the hurt, the guilt-she could see everything just in a split second when her eyes would linger on Willow. She missed her, but was holding herself back. Willow had been the one that broke up with her and even after nearly two years, she was still hurting from that, still reeling from the loss. Kennedy was feeling her own sense of loss as well, the loss of her slayer essence and there was no doubt in Faith's mind that she was now just understanding what Willow had gone through after the Seed had been destroyed and likely understanding, finally, why Willow had broken up with her and left San Francisco.

When it came to Wood, she knew he was hurting over the loss of three slayers under his care. He had grown to love those girls, those three out of the many that came and went from under his care and in his home. Faith could see that hurt every time she looked at him and it was disheartening to see him so broken. There wasn't anything she could do about it either. They were on good terms, but only to a point. Wood was a friend in a sense to her, but they didn't talk about anything other than slayer related business. Their tried and failed relationship was long gone, one for the history books of relationships if one could call it that. Even through everything the two had been through, Faith just couldn't write him off because it didn't work out. He wasn't the one, he wasn't close to being the one, but he had shown her kindness when nobody else had, he had shown her tenderness and what it was like to slow down and really live in the moment even if it didn't matter in the end.

The sound of Buffy's laughter brought her back down and away from the many thoughts that consumed her. Her eyes fell upon Buffy and she couldn't look at away. Just looking at her brought her back to the first time that Buffy kissed her and to how things had gotten so out of hand. It felt like it had happened a million years ago even though it had just been the day before. Every moment was burned in her mind, front, back and center and she couldn't shake the feeling of how Buffy's lips had felt against her own, how good it felt with Buffy so close to her, so close she could feel her inside and out and everything in between.

"Couple shots of whisky for your thoughts?" Willow asked as she stood in front of Faith holding a bottle in one hand and two shot glasses in the other. "What do you say?"

"I say...you won't make it past three before you're praying to the porcelain gods all night long, Wil," Faith chuckled and she shook her head. Willow just wasn't going to leave it alone until she told her something, anything that was on her mind. "Besides, it's gonna cost ya a whole lot more than some primo whisky to get these thoughts outta my head."

"If you're doing shots, I'm in," Kennedy said as she sauntered over to them and she placed an empty shot glass on the arm of the chair Faith was sitting in. "Pour it up, Faith."

Laughing, Faith took the two shot glasses from Willow and lined them up beside the one Kennedy placed on the arm of her chair. It was Willow who poured the whisky into each glass, careful not to spill a drop. Faith raised the glass she picked up and waited for Willow and Kennedy to join her in a silent toast before the three of them downed the shot of whisky, it going down hard for all of them.

"If that's my Glenfarclas bottle, you best be sharing it with everyone," Nelly grunted from his chair, his eyes barely open. "That right there? Cost about two grand for a bottle like that these days."

"Shit," Faith groaned as she grabbed the bottle from Willow. "Where'd you get this expensive hooch from, Nelly?"

"Collected over the years. Got a cellar full. If we're gonna drink the best of the best, it's best everyone gets a taste."

"Should I not have grabbed this one?" Willow asked as she grabbed the bottle back from Faith. "Can we pay him back for this?"

"No need, girl," Nelly laughed as he rose from his chair. "Been saving that for a rainy day. Snow, rain, what's the difference now, eh?"

"We need to pay him back," Willow said in an exaggerated whisper. "It feels wrong."

Faith took her shot first, the burn feeling good as the whisky slid down her throat. Kennedy took her shot easily, but Willow coughed, sputtered and shakily put the glass down on the arm of the chair and handed the bottle to Faith. While she poured them each a second shot, she could feel the eyes of the others in the room on them. Sure it was irresponsible to be drinking, but they were snowed in and tired of endless days of researching. They needed a little bit of fun in their lives even if it was with a bottle of very ridiculously expensive whisky.

They slowed things down after that, already feeling that delicious buzz off two shots. Faith kind of missed being a slayer. It'd always meant it took her just a little bit more to feel that buzz. But she wasn't a lightweight, never had been and even though it wasn't something she was proud of, she knew she could still keep her head together with a few drinks in her if it came down to it.

The three of them ended up sitting on the floor by the chair, talking quietly, mostly casual talk about what they'd all been up to over the last couple of years and slaying related talk ensued between Faith and Kennedy. There were a few laughs, a few awkward moments of silence when Kennedy asked Willow if she'd been dating anyone. The whole time they were talking, Faith kept looking across the room at Buffy, unable to stop herself each and every time she did. She wasn't the only one doing it, Buffy would look at her too, coincidentally almost at the exact moment her eyes wandered over the room and just so happened to land on her as she sat on the couch with Dawn, Xander having moved over to the cots and was now engaged in a conversation with Wood and Angel.

One by one, they started to fall asleep as the night drew on until it was only Faith and Buffy still awake, their eyes lingering on one another for mere moments at a time before one or the other would look away like nothing had happened. The whisky, just a few shots of it, had dulled Faith's mind and she was grateful for that, but it didn't dim that buzz she knew she felt because Buffy was there in the room with her.

When she felt that familiar tug of sleep, she didn't move from where she sat in the chair. Moving meant she'd be closer to where Buffy was and she already felt she was close enough as it was. The last things she thought of before she fell asleep was how much easier it'd be if nothing had happened between them, if she hadn't told Willow what she felt about Buffy and if, when it came down to it all, that she just didn't feel the way she did.

But she couldn't help it. There was just something about her that once she got in under your skin and in your heart and soul, you just couldn't shake it. At least now Faith could handle it better than she could years ago when it had driven and literally pushed her over the edge the more she had fought it.

* * *

Faith woke up early in the morning, far too early. The fire was still going strong and she suspected one of them had been keeping it burning all night long to keep the warmth in the room. She wrapped her blanket around her and grabbed the flashlight by her chair. Quietly, she made her way out of the den and headed upstairs to the bathroom.

Faith didn't make it close to the bathroom. Buffy stood there by the door, her own blanket wrapped around her and she was without a flashlight. Careful not to shine the light into Buffy's face, Faith could see that she'd been crying, her eyes red and her cheeks stained with tears. Lowering her light, she took a hesitant step forward.

"B? You okay?"

"No," she whispered. "I am not okay."

"What ya doing up here?"

"I had to use the bathroom," she replied and she scoffed, shaking her head as Faith turned to walk back towards the stairs. "So you're still purposely avoiding me?"

"Pretty much," Faith replied as she came to a standstill. She turned around to look back at Buffy. "What you crying for?"

"Like you care."

"Try me."

Buffy shook her head no and tried to walk past Faith. With a huff, Faith grabbed her and stopped her from walking away. Faith let go of her arm and stood there, staring at her, her hand that held the flashlight shaking-mostly from it being so cold up there and too because she wasn't sure what the hell was going on between them right now.

"What's got you all worked up and upset?" Faith tried again.

"How could I have been so stupid?" Buffy said, not as a question but more of a statement. Faith shrugged and was getting the feeling that this wasn't about what had happened between them. "How could I have not known who he was? When I met him, I was still a slayer and I should've been able to see that he was different, that something wasn't right, that he wasn't human, but boy did he ever look and feel human to me."

"It's just a mistake, Buffy. These things happen."

"To me! These things happen to _me_! You were barely at the lake house for a few hours and you figured out who he really was. He was in my life for _months_ and I didn't even know!"

"Buffy-"

"No, don't touch me, don't tell me that people make mistakes and that it's okay. I made the biggest mistake allowing him into my life and now three girls are dead and god knows how many others he's killed before them or since."

Faith took a few deep breaths and wrapped her arms around Buffy, ignoring the chill in the air as her blanket fell from around her. She held Buffy close, feeling her entire body shudder as she started crying. She had no idea why she was doing this, why she was holding Buffy instead of letting her deal with this on her own. But there was something about the way she had looked at her when she spoke, the fear and guilt so heavy in her voice. Faith gingerly kissed the side of her head, something she didn't realize she was doing until she pulled away.

"Faith? What-"

"Look, Azri'el probably had a spell working in his favor, making sure you didn't and couldn't figure out who he really was that whole time. It's all a part of this messed up game he's playing with us, all right? It's not your fault-well, maybe it is a little cos you never gave any of us a heads up when your powers were taken from ya, but still, it's not entirely your fault, B," Faith whispered and she continued to hold on to Buffy tight, keeping her close to her. "We're gonna figure this out. Gonna promise ya that when it's all over, things will be right as rain again."

"When this is all over," Buffy said and she looked right into Faith's eyes. Even in the dim light coming from the flashlight still in Faith's hand, she could see the intensity that shone in Buffy's eyes and it was drawing her in. "When this is all over, I want to figure out how to fix all the things that went wrong over the years. I want to fix things with Willow, but most importantly, I want to figure out whatever it is that's going on between us."

"Buffy-"

"I know this is crazy, but it's there and it's real and I can't deny it anymore, Faith. I don't _want_ to and the things I felt during that spell, everything I felt coming from you, it woke something up inside of me. It's driving me crazy because all I want is for you to stop fighting this, stop fighting me and whatever it is you're afraid of."

Buffy gently cupped Faith's face and pulled her in for a soft lingering kiss. Faith felt it then, she knew she did, because it was warm and real and it was pulling her in. She could feel the intensity of Buffy's feelings, all of them all at once and it made her reel back. She pulled back from Buffy's lips and dropped the flashlight to the floor.

Giving in meant she would give up the fight she'd been fighting, the fight to keep herself from falling in love with Buffy. She knew she already loved her, those feelings were there and burning stronger than ever, but to fall _in_ love with Buffy was the one thing that really scared her. It was new and something she had zero experience with. And it was Buffy, someone she'd never thought in a million lifetimes would ever even entertain the notion of being with someone like her.

If Willow and Nelly had never tried that spell, they wouldn't even be in this situation, fighting and yet clinging to what they felt between them and what was left of their connection. Faith knew that if that spell had never happened, that connection she could feel with Buffy wouldn't be as open as it was for them now, especially with them clinging to each other.

"We can take things slow," Buffy whispered and she frowned when Faith turned to look away from her. "We can even wait until we deal with Azri'el to figure out what's going on between us if that's what you want."

"What I want?" Faith asked. "There are a lot of things that I want."

_For you to leave me alone, let me deal with this in my own way without you making things even more complicated than they already are._

_For you to let me figure out what I want when it comes to you without you being right there in front of me, making it hard for me to think clearly._

_For you not to love me, for you to act like I don't matter to you, like it was before._

All the things she couldn't say, repeated over and over in her mind. She wanted to go tell Buffy to leave her alone, to fuck off and all the other things she'd said to her over the past couple of days when they found themselves this close to each other, but she couldn't and she didn't understand why. Nothing had changed and yet everything had changed. How or when or why, Faith didn't know.

_Maybe I'm just stuck in a dream and I'll wake up any minute now. Yep. Any minute now..._

"What do you want, Faith?" Buffy asked her and she blinked, feeling a little confused, her mind elsewhere. "Name one thing that you want and it could be anything."

"I want to not be here in this sitch and feeling weak and helpless, for starters," she replied and when Buffy rolled her eyes, she dropped her arms from around her and took a step back. She bent down and picked up her blanket, wrapping it around her before reaching for the flashlight. "I want things to go back to the way they were where the only thing I had to deal with was trying to figure out how to hunt down the vamps since things had gotten pretty slow lately. Damn, we even thought we were finally winning the good fight and bam, this shit happens."

"We were winning, we still are."

"Whatever, the point is there are a lot of things that I want and I know better than to be stupid thinking that I'll get any of it. Thing is? I haven't had it all that easy in life and me getting what I want? It doesn't always work out the way I always hope it will."

"Everything is different now, Faith."

"No shit," Faith chuckled bitterly. "I wouldn't change anything except for that bastard taking the one thing that made me _me_ and I want to kill him for putting us through this shit right now. For all we know, he's out there killing off former slayers, one by one."

"What else do you want?"

"How about you, B?" Faith asked her. "What do you want?"

"Like you, I want a lot of things. I want things to go back to normal and no, not the way they'd been in recent years, but back to the way things had been when we were all in Sunnydale. I want my friends, all of them, back in my life and I want to go through all of the little experiences that make life interesting and I want for us to go through them all, the good and the bad, together, like it used to be."

Faith understood what she was getting at. She missed the way life had been before the end of Sunnydale, before everyone went off around the world, doing their own thing, before Scotland and the school they had there, and definitely before that whole Twilight mess. Faith missed it too, but what she missed the most was having Giles around, knowing he was there for her on her side and would have her back when she needed him the most.

"I want a lot of things, Faith. I know you don't understand that what I feel is very real. I know you're wondering if it's just because of the spell, but I can tell you one thing," she said quietly and she held her gaze with Faith. She took a deep yet shaky breath and let it out slowly. "What I feel when it comes to you, it didn't just happen because of the spell. I've always felt a lot of things when it came to you and so much of it was so confusing for me and it still is. I know this isn't ideal, I know this isn't something any of us saw coming, but what I want is for you to stop pushing me away, stop fighting this and let me in. Let me love you the way I know you want me to."

"We got some heavy history between us, Buffy. If I stop fighting this and give in, how's it gonna work? It's not going to be easy. It's gonna be hard and we're gonna fight no matter what, cos fighting? That's what we do best, isn't it?" Faith asked her and she groaned and moved to sit down on the top step of the stairs. "You drive me crazy sometimes, you know that? You don't even have to be around and just thinking about you gets me all riled up."

"I'm sorry?" Buffy offered, the look on her face obvious she had no idea what else to say as she sat down next to Faith.

"When ya kissed me, it threw me cos it was completely out of nowhere, at least it was for me. Don't know what went through your head when you just up and kissed me like that."

"I don't know either, but it just felt like the right thing to do."

"Right, cos you're all about making the right decisions whenever ya get the chance," Faith scoffed and she looked over at her. "You being like this with me right now? It's kind of wigging me out."

"Why?"

"Cos it's you, B."

"Is there something wrong with me?"

"You don't get it, do you?" Faith asked her and she just stared at her, waiting for her to continue. "The funny thing is, I've always felt something for you and even when I tried to push it all down, deny and ignore it, turns out I wasn't too good at hiding it like I thought. When I told Wil the other day that I-how I-well, she already knew."

"She did?"

"She blurted it out before I even got there," Faith replied and she shrugged. "Whatever, the point is, you being like this with me right now? After kissing me and basically telling me ya want me and whatever, it's thrown me and I don't know how to deal with this."

"Because it's me."

"Right."

"Because it's so hard to believe that someone like me would ever feel the way I do about someone like you? Because we have history? Because even after we've tried to be friends since we've been here, it never quite works out? Well, forget about all of that, Faith. Sometimes people just feel the way they do, sometimes they don't know it until something inside them clicks and then everything that was confusing and frustrating and every other "ing" that it's been in the past, it suddenly all makes sense."

Faith sighed and stared down at the beam of light shining from the flashlight. What Buffy was saying to her was a lot to soak in. The thing she wondered is why Buffy was trying to pursue something with her, why now, why after years of not even bothering to keep in touch Buffy suddenly wanted something with her? Was it a relationship she was after? Or just something on a more casual basis with plenty of sex and none of that mushy, messy relationship stuff Faith wasn't even remotely experienced in?

"What do ya want from me, Buffy?" Faith asked her, suddenly feeling so tired and feeling like this was the hundredth time she'd asked her that question over the span of a couple of days.

"You know what surprises me the most about you?" Buffy asked her, ignoring her question. "The fact that you feel the way you do about me and when I throw myself at you, tell you that I want you and that I want you to stop fighting this and see where it takes us, you keep pushing me away."

"You expected me to fall in line, give in without a single thought?" Faith asked, chuckling dryly as she gripped the flashlight harder. "Thing is, if something like this happened years back, if you'd came out and kissed me like that, I wouldn't have stopped, wouldn't have thought twice about getting some and having my way with you. Thing is, Buffy, I haven't been like that for a long time and that's something about myself I'm actually proud of, you know?"

"And you know what else is surprising?" Buffy asked her and she shook her head no. "This is the longest we've ever talked, ever."

"Yeah well, you're the type of chick who likes to talk about all these feelings and things like that and me? Never thought I had it in me. Guessing being friends with Wil helped me have a bit of an easier time just opening up when it comes down to it."

"She's good like that. It's a part of many things that make her an amazing friend to have."

The sadness in Buffy's voice was apparent, but even Faith knew that it wasn't just Willow's fault they'd fallen out. It was Buffy's too, for becoming so wrapped up in her own life in San Francisco after Willow left that she just didn't bother. Faith knew there had to have been a lot more to it, but Willow never told her anything more than what she already knew about. She always thought Willow would be at Buffy's side right to the end, until Willow showed up in London, until Willow disappeared for a while and showed up in Cleveland looking for a place to stay. Willow could've chosen to go back to San Francisco, go back to Buffy and the others, but for whatever reason, she'd decided to come to her, of all people.

"What happened with you guys?" Faith asked, needing to hear Buffy's side of things just so she could finally understand.

"I was angry at her for leaving, for going to London to help you and Angel. After she disappeared, that anger was still there and when she ended up in Cleveland and she called Dawn, I was still angry at her, but I couldn't even remember why. I thought she'd come back home, to us, not you."

"I'm thinking you two need to work things out."

"I know. I'm just-I don't know what to say to her."

"Could start out by apologizing for being such a bitch."

"Gee thanks, Faith, for saying it a lot nicer than she did."

Faith smirked, remembering that day Willow had talked to Buffy and called her some pretty nasty names. Even she couldn't believe Willow had been capable of saying something like that to someone who used to be her best friend.

"Everything is so different now," Buffy mused. "So much has happened, so much has changed. Not just recently, but over the years. Do you want to know why I never told anyone when I had my power stripped from me? It wasn't just because I was afraid. I was relieved. I thought maybe I could finally have a normal life, but knew that would never happen. Slayer or not, every demon and vampire out there know who I am, or will find out who I used to be and I would be forever looking behind my back, wondering if that day would be the last day of my life because I wouldn't be able to fight back if they attacked."

"You don't want to be a slayer anymore?"

"That's the thing, I thought I didn't want to be, but coming here, hiding out in this place with everyone else, I realized something. If I'm not a slayer, then who am I, really?"

Faith nodded in understanding, knowing exactly what she was getting at. She'd thought the same thing too, plenty of times, and she never got the answer she kept expecting to follow that question.

Their conversation had taken a sudden turn, but she knew it was far from over yet. Strangely, even when things had been feeling overwhelming and intense, deep down she felt comfortable talking to Buffy like that, opening up to her and just letting it out instead of trying to run away from having that conversation in the first place.

Nothing had ever gone right in her life, or if it did, she always thought something would happen that would change that. It wasn't because she thought the world was out to get her, it was just the way it was. What Buffy wanted with her, she still wasn't sure, but she was now wondering if it'd be a mistake not to give in and see where things went. Whether they ended badly or good, she wouldn't know if she didn't take that chance and she knew one way or another, she'd regret it down the line.

"I'll let you in, B," she whispered, unsure if she said it or just thought it. "I'll stop fighting this, stop pushing you away and we'll just...see what happens. But-"

"I knew there was going to be a but," Buffy frowned. "But we have to focus on this situation, resolve it before we can really figure things out between us, don't we?"

"Got it in one. Now, let's get back downstairs where it's warm and get some sleep."

Buffy reluctantly agreed and followed Faith back downstairs. They didn't say another word, barely cast another look at one another as they settled down, Buffy on the couch by herself and Faith back sitting in the armchair.

Faith had a lot on her mind, but somehow she felt like maybe everything was going to be all right in the end. She just had to let it happen. Easier said than done.


	13. Chapter 13

**_Chapter Thirteen_**

(_Three days later..._)

Faith was bored out of her mind, something that wasn't new, but after the last three days of being snowed in, the power out until that morning, there was nothing to do and she couldn't even hop in her truck and take a drive around the property just to get out of the house for a little while. It'd given her far too much time to think about the conversation she and Buffy had the night the storm had hit. While they hadn't spent any time alone together since then, the way Buffy would look at her, catching her gaze from across the room was no longer lost on her.

Boredom had hit just about everyone too. Xander was growing antsy, needing something-anything to do. Nelly put him to work with Colin, fixing up some of the things around the house that needed fixing. It gave him something to focus his boredom on. Willow had been spending a lot of time with Dawn and Buffy, the three of them usually curled up on the couch in the den, talking quietly while they drank tea or coffee. Kennedy found a way to pass the time, playing cards with Wood, Angel and Andrew, Nelly occasionally joining in. Faith had played a few games with them, but after a few hours of that, it became too repetitive for her and she'd had enough.

Christmas was right around the corner, but she wasn't thinking about that. The fact that it was her birthday today and not one of them had remembered, not Angel, not Wood, and not even Willow, it really bothered her. She didn't know why since things like that never bothered her in the past, but it was different now. With all her emotions still running on high, it bothered her that the three people who meant something to her in her life had forgotten all about that one little day that belonged to her and her alone. It wasn't like this was the first time her birthday had been forgotten, it'd happened throughout her entire life, and the only birthdays she really celebrated was when she was with Giles and with Angel in London.

The den was unusually quiet that morning and with Colin gone to make a trip into town now that the roads had been cleared, everyone was waiting, anxious to see if the things they needed for the spell had finally been delivered to the local post office. Faith was more than ready to have this done and over with, to get her slayer essence back and to find Azri'el and kill him for putting her and all the others through this.

"We should start preparing," Nelly said, his voice breaking the heavy silence in the room. "Colin should be back any time now and I'm sure you are all very anxious to start this spell."

"I'm a little bit worried," Willow said, frowning as she looked across the room at Faith and then at the others. "It's a tricky spell and not entirely guaranteed to work."

"You'll be able to do it," Dawn said. "I know if anyone can do this, it's you."

"Other than that spell we did last week, I haven't done any magic since..." Willow trailed off, still frowning. "This spell is as tricky as it is dangerous. Once we locate the orb and teleport it here, there's no telling what else might come with it."

"So we prepare," Kennedy spoke up. "Nelly, you've got plenty of weapons, don't you?" She asked and she didn't wait for him to answer. "We have Angel and it's not like we can't fight. We might not be strong as we once were, but put us all together and I'm sure that if it comes down to it, if something comes with the orb, we'll be ready to take it down."

"I'm down for a fight," Faith said and she stood from her chair, cracking her knuckles. "When you're ready to do the spell, come get me. I'm gonna go for a walk."

"Faith-"

"Save it, Wil. We've been cooped up in this place and just sitting here watching the minutes pass is driving me nuts. I'm going for a walk and when you're all ready to do this spell, come and find me if I ain't back yet."

Faith headed for the back door where she left her coat and boots. Slipping them on and zipping up her jacket, she walked out into the cold morning, snow crunching under her boots as she headed across the yard towards the gravel road.

* * *

"Is it just me or is she moodier than usual?" Willow asked and Dawn shrugged, not really caring much whether Faith was in a mood or not. "She seemed fine yesterday."

"Boredom," Angel said. "She's not one to sit still for so long without something to do. It's affecting all of us, but you know her as well as I do, Willow. You know it's affecting her far more than she's letting it show."

Willow frowned, concerned for Faith. She had been fine the day before, at least as fine as the entire situation would allow her to be. Her eyes flickered over to Buffy, wondering if something else had happened between them, but Willow knew that wasn't it. In fact they'd been perfectly fine around each other for the last couple of days since the storm hit, so it couldn't have been anything that Buffy said or did to put her in that mood.

"Maybe she's just miserable because we're stuck here and there's ten days until Christmas. Who knows if we'll even get to spend it at home," Dawn whined.

"Ten days until Christmas!" Willow yelped as she jumped up from the couch. "Oh Goddess, how could I have forgotten?"

"Forgotten what?" Buffy asked her curiously.

"It's Faith's birthday today. Oh, I'm such a horrible friend," Willow frowned. "I completely forgot about it! She's probably sulking because nobody remembered," she said, passing a knowing look towards Angel who was standing by the fireplace, a guilty look sliding in place as his eyes met Willow's.

"I didn't know it was her birthday," Buffy said quietly. "Did you know?" She asked Dawn, who just shook her head no. "We should make it up to her."

"How?" Dawn asked her. "It's not like we can go out partying or to a strip club or whatever it is Faith likes to do."

"None of those things," Willow replied. "I think she just wanted it to be acknowledged and she didn't even get a single, "Happy Birthday, Faith!" from any of us! We do have to make it up to her. There's no question about it."

"Uh guys?" Andrew spoke up from where he was sitting at the card table with Kennedy and Wood. "Don't you think doing this spell is a little bit more important than celebrating Faith's birthday? I mean, that is equally important, but..."

"It _is_ equally important," Willow stated and she looked around the room at the others. "Look, I know most of you don't care and I can't blame you for that, but Faith is my friend and the fact that I forgot it was her birthday makes me feel like I'm officially the worst best friend in the world right now."

"Is there no chance we could possibly swing a last minute surprise party, make it seem like we did remember even though we didn't?" Xander suggested and Willow shook her head no.

"That's a good idea," Angel said, but Willow shook her head no again. "No," Angel sighed, frowning. "She won't fall for something like that. She'll know it's just a cover up because the people who matter most to her forgot."

"Where are you going, Buffy?" Dawn asked and Willow looked over at her as she headed for the den. "Buffy?"

"I'm going to find her. She couldn't have gotten too far, right?"

Willow couldn't help but smile at her. She knew things were a complicated mess between Buffy and Faith, but they hadn't gotten into it since the storm had hit and Faith hadn't said a word about Buffy to her since. Maybe whatever was going on between them had passed and all Buffy was trying to do was do the right thing, like she always aimed to do.

It still didn't help that she felt like the worst friend in the world for forgetting. She'd had a lot on her mind, especially when it came to the spell they were going to try that could change everything and be the beginning of the end of what Azri'el had started. She was in no state now to even try the spell, not until she made it up to Faith for being on of the people in her life who shouldn't have forgotten, no matter what else was going on in their lives.

* * *

Faith stood about a hundred feet from the house, shivering and unable to walk any further in the deep snow. She had a cigarette dangling from her lips, both hands shoved into her jacket pockets and she was silently fuming. She couldn't shake it, that feeling like maybe she didn't matter that much to those she thought she did. They'd been so consumed in Azri'el and everything related to him, their days spent researching and when they weren't, their time was spent just trying to pass the hours without succumbing to the utter boredom they were all experiencing.

She didn't know why she was so upset over something as trivial as her friends forgetting her birthday. She never cared before. Ever. It was just another day, another blip on the radar, another sign that she'd made it through yet another year of her life without dying. What had changed, she wasn't sure, but she was ready to blame her emotions, the sensitivity she'd been feeling more than ever in the last month or so.

Pulling a hand out of her jacket, she pulled her cigarette from her lips and flicked it to the ground, watching as it sunk in the deep snow a few feet away from her. She could hear the snow crunching behind her and she sighed heavily, knowing she hadn't been out there that long and she hadn't heard or seen Colin come back from town yet. When she felt that warmth grown inside of her, she knew it was Buffy approaching her.

"Hey," Buffy said with a sweet smile as Faith turned around to face her. "Aren't you absolutely freezing out here?"

"Yeah."

"So, why don't you come back inside?"

"They ready to do that spell?" Faith asked and upon Buffy's head shake she too shook her head no. "Then I'm not gonna come back inside 'til they're ready. Kind of need some space right now, B, so if ya don't mind..."

Buffy took a few steps closer to her, shivering as she reached out and hesitantly wrapped her arms around Faith, hugging her. "Happy birthday, Faith."

"Huh?"

"It is your birthday, isn't it?" Buffy asked, looking into her eyes. "And everyone forgot, didn't they?"

"So what if they did?"

"I think you care that they did and that's why you're being moodier than normal."

"What?" Faith laughed softly, shaking her head as she wrapped her arms around Buffy when she gave her another tight squeeze. "Uh, thanks, B."

"I never knew your birthday was so close to Christmas."

"Never asked me before."

"How old are you exactly?"

"Twenty-seven as of today."

"You're older than me?" Buffy asked in surprise and they stepped out of the warm embrace, an awkward silence growing between them. "I always thought you were younger than me," Buffy said after a minute. "I guess that goes to show you just how much I knew about you, even back in Sunnydale before things went-got messy and out of hand."

"Only like a month older than you," Faith shrugged. "Even Diana was surprised I'd been called that old since most girls were called before fifteen."

"So," Buffy breathed out slowly and she moved until she was standing just inches in front of Faith. "How come you never mentioned your birthday was coming up?"

"Didn't seem like a high priority on the list. Not like it matters."

"Of course it matters and of course it's a high priority, Faith," Buffy said, smiling sweetly at her. "Xander was trying to come up with this inane plan to throw you a surprise party, making you think we didn't forget and poor Wil, she feels so bad that she forgot."

"It ain't that big of a deal."

"But it made you all moody and upset, so I'm guessing it is a bit of a big deal to you. There's no sense in hiding it or denying it, Faith. I can see it written all over your face."

"Whatever."

"Happy birthday, Faith."

"Ya said that once and once is-"

Buffy closed the distance between them and delivered a sweet and soft kiss to her lips that rendered her speechless. It'd been the first time they'd been alone since the night of the storm and the first time they'd kissed since that afternoon in the den when Buffy wouldn't leave her alone. Faith pulled her close and deepened the kiss, feeling the warmth coming from Buffy washing over her in waves and making her forget they were outside standing in the deep snow and that it was absolutely freezing.

Faith found it hard to deny that she loved the feeling of Buffy in her arms, loved the way she would kiss her, the way her tongue would flick across her bottom lip, demanding her to part her lips so she could deepen the kiss. She even loved the way that warm, delicious buzz intensified inside her body, like a strong shot of the strongest, smoothest whisky she'd ever had in her life.

Faith was the one who ended the sudden kiss first, pushing Buffy back gently just enough so she could slip out from Buffy's arms that had been wrapped around her. Licking over her lips, she ran a hand through her hair and exhaled sharply.

"Was that not okay?"

"Kissed ya back, didn't I?" Faith asked her.

"Yeah, but-"

"I'm still trying to wrap my head around what we talked about the other night. It's kind of something I'm gonna need some time to let it all sink in, you know?"

"Are you seeing someone else?"

"You're joking right? Been cooped up in this place for a-"

"Back in Cleveland," Buffy said with a shake of her head. "Are you seeing someone else back in Cleveland? You are, aren't you? Is that why you keep avoiding me?"

"No," Faith chuckled. "Not really much of the dating type. Haven't gone out with any guys for a little while. Nobody special or anything like that waiting for me back home. If there was, after the first time ya kissed me, I would've let it be known by telling ya straight up."

"Oh," Buffy said, her cheeks turning a soft pink. "Oh."

"Thanks for the birthday kiss, B," Faith said, winking at her playfully. "Definitely made up for it being forgotten in the first place. Why don't ya head back inside? Look like you're freezing to death out here."

"Is there any way I can talk you into coming back inside with me?"

"Gonna stay out here, have another smoke and get some fresh air."

"And you want to be alone?" Buffy asked, frowning as Faith nodded her head yes. "Oh. I was kind of hoping to give you another birthday kiss, maybe twenty-five more of them, you know, to make the grand total of twenty-seven which is how old you are now and oh god, somebody stop me."

Faith couldn't help but laugh at her babbling. She hadn't seen this side of Buffy before, not directed towards her anyway and the way her cheeks flushed pink again and she nervously bit her bottom lip, Faith found her completely and utterly adorable.

_Adorable? What's gotten into you, Lehane? Buffy is acting like...like what, I don't know, but it's totally out of character for her._

_Isn't it?_

_I don't even know anymore._

Laughing at the conversation going on inside her head, Faith started walking down the path, but the deep snow made it difficult and she wasn't even sure she was on the gravel path after a few heavy and hard steps. Just as she was about to turn around and head back, knowing she wouldn't get much further in the deep snow without exhausting herself, a snowball hit her in the back and she spun around, glaring at Buffy who was just standing there holding a second snowball in her bare hands.

"Bet that's cold," Faith said, grinning as she started to walk back towards her.

"Little bit."

"Bet you want to throw that one at me too, huh?"

"Just a little bit."

Laughing, Faith bend down and grabbed a handful of the snow, quickly balling it and she chucked it at Buffy before Buffy could even blink. Buffy growled playfully as she dropped her snowball and wiped the cold snow from her face.

"You realize you just declared war, right?"

"You think I'm afraid of little old you, B?"

"You will be."

"Bring it on then, princess."

With that, Buffy leapt at Faith, trying her best to tackle her down into the deep snow.

* * *

Willow watched with mild amusement the scene she was seeing between Buffy and Faith. She had started to go out after Buffy, not wanting to see Faith get hurt, her emotions thrown for a loop yet again, but she had stopped when she saw them kissing-a mutual kiss that made the atmosphere around the house inside crackle with energy.

Faith could handle this on her own, she knew that much. Whatever was going on between them, Faith had to figure out what it was she wanted to do about it and all Willow knew she could do was be that friend to her when she needed someone to talk to, when she needed a shoulder to cry on, the whole nine yards.

Watching the way the two interacted, it was like watching two children play in the snow for the first time. It was amusing, beyond that, and Willow laughed as she watched Faith grab the back of Buffy's jacket and shove a handful of snow down it. The sound of their laughter could be heard even from inside the kitchen at the back door where she was standing. She could feel the crackle of magic coming from their connection, different than when they'd been kissing, but it felt _good_ and it was strong too.

She wondered what it all meant and she'd kept what theories Nelly had discussed with her about what it could mean. They were the original Chosen, both sharing two halves of the same soul, or at least the part of their soul that was the slayer. Being stripped of their essence hadn't changed that part, the fact they were joined in ways nobody probably could never understand. Willow did believe in soul mates, she had found hers in Tara. But did she think that Faith and Buffy were soul mates? It was hard to tell, going on a string of theories that were starting to make more and more sense the more she thought about them.

A spell that was meant to be so very simple, nothing more than levitating Andrew, had turned into something so much more. It didn't work on Andrew, but it worked on Faith the first time and then both of them when they had tried it again. That spell had sparked something, not just in Faith, but in Buffy as well and she could just see it every time she looked at Buffy. It was something she had never seen in her former best friend before, that spark in her eyes, that glow she had about her when she was just in the same room as Faith.

Yet it was all so complicated. Faith was so conflicted with her feelings for Buffy, and for Buffy to be feeling the same way, unable to stop herself from seeking Faith out, it complicated things further, so much to the point where Willow wasn't sure if Faith could even deal with this-or the inevitable fallout that was likely to come.

"What are we looking at?" Dawn asked as she walked over to Willow and stood at her side. "Oh you're joking right? They're fighting? _Again_?"

"Not fighting," Willow replied quietly. "You don't feel that, Dawn?"

"Feel what?"

"The flow of magic in the air, caressing you all over like the warmth only a lover could bring to you."

"Oh barf," Dawn gagged. "No really, are they fighting again?"

"They really aren't."

"Really looks like it."

"Might want to take a closer look, Dawn," Willow said, not moving her eyes from the scene outside as Faith pulled Buffy to her feet. In an instant they had their arms around each other and we're kissing, soft and slow, completely immersed in each other.

"Oh my god!" Dawn shrieked and she reached for the door, Willow quickly stopping her. "What are you doing, Willow? Let go of me! Faith is out there molesting my sister and she's...she's letting her? What?"

Dawn slowly backed down, confusion and bewilderment settling over her formerly furious expression. "Why is she letting her do that?" Dawn asked. "She..."

"Loves her," Willow finished for her.

"It doesn't make any sense," Dawn said and she shook her head, choosing not to look back out the window at the two outside. "Okay, maybe it makes a tiny bit of sense, but what the hell? Was it that spell you guys did with the two of them? Something happened that you didn't know would happen right? Something happened to Buffy that made her be this way."

"The only thing that happened was they both kind of jumped out of the river of denial they've both been swimming in for who even knows how long."

Willow gently pulled Dawn away from the window, knowing it was rude to continue watching the two when they probably had no idea they were being watched. Willow was worried about Faith and whatever it was going on between her and Buffy. She worried that if things ended badly that it would tear her apart, but if that happened, Willow knew she'd be right at Faith's side, helping her through it all even if Faith continuously pushed her away.

All she could hope for now was that everything would fall into place in the end, that they'd find the orb, defeat Azri'el, and their lives would go back to the way they'd been before all of this had started.

* * *

Faith shivered as she reached down for Buffy's hand. She pulled her up and out of the snow and shivered again. She was cold and wet, definitely not a good combination and she needed to get into dry, warm clothes sooner rather than later.

"Oh my god," Buffy groaned as they headed back to the house together. "I'm frozen. I'm an icicle. A Buffy-sized icicle."

"Just remember who started it," Faith chuckled, winking at her as they reached the back door.

Shedding their boots and jackets, they quickly made their way up the stairs to their own bedrooms, leaving a trail of water droplets behind them. Faith hurried into her bedroom, stripping off her clothes the second she had the door shut behind her. Teeth chattering, she pulled on her heaviest pair of sweatpants and found her favorite hoodie, throwing it on and nothing else underneath. Gathering up her wet clothes, she hung them over the radiator near the window, still shivering and feeling like she'd never be warm again.

She laughed despite it all. The way Buffy had sought her out, gave her the sweetest, softest birthday kiss she'd ever received, it warmed her heart just a little bit thinking of how she'd felt so much in such a simple kiss. The snowball fight afterwards was just out of pure fun and it brought back a feeling of innocence, something she hadn't felt in a long time. Also brought a whole new meaning to being cold, but she no longer cared about that. She didn't really in the first place. She'd had fun and so did Buffy and it was just the thing they needed.

A soft knock rapped on her closed bedroom door before it opened slowly. Buffy stepped inside wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a sweat shirt that definitely didn't belong to her as it was at least three sizes too big.

"I feel like I'm never going to know what it's like to feel warm again," Buffy groaned as she shut the door behind her. "And it's all my fault."

"It was fun though, B. Can't deny that."

"No, definitely can't."

Faith stood where she was, unmoving as Buffy slowly made her way over to her. It felt natural for her to wrap her arms around Buffy as soon as she was close, it felt natural to capture her lips in a soft kiss that left her body humming. She felt happy too for the first time since this whole situation had started and it was something she was learning to embrace and not feel guilty about. Just because they were in a heavy situation didn't mean she couldn't feel a small amount of happiness, even if it did come in the form of Buffy.

"Mmm," Buffy sighed as she pulled back from Faith's lips. "What was that for?"

"Just wanted to. Besides," Faith grinned as she ran her hands down the length of Buffy's back, settling them on her lower back as she pulled her flush against her. "Someone said they wanted to give me twenty-five more of them."

"I'm thinking there's only twenty-four to go," Buffy replied, blushing slightly as she found herself caught under Faith's intense gaze. "And because Willow wants to do that spell later, I'm thinking we should get...started on that."

Faith chuckled and leaned in to kiss Buffy again. She let everything in her mind go and just found herself fully absorbed in the moment she and Buffy were having. She didn't think about how feeling the way she did about her was tearing her apart just days ago, she didn't think about how surreal it all was that Buffy had feelings for her and wanted her. She didn't think about what Willow said that when they were together, that the magical energy between them intensified tenfold. The only thing she was completely and fully focused on was Buffy and her suddenly wandering hands that were sliding up under the bottom of her hoodie and gliding along her skin.

Faith wasn't sure if it was her or if it was Buffy who led them over to the bed. It happened in one fluid motion, Buffy pulling Faith with her as she laid on the bed without breaking away from their heated kiss. Faith suddenly forgot just how cold she'd been minutes ago, a rush of pleasure and heat rushed through her body as Buffy slipped a leg between hers and pulled her hips down against her.

"Thought we were just kissing?" Faith whispered against Buffy's lips.

"We are."

Chuckling, Faith pulled back just enough to look into Buffy's eyes. She didn't want a repeat of what happened the first time Buffy kissed her. It had been so intense that she couldn't handle it or even control herself. It was different now, much different and Faith couldn't figure out why, she just knew it was. Everything about this moment between them felt entirely different than it had before. Whatever would end up happening between them would just happen and she would be powerless to stop it. She didn't want to stop it, whatever it ended up being.

"Do you not want to be doing this?" Buffy asked, her voice so quiet that Faith barely heard her. "Because we can do this not on the bed if that's what-"

Faith stopped her, kissing her hard as she rocked her hips, Buffy's thigh creating delicious friction between her legs. Buffy arched up into her, deepening the kiss as her hands went to the back of Faith's head to keep her right where she was. Using one hand to keep her from settling her body completely on top of Buffy, she used the other, trailing her hand over Buffy's side and slipping her fingers under the hem of her oversized sweatshirt.

Losing herself in the kiss and the feel of Buffy's body under her own, she moaned and kissed her harder, deeper, letting herself give in completely.

Taking the lead, unable to hold herself back, she moved her hand higher up Buffy's stomach, going slowly as she neared her breasts. Buffy placed a hand over hers and pushed it further, encouraging her to touch her. Buffy moaned into her mouth as she rolled a hardening nipple between her fingers. It created a whole new wave of pleasure that filled her completely and she could feel the energy in the room and between them increase even more.

"It's getting a bit warm," Buffy said softly, her lips barely leaving Faith's.

"How about we lose the clothes then?"

"Faith-"

"It's what you want, isn't it, Buffy?"

"Is it what _you_ want?" Buffy asked her, her hands moving to gently cup Faith's face.

Faith licked over her lips, the words suddenly disappearing, her mouth suddenly dry. She nodded her head, smiling down at Buffy before capturing her lips in another intensely passionate kiss. Buffy moved a hand to the zipper of her hoodie and began to slide it down. Faith parted from her lips, sitting up and straddled Buffy's hips as she continued to slowly drag the zipper down. Faith couldn't take her eyes off of Buffy, watching her as she pushed open the hoodie, revealing her bare skin and braless breasts under it.

Pulling Buffy up so she was sitting too, she made quick work of getting her out of her oversized sweatshirt. Faith dipped her head down and kissed her again, moaning as Buffy's hands wandered over her back, her stomach and gently cupped her breasts, thumbs instantly circling over her hard nipples. Moaning as Buffy's arms circled around her, they fell back on to the bed, hands roaming in a rush of desire. Faith was so consumed by the feel of Buffy, by the way Buffy was kissing her so deeply, she was caught off guard as Buffy flipped them and ended up on top. Pushing her back, Faith stared up at her, not knowing what to say, what to do.

"Let me," Buffy whispered. "Let me love you."

"B-"

Buffy placed a finger over her lips and smiled sweetly. She moved her lips to Faith's neck, kissing her softly, sucking and biting over her pulse point before moving down, trailing featherlight kisses over Faith's collarbone and down across her breasts, purposely missing her hard nipples that were aching for attention. Faith arched up, moaning as Buffy lightly licked over her left nipple, her fingers circling the other.

Faith moaned, arching even further into Buffy as she wrapped her lips around her hard nipple. Buffy wasted no time moving to the other, teasing her before she trailed her tongue down the middle of her stomach, dipping it in to her bellybutton while she looked up at her, eyes locked in the most intense gaze they had so far shared between them. Faith gripped the bedspread, unsure what to do with her hands as she watched Buffy trail her fingers over the edges of her sweatpants before gently tugging the drawstring undone.

Lifting up, she didn't break eye-contact as Buffy slid her pants down slowly before taking them off and tossing them to the floor behind her. Faith could feel her heart pounding hard and fast in her chest as she watched Buffy stand and slip out of her own pants. Faith reached out for her hands and pulled her back down on top of her, both moaning as their naked bodies lay flush together. No longer wanting or willing to be the bottom, Faith hooked a leg over Buffy's and rolled them over, her lips capturing Buffy's once again in a heated kiss.

"Fuck," Faith murmured against Buffy's lips as Buffy spread her legs for her. Buffy felt so good beneath her and she rolled her hips, feeling Buffy's pussy, hot and wet against her own.

"Faith," Buffy whimpered as Faith rolled her hips again. Buffy's hands roamed over her back and she gripped her hips, encouraging her to keep moving. "Oh god."

Letting the waves of pleasure guide her, Faith crushed her lips against Buffy's, their bodies moving together, hands roaming, clutching, grasping.

* * *

Willow sucked in a deep breath, the magical energy flowing through the house was far beyond intense. She could feel the power trickle inside of her, consuming her. It felt familiar and warm and she felt like herself again even if just a little bit. It was just her and Nelly in the dining room, setting up for the spell while Colin enlisted the help of Andrew and Xander in bringing the supplies in he'd picked up in town. It was now or never to do the spell and she had no idea how long of a window they had, not with knowing how unpredictable Faith and Buffy were in their brief encounters with each other.

Yet she knew that there was something far more intense going on upstairs than them just sharing another kiss. She blushed at the thought of what they were doing, trying desperately to clear those images from her head.

"It's strong," Nelly said as he lit each candle that sat on top of the table. "Strongest it's ever been."

"Yeah."

"We might not have much time."

"No, we might not."

"Colin!" Nelly yelled out. "Hurry up, would you, boy? We need to get started as soon as possible. Enough of your diddlydaddling!"

Colin brought in the last of the boxes, hurriedly opening them and placing the objects on the table. One by one the others came in, Kennedy and Angel carrying enough weapons for all of them just in case something did come back with the box the orb was kept in.

"Where are they?" Dawn asked, grabbing one of the short broadswords from Kennedy and examining it. "Shouldn't they be here for this spell?"

"They're otherwise preoccupied," Nelly said, chuckling when Dawn looked at Willow for a better explanation. "You can't feel that, girl? Their connection, the magical energy flowing from it? It's stronger than it's ever been between them."

"How? What would make it stronger? What are they...oh," Dawn said, flustered as her cheeks turned red. "Oh my god. Does that mean they are...? Right now...? Oh my god, gross!"

"Let's get started," Nelly said, ignoring the looks of everyone in the room, a mix between curious, shocked, bewilderment and in Dawn's case, disturbed. "Willow, if you'll hand the book to Andrew, he'll start to recite from the first passage."

Willow readied herself, holding the gold bowl full of blood over the larger bowl with the rest of the ingredients. She started reciting the passage along with Andrew, slowly pouring the blood into the larger bowl, watching as small wisps of smoke began to rise. She closed her eyes, the flow of magic coursing through her a feeling she thought she'd never feel again after Buffy had destroyed the Seed. She tried to keep her focus on the words, the spell itself and not what was making this whole thing possible.

As the smoke continued to rise, thunder shook the house, thunder not from outside, but from inside the room. Willow finished pouring the blood and shakily placed the bowl on the table, her eyes still shut as she could see a soft blue light surrounded by darkness.

"Bring forth the orb," Nelly said to her. "With the power of your mind, your will, bring it forth and let it manifest before us."

Willow clenched her fists at her side, silently chanting the spell in her head as she used her mind, her will to bring the orb to them from wherever it was. Another crack of thunder rushed through the room, the flame on each candle crackling as Willow gasped, her eyes opening wide as a bright light filled the dining room.

As the light faded, Willow's heart was racing and she could feel the power inside of her flowing freely, feeling as if it had never left. When the light had faded completely, she looked down at the table and in the circle of candles there lay a small wooden box, small curls of smoke rising from around it.

"Did it work?" Andrew whispered once he was finished reciting from the passage. He closed the book and looked at Willow. "Is that it?"

"It's a box," Willow whispered. "The orb is believed to be in a box."

"So this is it?" Kennedy asked, her axe at the ready. "Did anyone see anything come with it?"

"We were all kind of blinded for a minute there, Kennedy," Xander said and he shook his head no. "I didn't see anything."

Willow hesitantly reached into the circle of candle's for the box, gently touching it, not sure what to expect at first. It was warm and she picked it up carefully, it feeling almost weightless in her hands as she brought it closer to examine it. Finding no way to open it, she frowned and placed it down on the table in front of her.

"What do we do now?" Dawn asked. "Do we open it? Do we break it?"

"Can I break it?" Kennedy asked, grinning as she gripped the axe tighter. "Willow?"

"There's just one more thing we have to do," Willow said softly. "We need to find a way to harness this energy we're feeling right now, that we just tapped into to bring this here. Nelly?"

"It's risky."

"I know, but it's a risk I'm willing to take."

"Willow-"

"It won't kill them, Dawn," she said as she placed a hand on Dawn's shoulder.

"How do you know that?"

"I just do."

She couldn't explain it, not even to herself, but that overwhelming feeling of knowing she could do this, that she could recreate the Seed and capture that energy that flowed between Faith and Buffy's connection, wasn't something that she could deny. She knew there was a risk, but deep down she had that feeling that it wouldn't harm any of them in any way or form.

With a deep breath, Willow closed her eyes, murmuring the words to an old conjuring spell she knew, going on a leap of faith that it would work now that the flow of magic was still as strong as ever. Holding out her hands, she felt the burn flow through her fingertips and then the weight of the glass egg as it settled in her hands.

"Is that-"

"Shut up, Xander," Dawn snapped, all of them watching in awe as Willow precariously balanced the glass egg, just slightly smaller than her head, in one hand while using the other to hover over it.

There were no words, just thoughts, her will willing to be done as she controlled the flow of magical energy into the glass egg. The seconds trickled by slowly and everyone in the room was quiet, watching as the egg began to bring on a light, a soft yellow glow that began to burn brighter than the candle's flames.

Willow could feel herself draining as she controlled all that she could of the magical energy into the egg. Placing it down on the table, she let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and stepped back, watching with the others in awe as the egg began to levitate just a few inches above the table.

"You-you did it," Nelly stammered. "You really did it."

Willow smiled weakly, the room beginning to spin. The last thing she saw before she lost consciousness was the glow of magic inside the egg, feeling it grow and become stronger, flowing through her like a freight train.


	14. Chapter 14 & Epilogue

**_Chapter Fourteen_**

Faith stood in the doorway to the dining room, her eyes wandering over to Buffy as she moved to sit down next to Dawn. Just looking at her stirred something up inside of her, a warmth that embraced her. They had spent hours in her room together, hours making love, fucking, just holding each other. Faith hadn't wanted it all to end, but it had been Willow who knocked tentatively on her door about an hour ago, putting an end to things between them.

Faith didn't know what to expect their first time together to be like, but it definitely went beyond anything she ever imagined it'd be. It'd been one of the most intense experiences of her life and just looking at Buffy, seeing her smile sweetly at her from across the room, she was happy she let herself go, gave in to the feeling, that pull and let it happen between them.

When they had come down to the dining room, saw the small box on the table and the floating, glowing egg, neither of them had any idea what to think about what they were seeing. Willow talked to them, told them what had happened when she did the spell and how she'd tapped into the magical energy that was flowing between them. Buffy blushed the entire time and Faith just listened intently. Willow explained how she controlled and forced the energy between their connection into the egg and asked if they had felt it when it happened. They hadn't and even if something did happen when Willow created the new Seed, Faith and Buffy were otherwise too consumed in each other to notice.

"So," Willow started as Kennedy was the last to join them in the dining room. "Now it's time to come up with a plan."

"How about we figure out how to open that box?" Kennedy said as she pointed to it. "The orb is in there, isn't it?"

"It should be," Willow replied. "But we don't know how to open it. I've tried everything and breaking it doesn't seem like it works."

"It has a barrier," Nelly continued for her. "Albeit a strong one, but this barrier requires some kind of key to open it."

"A key?" Buffy asked. "What kind of a key? Like an actual key or the kind of key that Dawnie used to be?"

"I'll be able to figure it out as soon as the essence of magic grows," Willow said and she smiled over at Faith. "I can already feel the power growing inside of me. I never thought I'd feel it again."

"Wil, are you sure it's safe?" Faith asked her and she nodded. "How do you know that?"

"I just _feel_ it."

Faith nodded in understanding. She felt it too, whatever it was, and it was only getting stronger. She'd sensed the change in Willow right away, she could just see it in her eyes that she had power inside of her again. Even though over the years Willow had become completely in control of the power she held inside her, Faith was worried she'd slip the way she had after Tara was killed.

Faith wasn't the only one that was worried. It was painted all over Buffy, Xander and Dawn's faces. Kennedy even looked concerned and a little bit worried as well. Nelly and Colin, they knew what Willow had been through, she'd told them, but they didn't seem to understand just how bad it had been. Even Faith couldn't fully understand, she hadn't been there and only heard the stories first from Giles and then when Willow told her shortly after she'd shown up in Cleveland.

Walking over to the table, Faith picked up the box and examined it. It was small, no bigger than a Rubik's cube and it was feather-light, completely weightless. She could feel something else too when she held it, she could feel power-a lot of it and it make her skin prickle, the hair on her arms stand up as she rubbed her fingers over the smooth wood.

"Faith?" Willow said softly. "What is it?"

"I feel something," she replied.

"What do you feel?"

"Don't know, feels powerful though."

"You can feel the power inside of it?" Nelly asked and Faith just nodded. He motioned for Buffy to join her and she did, not even hesitating for a moment. "Touch the box together," he commanded, motioning for Buffy to do as he said. "Do you feel it as well?"

Buffy nodded, letting out a soft sigh as she stroked her fingers over Faith's as they held the box together. Faith looked down at their hands and they were glowing. She could feel what she could only best describe as a static charge suddenly surge through her fingertips. Buffy felt it too and they both let go of the box together, it falling to the floor slowly, as if the fall itself had been suspended in time.

"Now this is very interesting," Nelly said, his normally loud, booming voice a hushed whisper.

Buffy grabbed on to Faith's hand as they took a step back, watching as the box slowly came to rest on the floor. One by one, each side of the box opened until each panel disappeared completely. Faith frowned, seeing nothing was inside the box and she opened her mouth, about to say something when the tiniest of light began to form where the box once sat.

Slowly the orb began to take place, it no bigger than a marble. It glowed that same blue Faith had seen when Azri'el had shown it to her. Letting go of Buffy's hand, she bent down and picked it up carefully, unsure of what would happen when she touched it. She could feel the power, much more strongly now that she held the orb in her hand. Turning to look at Willow, she placed it in her hand slowly.

"It's beautiful," Willow whispered. "It's also very powerful."

"Are we going to do the spell right now?" Kennedy asked impatiently.

"Give her a moment," Nelly said calmly. "The power that is contained in that orb is very, very strong. It could be very overwhelming if she rushes this, now have some patience, girl."

"It's all happening so fast, falling into place," Willow whispered, staring intensely down at the orb in her hand. "And we don't have very much time. Opening that box has destroyed the barrier that is around the house. Azri'el can find us at any moment. We need to do the spell to release the slayer essence inside now."

"Will it just go back into all those that it was taken from?" Buffy asked her and Willow looked at her, a hint of unsureness washed over her otherwise calm features. "You don't know?"

"I'm hoping that it will."

Buffy took Faith's hand in hers again, intertwining their fingers as they watched Willow place the orb on the table beside the Seed. She murmured a few words in a language Faith had never heard before and the orb began to spin slowly, gaining speed every time it went around full circle. Small wisps of smoke began to uncurl from the orb, moving slowly through the air. Faith felt Buffy squeeze her hand harder as hundreds of small lines of smoke formed into only two.

The force of which it hit nearly knocked them both off their feet. Dazed, Faith shakily ran her hands over her chest where the smoke had blast into her. The orb had stopped spinning, the light inside of it no longer there. It lay broken in half on the table.

"What the hell just happened?" Kennedy said, breaking the heavy silence in the room.

Buffy stumbled forward first, grasping at her chest. Faith felt it too, that very same feeling she had felt when she had first been Called, but it was far stronger than it had been that first time and it consumed her completely, very much in the same way that she had felt when she had been with Buffy.

"Faith?" Willow said softly as she placed a hand on her shoulder. "Faith, are you okay?"

"Damn," she groaned as she clutched at her chest. "That's something else."

"What's happening?"

"I feel it, Wil," she replied softly. "I feel the slayer inside of me again, but it's much stronger than it was before."

She looked around the room, hyperaware of everything in it, every little sound, every little bit of movement. It was like she could see more than just what was there and it was overwhelming. It was like looking at the world with a different set of eyes, hearing the world with a different set of ears.

"Buffy, are you okay?" Dawn rushed over to Buffy's side and she wrapped her arms around her. "Buffy, are you okay? Say something, anything!"

"It's there," she said in amazement and she caught Faith's wandering gaze. "I feel you completely, Faith."

"What the hell just happened?" Kennedy demanded to know and she was angrier than Faith had ever seen her before. "What's going on? I thought releasing the slayer essence meant it would go back to those it had been taken from? I don't feel anything!"

"Hey," Angel said as he walked over to Faith. "Why don't you give me your best shot?"

"You sure about that, big guy?"

"Give me all that you got."

Faith grinned and stepped away from Willow. Cracking her knuckles, she readied herself. The last time she had hit Angel it felt like he'd been made out of stone and it had hurt her far more than it even hurt him. She caught Buffy watching her and she pulled back, her fist hurling through the air and hitting Angel square in the jaw. She had to blink as she watched him sail backwards and hit the wall, the plaster cracking up to the ceiling.

"Damn."

"Angel, are you all right?" Willow asked, going to his side to help him to his feet. He stood, dizzily and rubbed his jaw.

"That was some punch, Faith."

"Thanks. You asked for it."

"You were never that strong before," Angel mused. "Nelly, I'm curious to hear your theories on what has just happened here."

"Isn't it obvious?" Kennedy yelled and she dropped her axe to the ground. "They got their slayer essence back, I didn't. They didn't get back what was theirs, they got back what belonged to the rest of us!"

Buffy, who had been strangely calm and quiet during Faith's show of strength in that single punch she delivered to Angel, stepped forward, placing her in the center of the group that had gathered around in an awkward circle.

"You're right, Kennedy," Buffy said, looking straight at her. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're right. We're stronger than we've ever been before and even during the whole Twilight mess, when I had that extra power, it doesn't even come close to what I feel right now."

Faith stepped back away from the others, unsure of how she felt about this newfound power and the lack of reasons or answers behind it. Nelly moved out of the dining room quickly, Andrew and Colin right behind him. The others began to follow, leaving Buffy and Faith alone in the dining room. Faith sighed as she leaned against the table, frowning as she ran her hands through her hair.

"What the hell just happened?" Faith asked her. "How is this-how could this have happened, B? Why'd we get stuck with all of it?"

"Maybe because we are the last two that were called the old way?" Buffy suggested. "I don't know why, Faith, but I'm sure the others will stop at nothing to try to figure this whole thing out."

Buffy reached out and placed her hands on Faith's shoulders. The smallest contact had their connection open completely and it was far more intense than it had been before. Faith shrugged her hands away and tried to put some space between them.

"Don't," she said when Buffy reached out for her again. "It's just too much right now, B."

"Are you-"

"I'm not pushing you away, not after..." Faith trailed off, a sly smile curling over her lips as she could feel the ghostly touches, kisses and everything else from before wash over her in waves. "Just feeling a little bit overwhelmed, B, that's all."

"Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe it."

"You're telling me."

"I can't believe she did it," Buffy said, turning her attention to the brand new Seed still hovering a few inches above the table. "She really did it."

Faith was amazed and the feeling of being so proud of Willow made her smile. She knew Willow would find a way, she knew she'd be able to do this even if she had those lingering moments of doubt. Everything about that day had changed the future and Faith had a feeling that it wouldn't feel real, wouldn't really sink in until they were finished with Azri'el and had killed him, putting a stop to his plan of eliminating the world of the one thing that kept the balance, vampire slayers.

The new Seed of Wonder would change life, return some aspects to the world as it had once been and it would create something new, something bigger than any of them could imagine. The world would always be changing, always adapting to the change better than most species that called it home. There would be a new balance once they eliminated Azri'el, one that would fall upon only her and Buffy's shoulders to keep it in place and not hundreds of other girls spread out throughout the world.

Faith didn't know how she knew, but she just did. It was like that feeling inside of her that told her that things could only get better from there, that no more heroes would have to fall ever again, that no more innocents would suffer at the hands of Azri'el for another day.

She also didn't know how she knew, but she knew he was nearby, not quite there but on his way to them. His power was limited, but not stripped completely and he was furious-beyond furious and Faith could just _feel_ it. It didn't sit well with her, the fact that she could feel this demon like that. It just made her more than ready to get this done and over with.

"We need weapons," Faith said and she grabbed the axe that Kennedy had dropped earlier. "We need a lot more than what they brought in here before."

"Faith-"

"He's _coming_, Buffy, and he's fucking pissed off!"

"He's coming? When? Right now?"

"Right now!" Faith yelled at her and the house began to shake, pictures falling from the walls and the glass frames shattering at they hit the floor.

Angel came running into the dining room, wielding a long sword, raised at the ready. "He's coming?" Angel asked over the roar that surrounded the house. "Be ready for anything," Angel said to both of them. "I'll protect the Seed if he decides to come for it. Willow will try to block him from using magic, but there's no guarantee that it's going to work."

Faith and Buffy stood back to back in the middle of the dining room. Angel stood facing them, protecting the Seed from one side. Faith whipped her head around at the sound of crackling cutting through the air and she watched as Azri'el slowly appeared just a few feet to her left, right near the doorway. He appeared in his true form, his demon form and she could feel how scared Buffy was at the sight of him.

"Now's not the time to be afraid," Faith whispered.

"I-"

"Well," Azri'el growled, the human-like voice coming out of a demon of his size strange and obscure. "This I wasn't expecting."

"What were you expecting?" Faith asked him, standing firm, her confidence growing as Azri'el stood unmoving from where he had appeared in the room just moments ago. "Were you expecting us to fail? Cos I got to tell you, you made a pretty big mistake on your part. You failed, big time."

"I will kill you last after I force you to watch me kill everyone, Buffy will be the last of them," he chuckled sinisterly as he took a step forward, the air around him shimmering as he assumed the form he'd been before, the man that had fooled Buffy and used her as a pawn in her game. "Dear sweet, gullible Buffy, how does it feel to know that I'll be the one that kills you and makes your current lover watch as I do, rendered completely helpless and unable to save you?"

Faith gripped the axe tightly, but loosened her grip when she felt the wood start to splinter under her strong grip. Azri'el glanced at her before looking back at Buffy, winking as he reached out and grabbed Angel by the throat.

"You're still alive, vampire?" Azri'el growled, not even struggling as Angel tried to free himself from his grip. "You've become a very serious problem, do you know that?"

"Fuck you," Angel growled and he tried to gain leverage, swinging his body around to deliver a hard kick to the side of Azri'el's head.

Faith, waiting for the perfect opening, grabbed on to Buffy before she had a chance to launch herself at Azri'el. She shook her head no and motioned for her to follow her. Azri'el, too distracted in trying to kill Angel, didn't notice the two slayers as they slipped behind his back, keeping themselves out of immediate reach.

"You're a vampire that has nine lives, aren't you?" Azri'el chuckled, spitting out a mouthful of blood after Angel kicked him again. "How many lives have you gone through already? I'm guessing eight of them, am I right?"

"Faith, he's going to kill Angel," Buffy whispered and she gripped on to Faith's arm. "We need to stop him now before he kills him."

"Angel won't go that easily. We need another minute," she replied quietly. "Willow is almost done the spell."

"What? How do you know?"

"You mean you can't feel it?"

Buffy shook her head no. Faith shrugged and squeezed the hand that was on her shoulder and took it in her own. They could only watch and wait as Angel freed himself from Azri'el's hold and swung the sword at him, the tip of the blade slicing through the skin of his bare chest. Black ooze trickled out in place of blood and the smell quickly filled the air, making Faith's stomach churn at just how bad it smelled.

"Oh my god," Buffy gagged and she turned to the wall, losing the contents of her stomach.

"Come on, Wil, get it done," Faith said under her breath, knowing somehow Willow could hear her from wherever she was doing the spell. "Get it done _now_."

_It's done. Now kill him. You've only got a couple of minutes._

Faith yelled out as she launched herself at Azri'el before he could plunge a stake in Angel's chest, the wood already in but not far enough. She used the handle of the axe, pulling it tight on his throat. Azri'el growled and he spun around, slamming Faith against the wall in an attempt to dislodge her from him. She pulled on the axe harder until it broke in the middle. She dropped the broken weapon to the ground and shoved Azri'el away from her.

"Fight me, you bastard!" Faith yelled when he tried to run to where Buffy's was at Angel's side, pulling the partially logged stake out of his chest carefully. "Hey!"

"You're as bad as the vampire, a nuisance. I should've killed you like I killed the other girls. I could've done this with only one of you. I _should've_."

Chuckling, Faith spun around and kicked him in the chest, the force of it causing him to fling into the wall. Unlike when she'd punched Angel earlier, Azri'el broke clear through the wall and outside, landing hard in the snow.

"Come on, fight!" Faith yelled as she walked through the broken wall and grabbed him by his neck. "This is what you wanted, isn't it?"

Not giving the demon a chance to speak, she punched him hard, feeling the bones in his borrowed face break upon the impact. She narrowly ducked out of the way of his flying fist and used his momentum to fling him back inside. She didn't see Buffy or Angel where they'd just been moments ago, but she didn't have time to worry about either of them. One wrong move and Azri'el could kill her. She only had a few minutes to kill him and the seconds were ticking by too quickly.

He took every kick and every punch she delivered, retaliating and yet his own fists not connecting, always missing her by a fraction of a second. Faith was fast, faster than she'd ever been and she was quickly getting adjusted to her newfound power and abilities.

"I told you that you would lose this fight," Faith said, panting as she ducked another hard right hook. She spotted a sword on the floor by the table and as she ducked from another punch, she rolled, grabbing the sword before she was on her feet. "I told you that we would win. I'm going to kill you."

"Are you?" Azri'el chuckled, sounding a little too confident and sure of himself. Faith didn't like it and she knew she had less than a minute to work with before he'd be able to use magic again. "Have you wondered why it is you and Buffy share two halves of the same soul?"

"Sure, but I know we'll figure it out, one way or another."

"This was destined to happen just as you were both destined to fight me and die a death just moments apart from one another."

Faith rolled her eyes. "All for what? The greater evil? To tip the balance and allow the First to reenter this world and make it It's own? I don't think so."

Faith rose the sword above her head and brought it down, hard and fast, the sharp blade slicing through Azri'el, cutting him clean in half. Staggering back, she watched each half of his body fall to the floor, each half returning to his original form, the black ooze gathering around each half rapidly.

Panting, she covered her mouth and nose with her arm as the house shook violently. The Seed still where it was before was spinning, the light burning brighter than ever. She had to look away as the light burst from the Seed, pulling each half of Azri'el's body into the Seed itself. She gasped as the house stopped shaking and things grew eerily quiet and still. Blinking, she looked over at the Seed, it now just glowing a soft orange as it hovered above the table. She looked at the floor where Azri'el had fallen and not even the black ooze that had come from his body was there anymore.

"Huh," she grunted and dropped the sword to the floor. All that was quiet didn't last for long as two dozen vampires began to climb through the hole in the wall. "You've got to be shitting me?" Faith yelled and she grabbed the sword from the floor. "Buffy!"

Knowing she couldn't take on this many vampires alone, even with the strength and speed she had now, she had to find a way to get away from them until she had Buffy and Angel at her side to help her kill them all. She just narrowly made it out of the dining room and found Buffy already rushing towards her in the hallway.

"What is it?" Buffy asked frantically just as a few of the vampires came running out behind Faith. "How many are there?"

"Two dozen, give or take! Where the hell is Angel?"

"Fighting. There's more of them outside!"

Faith knew that wasn't good. They were under attack and it was clear to her now that the fight against Azri'el still wasn't over, not with his vampire followers there trying to kill them all. Dusk had barely fallen twenty minutes ago and Faith couldn't believe they were in the middle of a massive fight. Still, they were fighting against normal vampires, not zompires or anything else, but a pissed off vampire was always a challenge, even with two slayers fighting just one of them.

Using their knowledge of the house and the many rooms, the house almost a maze itself, they led the vampires through room after room, stopping only to kill the ones that got too close. Buffy's weapon of choice was a short broadsword she held in one hand and a sturdy, sharp stake in the other.

They split up at the top of the stairs, four vampires following Faith and only two following Buffy. She found herself cornered at the end of the hallway and that was exactly what she'd been hoping for. Smiling at the four vampires inching their way to her, she rose her sword, sliding through the neck of two with one hard strike.

"Think you two got what it takes to take me down?" Faith asked and she moved quickly, sword slicing through the air, meeting the one closest to her in the neck. "What about you?" Faith asked the last one standing and the only response she got was a low growl before the vamp turned and started to run. "Hey!"

Faith ran after the vampire, catching up to him before he reached the stairs, yet before she could decapitate him as she had done to the last three, Buffy's stake whizzed through the air and pierced the vamp's chest. Faith laughed as she lowered her sword, loving the rush she felt from slaying nearly a dozen vamps herself.

"Did you have any trouble with yours?"

"Nope, you?" Faith asked and Buffy shook her head no. "We should check out the rest of the situation. Angel might need a hand."

Buffy led the way downstairs and they headed out the back door in the kitchen. Outside Angel was struggling with one last vamp, the biggest of all the ones they'd just faced. Faith marched through the snow and the vamp dust that covered most of it and grabbed the vampire off of Angel. She threw the vampire with what felt like ease and she reached down for Angel's hand to help him to his feet.

"We're under attack," Angel said, gasping as he held his left side. "Don't know how much longer I can fight."

"We _were_ under attack," Faith said and she grabbed the stake she saw poking out from the inside of his jacket. She spun around as the vampire charged towards her and she shoved the stake into it's beefy chest, watching as the vampire's face twisted in pain and confusion before it turned to dust. "We cleared them out of the house."

"There were more than two dozen-"

"We ended it," Faith said, smiling as she put an arm around Angel and helped him to the house. "How badly are you hurt?"

"Couple of broken ribs," he winced. "Did you-did you kill him?"

"He's dead and gone, hopefully for good. Split him in half and the Seed uh, sucked up his body."

"Sucked up his body?" Angel asked, groaning loudly as Faith let go of him so he could sit down on a chair by the kitchen table. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I just said," Faith replied and she looked over at Buffy who was kneeling on the floor by an injured Dawn. "Yo, B? Is Dawn all right?"

"She took a pretty hard hit to the head. She's breathing, but unconscious. We need to find the others."

"Stay with her," Faith said and she gripped her sword tight. "I'll find them and any stragglers left behind."

Faith started to search through the house, room by room, first coming across Kennedy and a very scared Colin hiding in the den. After asking them about Andrew, she found him curled up inside one of the few closets in the den. She told them to join Buffy, Angel and Dawn in the kitchen while she found the rest.

Faith was determined to find Willow. She had to make sure she was okay and that nothing had happened to her. She wasn't sure she could live with herself if something had happened to Willow. She came across Nelly next, holed up in the sitting room by the front door, shotgun pointed at her when she kicked in the locked door. She forced him to the kitchen, the old man being stubborn about it. The only ones missing were Xander, Wood and Willow.

"Kennedy, you injured?" Faith asked her while giving her a once over, looking for any visible injuries. "No? Come with me."

"Faith-"

"Buffy, stay here with Dawn. She needs you right now," Faith said pointedly. "Come on, Ken, let's go find the rest."

"I saw Wood running after a couple of vamps that started running out of the house," Kennedy said. "He couldn't have gotten far."

"Shit, come on," Faith said, pulling Kennedy with her as they headed for the front door. Making a run for it, she glanced at the ground, seeing three sets of footsteps in the snow leading away from the house and to the line of trees near the side of the house. "Keep up, Kennedy!"

"Jesus, I'm _trying_ to, but not everyone is a slayer again here!"

"Stop being so fucking jealous and keep up!" Faith snapped at her, slowing down as she saw the footsteps show obvious signs of a struggle. Faintly she could see dust scattered and then only two sets of footsteps continuing towards the trees.

And then she could see the blood, a lot of it and her heard leapt to her throat as she slowed down. It was almost pitch black out there, but as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she could see more of what surrounded her. She knelt to the ground and touched the small pool of blood, it just as cold to the touch as the snow. Sighing in relief knowing it wasn't Wood who was bleeding, she followed the footsteps until there was only one set.

"Took you long enough," Wood rasped. He was leaning against a tree, clutching his left arm. "Barely managed to get the last one."

"You all right, Wood?"

"Been better."

"You're hurt?"

"Dislocated shoulder," he said, wincing as he walked over to her. "The others?"

"Xander and Willow are still missing. Kennedy, make sure Wood gets back into the house with the others. I'm going to keep looking."

"Xander is in the shed," Wood said, groaning as Kennedy slipped an arm around him to help keep him steady as they walked through the deep snow. "I didn't see Willow after she started the spell to block Azri'el from using magic. I'm not sure if anyone saw where she went running when the house began to shake."

"Thanks. Don't worry, I'll find her. You two get Xander and get inside, yeah?"

Faith started running back towards the house and she stopped by the front steps, breathing heavily. Where the hell was Willow? A quick round around the house showed hundreds of sets of footprints, all of them far too big to belong to Willow. Taking her chances, she headed back inside and continued her search through the house. The last room she checked was Willow's bedroom and she let out a relieved laugh when she found Willow sitting on her bed in the dark.

"Jesus, Wil, just about had a heart attack thinking something happened to ya," Faith said as she hit the light switch. "Wil?"

"I was right here."

"I checked before, you weren't here."

"You passed my room. Twice."

"Shit," Faith groaned, dropping her sword to the floor and she sat next to Willow on the bed. "Are you hurt?"

"No."

"What's up?"

"It's really over, isn't it?" Willow asked, looking a little bit dazed and out of it. "We really did it?"

"You did it, Wil."

"Huh."

Faith smiled and put an arm around her shoulders. "It's over, Wil. We survived it, you restored magic back in this world, contained it. We even survived one hell of a vampire attack and we're all alive. Some birthday today has been," she laughed.

"Huh."

"Come on, Wil, snap out of it, would ya? It's over, Azri'el is dead and gone, the vamps he brought along with him, all dust."

"Huh."

"Wil-"

"Guess that third one wasn't going to slide on by you," Willow chuckled softly. "I just can't believe we did it, Faith."

"We couldn't have done it without what you did, Wil. Now come on, let's get downstairs with the others. Dawn is hurt, hoping its not too serious, but she was unconscious when I left Buffy with her."

They joined the others in the kitchen, the atmosphere between them feeling heavy despite have a huge win on their side. Dawn was still unconscious and while Faith had been upstairs looking for Willow, the others decided she needed to get to a hospital as soon as possible. Between them all, Nelly, Colin and Andrew stayed behind, the others piled up in Wood's Escalade and in Faith's truck.

Faith had a lot on her mind, everything that had happened over the course of the day finally sinking in as she followed the Escalade into town, Willow seated beside her, quieter than she expected her to be.

In less than twelve hours she had given in to Buffy and everything she felt for her, she'd let herself go and allowed herself to be loved by Buffy. In less than twelve hours she'd learned what it felt like to be truly touched by someone who cared and loved her and it had been so very overwhelming. In less than twelve hours, Willow had used the magical energy that flowed between her and Buffy's very soul to retrieve the orb that Azri'el had used to drain every slayer of their essence and in turn, she used that very same energy that flowed through their soul, their connection, and harnessed it, controlled it and encased it to make a new Seed, to regenerate magic in the world. In less than twelve hours, she had killed Azri'el and survived a huge vampire attack on the house and she wasn't the only one who had survived the fight, they all did.

It was hard to believe her entire life-and not just hers, but all of their lives-had changed in less than twelve hours. After all they had gone through, after spending a month holed up there in Nelly's house, safe from the rest of the world, safe from Azri'el until the time was right, their entire lives were completely different than what they had been when they'd first arrived there.

Everything felt new, like she'd closed the door on everything that used to be her life and opened up another, one that held unlimited possibilities and hope that the world would change as well in time. She didn't know what tomorrow would bring, or the next day, but she couldn't wait to find out what would happen next.

* * *

Faith paced around the small waiting room at the local clinic, the roads still too treacherous to drive to the hospital in Fort Erie. The doctors at the clinic were quick to get Dawn into a room and checked her over, her only serious injury was the bump on the back of her head and the fact that she still lay unconscious. Her vitals were strong and the doctors had told them that they just needed to wait until she woke up. Until then, they were keeping her under a close watch, nurses checking on her every ten minutes.

Buffy hadn't left her side all night and the others had stayed there, leaving after a couple of hours, the events of the day wearing them out completely. Faith stayed behind, she wasn't sure why, but she knew she was doing it for Buffy. She felt like she needed to be there for her as much as she wanted to.

"Hey," Faith said as Buffy exited the room Dawn was in. "Anything?"

"Still the same."

"She'll be all right, B. She'll pull through. The doctors would've said if it was worse. No reason to lie, right?"

"I guess. What time is it?"

"Almost six."

"Did you sleep?" Buffy asked her and she shook her head no. "I tried, but I couldn't."

"Too wired?" Faith asked and Buffy nodded. "Me too," she said with a small smile. "Come on, why don't we go get something to eat and come back?"

"What if she-"

"If you don't want to leave, I'll go grab us something to eat and bring it back here, okay?"

"Okay."

Faith smiled and turned to walk towards the front doors of the clinic and found herself being stopped by Buffy. Smiling as she turned to face her, she wrapped her arms around her as Buffy did the same. She planted a soft, lingering kiss on Buffy's cheek before moving to deliver a sweet kiss on her lips. Keeping it brief, she stepped back, still smiling as she backed up to the doors, unable to take her eyes off of Buffy who looked like she would jump her if they were anywhere but the clinic.

_Fucking surreal having her look at me like that. Could definitely get used to that._

Leaving the clinic, Faith hopped in her truck and made the quick drive down to a small diner just down the street. She had to wait a few minutes before it was opened for the day, the old woman who was running the place looked surprised to have a customer so early in the morning. Faith was hungry, beyond starving and she knew that Buffy was too. Neither of them had eaten since yesterday morning. They _had_ been otherwise preoccupied for most of the day, after all.

Faith ordered enough food to feed six people and she waited while the cook got her order ready. The old woman offered her a free cup of coffee and placed a local newspaper on the counter for her to read while she waited. But she ignored the paper and sipped her coffee, her mind still going over the events that had unfolded, not just the day before, but over the course of the last month.

What would happen once Dawn woke up? Would they all go back to their respective homes, spend Christmas apart, or would they return to Nelly's house and spend the next couple of weeks there and celebrate Christmas together? It wasn't like Faith and Willow were a part of their little family, but things had changed so much she didn't know if that was still the case anymore. And after, if they did spend the next few weeks at Nelly's, what would happen then? Would she go back to Cleveland with Willow and Wood, maybe even Angel, or would she follow Buffy back to San Francisco and start a whole new chapter of her life there with her?

Whatever would end up happening, she knew that somewhere along the way, she'd have to make one of the hardest decisions in her life. The fact was, she just wasn't so sure she was ready to make any life changing decisions yet.

* * *

**_Epilogue_**

(_Six Months Later..._)

Faith stood on the balcony of her apartment, watching the sun as it rose over the city of Cleveland. Summer was nearly there, the warmth each day and night brought reminded her just how much time had passed. After everything that had happened at Nelly's in Crystal Beach, after Dawn had woken up nearly two days after falling unconscious, the time for decisions had came. It fell upon them as a group, they all deciding to stay there with Nelly and Colin for Christmas and head back home a few days later.

The goodbyes had been bittersweet to say the least, Faith having made the decision to return to Cleveland, declining Buffy's offer for her to join her in San Francisco. She knew she'd made the right choice in the end. She wasn't ready to uproot her life yet again and to pursue a relationship with Buffy. It was something they both wanted, but in the end agreed to let it happen over time. They'd already jumped head first into it and they needed time and space apart before coming back together.

Willow had made a surprising choice, one that Faith knew she should've seen coming before the words even left her mouth. With magic back in the world and growing stronger every day, Willow decided to join the coven in Dover, traveling to London with Angel when he left. She needed to be with the women of the coven, they needed to be together, to regain their power and to find a way to protect the new Seed from ever being destroyed again. There were long phone calls a few times a week and Faith looked forward to them all the time, loving to hear how happy Willow was over there with the coven and learning of all the things they were doing, accomplishing together.

There had been a few visits over the last six months, mostly with her flying out to London to visit Angel. Willow would come to London when she was there and they'd spend a few days just hanging out, enjoying the time they had together. But back in Cleveland, it felt weird coming home to an empty apartment after having lived with Willow for a while. She was used to coming home, to having someone to talk to, joke around with, just having someone there in general.

A few months ago, Faith called Buffy for the first time since they'd said their goodbyes a few days after Christmas. To hear her voice again after months having gone by, it stirred something inside of her, something she couldn't shut out anymore. It brought everything right back up to the surface, but it was different that time. She didn't try to push it away, bury it inside of her. She embraced it. A few times a week after that four hour long phone call, they'd call each other and talk for hours. A few times a week turned into an every day thing and it got to the point where Faith scheduled her entire day around that sometimes two hour long phone call.

And it was different now, everything was different now. She knew her life was going to change after Azri'el was dead and magic had been restored and she and Buffy gained their slayer essence back, ten times over. She just didn't think it'd turn out to be the way it was now.

Warm, strong arms embraced her from behind and she smiled, turning to face Buffy. She was there, just visiting, but she'd been there for three weeks, going on nearly a month. Faith wasn't sure if she ever planned on leaving, not with the amount of clothes she'd brought with her and the amount that she'd bought while she'd been there. It wasn't like she was complaining, but they hadn't talked about Buffy staying, the initial visit only supposed to have been a week. She knew they had to talk about it, yet any time she tried to bring it up, Buffy found ways to distract her or avoid talking about it completely.

"Good morning," Buffy smiled as Faith leaned in to kiss her.

"Morning, B. What you doing up so early?"

"I heard you get up," she replied softly, her arms still wrapped around Faith in a warm embrace. "I couldn't fall back asleep."

"Sorry."

"Don't be."

"B?" Faith asked and Buffy leaned back in her arms to look into her eyes. "We gotta talk."

"Talk?" Buffy whispered, frowning as she let go of Faith. "About what? About us?"

"Yeah, about us, B."

"Did I do something wrong?" Buffy asked, still frowning as she moved to sit down in one of the chairs at the small table that was out on the balcony. "I thought everything was going great between us."

"Things are going good, B, and no, you didn't do anything wrong. It's just that I thought this was just a visit?"

"It is-"

"And you've been here for almost a month," Faith continued. "Not that I'm complaining. Growing used to having you around all the time. I'm actually surprised how well we're getting along, how good it is between us. It feels like we don't even gotta try, we just gotta let it be and it's something I never had before, you know?"

"Faith-"

"You know I'm in love with you, right?" Faith said and Buffy nodded her head slowly. "You know that I love having you around, love having you in my bed, love having you by my side patrolling every night, but what about your life in San Francisco, B? Don't you want to go back to that? I'm sure Dawn, Xander and Kennedy miss having you around."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"No," Faith chuckled softly and she pulled the other chair close to Buffy and sat down. "That's not what I'm getting at here at all, B. I'm just wondering if this is not a visit anymore?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you've gotten pretty comfortable here, made yourself right at home. Again, not complaining, just trying to make things clear here," she said quickly. "Back over Christmas, when we talked about this, about us, we agreed we were gonna take things slow, put it on the back burner for a little while until the time was right and-"

"You don't think the time wasn't right when you invited me to come here and visit you?"

Faith sighed, knowing Buffy wasn't fully understanding where she was trying to go with this conversation and she knew she had to be a little bit more clear on what she was getting at, choosing her words carefully since Buffy had an annoying habit of taking some of the things she'd say the wrong way.

"It was the right time, B. I thought it was just gonna be for a week."

"If you wanted me gone after a week, why are you asking me this now?"

"Cos I want to know if you're staying here with me, or if one of these days you're just gonna decide you miss your life back in Cali and decide to go home."

Buffy moved to sit astride her lap and gently cupped her face in her hands, making Faith look straight at her. "Do you want me to stay?" She asked and Faith nodded. "Then I'll stay. I kind of thought it was obvious that I would be, seeing how I'm still very much here."

"Good," Faith smiled, her hands easily finding their way to rest on Buffy's hips. "Cos, like I said, I've gotten used to ya being here, B. All those months of phone calls, didn't know how much more of it I could stand. It was getting harder, you know? Talking to ya every day and not being able to see you, kind of started driving me nuts and I couldn't understand why. But I get it now. I do. Everything makes more sense when you're here with me. Everything feels more complete with you here, like this is how it should be and that there's no other way for it to be."

Faith couldn't get enough of Buffy and at first, she'd been so afraid when she came to visit her, just as afraid as she was after Buffy had kissed her that very first time. She was so afraid that she'd be left with a broken heart so broken beyond repair that she'd lose herself again.

There were a lot of things she'd learned while Azri'el had put that through that whole ordeal. She learned a lot of things about herself, things she hadn't realized were even there. She learned how to open up, let down her walls and trust Buffy again. She learned a lot about Buffy too, those long hours of phone calls giving them more than enough time to talk and really get to know and understand one another. The one biggest thing that she did learn was that if Azri'el hadn't come to their world, hadn't tried to put an end to the slayer line completely, that she would have never realized what it was like to fall in love, to have someone love her back the way that Buffy did.

When heroes fall, a whole new world is opened up to them. And as Faith learned along the way, she had to be willing to let go and let things happen, instead of fighting them and herself. She'd made some mistakes, they all had, but she'd made some choices that had forever changed the path that her life was on. Now it was just her and Buffy again, the original Chosen Two, the two of them against the rest of the world. The natural balance had been restored almost completely and Faith was sure that wherever the First was holed up, It was screaming in frustration of being beaten by them once again.

A hero never stays down once they've fallen. Not when they inevitably find love they were never looking for along the way. When they find a purpose, a reason to keep going and to never give up, they'll always find a way to rise again, to be that hero they were and would forever be.

Faith had never known love before because she wasn't meant to until now. Fate still very much controlled her life and everyone who crossed paths with her were woven into her fate, her destiny one way or another.

"Come back to bed?" Buffy said softly, pulling her away from the heavy thoughts that always seemed to plague her mind. "It's still too early to be awake. And when we wake up," Buffy said, a teasing smile dancing over her lips as she led Faith back inside. "I'll show you again how much I love you, how real this is, over and over again. Day after day. Night after night."

And Faith couldn't help but smile. Happiness surrounded her despite the dangers that still lurked in the darkness of the night. But, it was her life and she no longer walked it alone. She never would again, not as long as Buffy was there with her, right at her side.

Where she belonged. Where she was meant to be.

**The End**


End file.
